Florida

* Bed Bath & Beyond has a new top lawyer. Hope she gets more than a 20% discount. [Bloomberg Law]

* The husband of the Los Angeles County District Attorney is under investigation for pointing a gun at protesters. [Los Angeles Times]

* The NCAA is facing a lawsuit alleging that it did not do enough to protect women from violence perpetrated by male athletes. [USA Today]

* The Florida Bar has launched a hotline to help attorneys dealing with stress amid the ongoing pandemic. [Daily Business Review]

* R. Kelly “didn’t believe he could fly” to Brooklyn for an arraignment on new charges, so he teleconferenced into the proceedings from his jail cell in Chicago. [New York Daily News]

* Several death row inmates in Arizona have died because of COVID-19. [NBC News]

* A Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice who lost re-election has unrecused himself. Hey, what about no backsies? [CNN]

* The lawyer who sued Florida’s governor over COVID-19-related closures will be wearing a Grim Reaper outfit on beaches to warn people about social distancing. Wonder if he’ll need a mask with that costume. [NBC News]

* An attorney, and former managing partner at a New Jersey law firm, has pleaded guilty to tax evasion to the tune of $250,000. [New Jersey Law Journal]

* A new lawsuit alleges that New York City jail workers are being forced to work 24-hour shifts in a “cesspool of illness.” It’s a horrible situation, and you have to hand it to the lawyers for that colorful language. [New York Post]

* The Texas Attorney General’s Office filed a lawsuit accusing the largest U.S. egg producer of price gouging. Whoever loses the lawsuit may end up with egg on their face… [Wall Street Journal]

* The search continues for a Chicago-area attorney who went missing a month ago. [Chicago Tribune]

* A lawyer who lost her law license for losing a briefcase of sensitive documents on a train is appealing her case. Unless this lawyer lost the nuclear football, her punishment seems kind of harsh. [Legal Week]

NIAID's Anthony Fauci is of the opinion that the only way professional sports will be played in 2020 is without fans in attendance and by keeping players in hotels.

* A Florida attorney is suing over his county’s COVID-19-related curfew, arguing that “[i]t’s not like the virus is Count Dracula.” With an argument like that, he can’t lose. [New York Post]

* A husband and wife (who were both lawyers) were found dead in their Chicago home on Monday under suspicious circumstances. [NBC News]

* The top lawyer of Twitter saw his pay decrease last year, but don’t worry, he still makes millions of dollars a year. [Bloomberg Law]

* An attorney won around $106,000 during a five-day winning streak on Jeopardy! Should cover about a year’s worth of law school loans… [Online Athens]

* Selena Gomez has filed a $10 million lawsuit against a game developer for the unauthorized use of her likeness. [Variety]

* A lawyer has discovered a way to make plastic face shields from plastic covers on legal documents. Is this attorney named MacGyver? [ABA Journal]

* A judge is complaining that some attorneys are appearing shirtless and in bed for court conferences held via Zoom because of COVID-19. Of course, this is happening in Florida… [Local 10]

* Speaking of which, the Supreme Court will be conducting oral arguments by remote means next month. It seems that there will be no on-camera component to the arguments, so counsel might get away with participating in their underwear. [CNN]

* Check out this Texas lawyer who traded a suit for scrubs and volunteered to help COVID-19 patients at a New York hospital. [Dallas Morning News]

* A federal judge has ruled that ICE must allow detainees to have private phone calls with their attorneys during the COVID-19 pandemic. [Los Angeles Times]

* McDonald’s employees have filed a class-action lawsuit against the fast food chain alleging that the company has a systematic sexual harassment problem. [Business Insider]

* The North Carolina Attorney General is investigating someone for price gouging for offering to sell a roll of toilet paper for $100. Maybe it was just super premium toilet paper? [AP]

* A Florida judge has tossed a lawsuit claiming that the governor of Florida couldn’t close the state’s beaches because of COVID-19. Looks like people will have to hit tanning beds instead of beaches…it’s an essential service, right? [Orlando Sentinel]

* A federal judge has ordered the inspection of DC jails amid concerns that prison officials are not doing enough to prevent the spread of COVID-19. [Washington Post]

* The family of a Walmart employee has filed a wrongful death lawsuit after the employee died from COVID-19. [NBC News]

* StubHub is another one of the long list of businesses facing class action lawsuits for allegedly not treating customers fairly when it comes to dealing with issues involving COVID-19. [Billboard]

* Officials in Los Angeles have settled a lawsuit with a company claiming that they had accurate in-home test kits that could detect antibodies for COVID-19. [Los Angeles Daily News]

* A lawyer with no park experience will now be in charge of the Grand Canyon. What does this attorney really need to know other than not to fall in? [Washington Post]

* An attorney has sued the Governor of Florida for not closing Florida’s beaches earlier. So this is the guy who canceled Spring Break? [CBS News]

* New York courts are having a difficult time administering justice in the current environment. [New York Times]

* The Ohio Attorney General has sent letters to abortion clinics telling them to stop all non-essential abortions. [Cleavland.com]

* The Supreme Court has reported that all nine justices are healthly, and all participated in the most recent conference. [Fox News]

* The maker of Purell is facing a class action lawsuit alleging that it misled customers when it said that Purell can kill 99.9% of germs. Any recovery would simply be a fraction of the money Purell is printing right now because of the COVID-19 pandemic. [NBC News]

Florida's leaders have done a fine job of identifying problems in the state’s prison system. Now they need to find the will to solve them.

* Michael Avenatti’s lawyer has indicated that his client has been released from solitary confinement. Guess this will help Avenatti prepare for his other criminal trials… [CNN]

* A lawsuit alleges that Florida should not count primary votes for Bernie Sanders since he is not a true Democrat. [USA Today]

* The judge overseeing the Roger Stone criminal case seemed skeptical about Stone’s request for a new trial. [Guardian]

* Julian Assange’s lawyer claims the U.S. wanted to kill the Wikileaks founder and make it look like an accident. Seems a little paranoid. [New York Post]

* The Supreme Court has tossed a lawsuit over the cross-border killing of a teen. [Reuters]

* A University of Maryland student is alleging in a lawsuit that the school knowingly served her gluten even though she had celiac disease. South Park fans know some of the symptoms of eating gluten… [WUSA9]

Not a good look for someone with a law degree.

Don't worry, they'll probably just close more polling places.

* There is a lawyer who gets to decide whether bobbleheads of the pope are allowed to be made. Sounds like a pretty good gig. [Wall Street Journal]

* A New York lawyer who practiced until he was 101 has passed away. [New York Times]

* Wawa has been hit with lawsuits over a massive data breach. Everyone who lives in North Jersey is breathing a sigh of relief… [ABC News]

* An Illinois man who pretended to be a lawyer for five years has been charged with the unauthorized practice of law. [Patch]

* A Florida attorney has been suspended from practice after making anti-Muslim and homophobic remarks. [Miami Herald]

* The Florida Bar is requiring a Florida attorney to take a professionalism workshop after he shooed a stowaway raccoon off of his boat in open waters. Bet the Florida Bar was moved by the heartbreaking pictures of the raccoon in the water. [Tampa Bay Times]

* Notorious RBG threw cold water on President Trump’s impeachment law knowledge yesterday after President Trump suggested that the impeachment process could be stopped by the Supreme Court. [USA Today]

* A California lawyer has been found guilty of running a scheme to secure foreign investment visas when legitimate investments were often not being made. [Mercury News]

* The Washington State Attorney General has sued the Trump Administration over ICE arrests made in state courthouses. [Seattle Times]

* Progressive groups are calling for Justice Brett Kavanaugh to recuse himself from a case involving the constitutionality of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. [CNBC]

* It looks like the CBD industry could be facing a flood of new lawsuits, and that’s not just people being paranoid. [Bloomberg Law]

* Lawyers for a stuntman who was killed on the set of The Walking Dead is asking for up to $100 Million in damages from AMC. [Yahoo Entertainment]

* President Trump’s ex-lawyer Michael Cohen is asking for a sentence reduction. Guess President Trump’s former fixer is not enjoying his time in “Club Fed.” [CNBC]

* The alleged Boston Marathon bomber’s lawyer has argued that the jury pool was tainted and that the bomber’s death sentence conviction should be thrown out. [NBC News]

* The Supreme Court has been urged to review a constitutional challenge to the high tolls on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Hopefully, the justices will look into the New Jersey turnpike next. [Penn Live]

* A defeated governor is accused of handing out an insane number of pardons on his way out the door, even catching some of the pardoned prisoners completely by surprise. [Washington Post]

* Boies Schiller Flexner LLP has begun succession planning so that the firm can continue long past David Boies’ tenure. [Wall Street Journal]

* A Florida politician is accused of stealing nearly $50,000 from a law firm, and buying items from a sex toy store, among other purchases. Maybe he’ll argue that this was a business expense… [CBS Miami]

Plus some predictions -- but this case is anything but predictable....

When will the trial of Sigfredo Garcia and Katherine Magbanua get underway? And what's the latest about Dan Markel's ex-wife, Wendi Adelson?

Of course this happened in Florida.

And will Wendi Adelson be deposed?

None of this makes sense and that's fine.

This opinion serves as a warning to those who are thinking about stealing from clients or the church collection plate.