John Roberts

  • stack of money

    Benchslaps, Biglaw, Bonuses, Federal Judges, John Roberts, Law School Deans, Legal Ethics, Money, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Tobacco / Smoking

    Morning Docket: 11.28.12

    * Chief Justice John Roberts gave a Solicitor General’s Office attorney a vicious tongue-lashing for failure to be upfront about policy changes between presidents. Now that’s what we’d call a verbal benchslap! [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

    * When asked if they’d be following Cravath’s bonuses, a dozen Am Law 100 firms didn’t even care to respond or discuss the matter. It seems the partners would rather keep their associates squirming with suspense a while longer. [Am Law Daily]

    * Watch out, world, because Catholic University of America just hired a Biglaw senior partner to lead its law school. Say hello to Dean Daniel Attridge, formerly managing partner at the D.C. office of Kirkland & Ellis. [National Law Journal]

    * A federal judge ordered tobacco companies to disclose in product warnings that they chemically induce smoking addictions to turn a profit, but those fools will keep puffing their cancer sticks anyway. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * This just in from Flori-duh: you know you’re probably going to have a bad day in court when the judge won’t declare a mistrial even though the prosecutor technically wasn’t a member of the state Bar. [Miami Herald]

    1 Comment / / Nov 28, 2012 at 9:05 AM
  • roberts-dunham RF

    Celebrities, Federal Judges, John Roberts, Media and Journalism, SCOTUS, Supreme Court

    What Does Chief Justice John Roberts Have in Common With Lena Dunham?

    Chief Justice John Roberts and Lena Dunham are both named on some year-end lists, but which ones?

    10 Comments / / Nov 20, 2012 at 1:25 PM
  • Alan Dershowitz, Jeffrey Toobin, John Roberts, Lawyerly Lairs, Layoffs, Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS, Secretaries / Administrative Assistants, Sentencing Law, Staff Layoffs, Supreme Court, United Kingdom / Great Britain, Videos, YouTube

    Non-Sequiturs: 10.08.12

    * In light of Chief Justice Roberts’s historic vote to uphold Obamacare, should we expect JGR to be more liberal going forward? According to Jeffrey Toobin, author of The Oath (affiliate link), “Do not expect a new John Roberts. Expect the conservative he has always been.” [Talking Points Memo via How Appealing]

    * Law firm staff layoffs: they’re not just an American thing. Slaughter and May is dropping the ax on 28 secretaries. [Roll On Friday]

    * “[A]ny robot or high school graduate can calculate numbers in a matrix to arrive at the highest possible sentence. But it takes a Judge — a man or woman tempered by experience in life and law — to properly judge another human being’s transgressions.” [Justice Building Blog]

    * Professor Dershowitz’s $4 million Cambridge mansion? Robert Wenzel is not impressed: “if I lived in that house, I would want to attack Iran and most of the rest of the world, also.” [Economic Policy Journal]

    * A man sues a strip club, alleging that a stripper ruptured his bladder when she slid down a pole and onto his abdomen. Ouch. [Legally Weird / Findlaw]

    * Still on the subject of Torts, two attractive blonde sisters walk into a bar — and discuss who can be held liable if a man suffers a heart attack during a threesome. Video after the jump….

    5 Comments / / Oct 8, 2012 at 6:27 PM
  • drinking

  • How many justices can you name?

  • breastfeeding-white-outfit

    2nd Circuit, Akin Gump, American Bar Association / ABA, Arent Fox, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Breasts, Divorce Train Wrecks, Dorsey & Whitney, Duane Morris, Education / Schools, John Roberts, Law Professors, Law Schools, Media and Journalism, Morning Docket, Oral Sex / Blow Jobs, Pornography, Privacy, Real Estate, SCOTUS, Sheppard Mullin, Supreme Court, Texas, Women's Issues

    Morning Docket: 08.10.12

    * “I’ve been a restaurant waitress, a hotel hostess, a car parker, a nurse’s aide, a maid in a motel, a bookkeeper and a researcher.” This SCOTUS wife was well-prepared to give a graduation speech at New England Law. [Huffington Post]

    * Sniffling over lost profits is the best way to get a court to take your side. Biglaw firms have asked the Second Circuit to consider reversing a decision in the Coudert Brothers “unfinished business” clawback case. [Legal Intelligencer]

    * James Holmes, the alleged Aurora movie theater gunman, is being evicted from his apartment. Guess he didn’t know — or care — that booby-trapping the place with bombs would be against the terms of his lease. [Denver Post]

    * The ABA has created a task force to study the future of legal education, and its work is expected to completed in 2014. ::rolleyes:: Oh, good thing they’re not in any kind of a hurry — there’s no need to rush. [ABA Journal]

    * Indiana Tech, the little law school that nobody wants could, has hired its first faculty members. Thus far, the school has poached law professors from from West Virginia, Florida A&M, and Northern Illinois. [JD Journal]

    * When divorces get weird: is this lawyer’s soon-to-be ex-wife hacking into his law firm email account and planning to publish privileged communications online? Yep, this is in Texas. [Unfair Park / Dallas Observer]

    * Breast-feeding porn: yup, that’s a thing, so start Googling. A New Jersey mother is suing an Iowa production company after an instructional video she appeared in was spliced to create pornography. [Boston Globe]

    * If someone from your school newspaper asks you for a quote about oral sex, and then you’re quoted in the subsequent article, you’re probably not going to win your invasion of privacy lawsuit. [National Law Journal]

    2 Comments / / Aug 10, 2012 at 9:05 AM
  • A litigatrix's lawyerly lair.

    Gay, Gay Marriage, John Roberts, Lawyerly Lairs, Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Vanessa Bryant

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.31.12

    * Chief Justice John Roberts, in his capacity as circuit justice for the Fourth Circuit, has given the green light — for the time being — to Maryland’s continued collection of DNA samples from people charged with violent felonies. [New York Times]

    * Professor Dan Markel isn’t a fan of the practice, arguing that it “is yet another abuse of the presumption of innocence.” [PrawfsBlawg]

    * In other Supreme Court news, the proponents of Prop 8′s ban on gay marriage have filed a petition for certiorari with the Court. [Arthur Leonard / Leonard Link]

    * And in other gay marriage news, yet another federal judge — Judge Vanessa Bryant (D. Conn.), a Bush II appointee — has struck down Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act. [Chris Geidner / BuzzFeed]

    A California litigatrix’s lawyerly lair.

    * Lawyerly Lairs: Emily Alexander’s beautiful, light-filled home is awash in color. There are no hunting prints in sight — even though she used to practice at Sullivan & Cromwell. [California Home + Design]

    * The mother of a man who died during a police chase has sued the SFPD over her son’s accidentally shooting himself. Opines SFist: “It remains unclear to us why [Kenneth] Harding has been chosen to serve as a martyr, given his not-so-stellar record and the self-inflicted wound.” [SFist]

    * Poor Professor Campos — does his self-loathing know no bounds? The prominent law professor, one of legal academia’s harshest (and most eloquent) critics, has now turned his powerful fire on baby boomers — of whom he is one. [Salon]

    3 Comments / / Jul 31, 2012 at 6:04 PM
  • No, he's not wagging his finger at the Chief.

    Antonin Scalia, Election 2012, Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, Politics, SCOTUS, Supreme Court

    The Not-So-Young and the Restless: Drama at One First Street?

    Are Justice Scalia and Chief Justice Roberts on the outs over Obamacare? And how has public opinion of the Supreme Court shifted in the wake of the Affordable Care Act decision?

    19 Comments / / Jul 19, 2012 at 5:21 PM
  • indicating shirt

    Bail, Biglaw, Bonuses, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Education / Schools, Job Searches, John Osborn, John Roberts, Law Schools, Magic Circle, Money, Morning Docket, Murder, Scott Rothstein, SCOTUS, Sun Microsystems, Supreme Court, Texas, United Kingdom / Great Britain

    Morning Docket: 07.06.12

    * Chief Justice John Roberts might “enjoy that he’s being criticized,” but that’s probably because he’ll get the chance to show his true conservative colors this fall when issues like affirmative action and same-sex marriage are before SCOTUS. [Reuters]

    * Dewey know why this failed firm thinks a bankruptcy judge is going to allow it to hand out $700K in “morale” bonuses? You better believe that Judge Martin Glenn is going to tell D&L where it can (indicate). [Bankruptcy Beat / Wall Street Journal]

    * It seems like attorneys at Freshfields may actually need to get some sleep, because it was the sole Magic Circle firm to report a decline in in revenue and profitability in its latest financial disclosure statements. [Financial Times (reg. req.)]

    * Judge Kenneth Lester Jr. didn’t do George Zimmerman any favors when he set his bond at $1M. Watch how quickly the defense fund Zimmerman concealed from the court disappears as he struggles to post bail. [CNN]

    * Whatever it takes (to count you as employed): 76% of law schools report that they’ve now changed their curriculum to include more practical skills courses in light of the dismal job market. [National Law Journal]

    * Texas Christian University is expanding its graduate programs, but a law school isn’t necessarily in the works, because TCU is only interested in “programs that promote employability.” Well, sh*t, y’all. [TCU 360]

    11 Comments / / Jul 6, 2012 at 9:05 AM
  • fireworks

    Airplanes / Aviation, California, Constitutional Law, Copyright, Department of Justice, Federal Government, Federal Judges, Food, Gay Marriage, Intellectual Property, John Roberts, Law Schools, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, UNC Law

    Morning Docket: 07.04.12

    Ed. note: Your Above the Law editors are busy celebrating their freedom today (and we hope that you are, too). We will return to our regular publication schedule on Thursday, July 5.

    * At this point, the Supreme Court’s dramatic deliberations on the Affordable Care Act are like a leaking sieve. Now we’ve got dueling narratives on Chief Justice Roberts’s behind-the-scenes flip-flopping. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Life, liberty, and the pursuit of fabulosity! The Department of Justice has asked the Supreme Court to grant cert on two DOMA cases, contending that Section 3 of the statute is unconstitutional. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

    * A famous fabulist: according to California’s State Bar, disgraced journalist Stephen Glass is a “pervasive and documented liar,” but that’s not stopping him from trying to get his license to practice law. [Los Angeles Times]

    * Clayton Osbon, the JetBlue pilot who had an epic mid-flight nutty and started ranting about religion and terrorists, was found not guilty by reason of insanity by a federal judge during a bench trial. [New York Post]

    * After a month of bizarre legal filings, Charles Carreon has dropped his lawsuit against Matthew Inman of The Oatmeal. We’re hoping that there will be an awesome victory cartoon drawn up soon. [Digital Life / Today]

    * Northwestern Law is the only American law school to have joined a 17-member global justice league geared toward legal teaching and research collaborations. But do they get cool costumes? [National Law Journal]

    * UNC Law received two charitable gifts totaling $2.7M that will be used to fund tuition scholarships for current and future students. Maybe their students won’t have to create tuition donation sites anymore. [Herald-Sun]

    * This law is for the birds (literally and figuratively). California’s ban on the sale of foie gras had only been in effect for one day before the first lawsuit was filed to overturn it as unconstitutional. [San Francisco Chronicle]

    * The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration of the Department of Commerce recently announced that mermaids do not exist. Not to worry — it’s still legal to believe that Ariel is a babe. [New York Daily News]

    6 Comments / / Jul 4, 2012 at 9:15 AM
  • Alec Baldwin was such a stud.

    Barack Obama, Celebrities, Department of Justice, Divorce Train Wrecks, Drugs, Gambling, Gambling / Gaming, Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, Law Schools, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Social Media, Social Networking Websites, Supreme Court, Twittering

    Morning Docket: 07.03.12

    * Obama’s win for health care reform didn’t result in a polling bump for him, but it did result in an even higher disapproval rating for SCOTUS, at least as far as Republicans are concerned… [POLITCO; CBS News]

    * … which may be why Chief Justice John Roberts escaped to “an impregnable island fortress” to avoid the Right’s fury, criticism, and scorn as soon as he could after the ACA opinion dropped. [New York Times]

    * “[W]e have learned from the mistakes that were made.” That lesson only cost a few billion dollars. GlaxoSmithKline will pay $3B in the largest health-care fraud settlement in U.S. history. [Wall Street Journal]

    * After losing a bid to quash a subpoena, Twitter has to turn over info about an #OWS protester’s tweets. OMG, please respond to that thing in 140 characters or less. [Bloomberg]

    * Unlike most recent law school grads, Yale Law’s Vanessa Selbst hasn’t been hedging her bets in bar prep classes. Instead, she went all in, played her cards right, and won $244K at the World Series of Poker. [ESPN]

    * Divorce really does bring out the best in people. Alec Baldwin says that if given the chance, he would murder his ex-wife Kim Basinger’s lawyer “with a baseball bat.” Gee, tell us how you really feel. [New York Post]

    4 Comments / / Jul 3, 2012 at 9:07 AM
  • Conservatives, just shut up about this guy. You'll all love him again when he strikes down Affirmative-Action this fall.

    Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.02.12.

    * I think there is an interesting question on why Republican Presidents seem to have difficulty getting their Supreme Court justices to vote the party line, but this opinion writer handles the discussion in a stupid, butthurt way. [Washington Post]

    * Your Tweets can be subpoenaed. #Biglawdiscoverytactics. [Atlantic Wire]

    * Rutgers-Camden Law seems to be having trouble filling its seats. Maybe that’s why they’ve started admitting people who didn’t even apply. [Tax Prof Blog]

    * If you spend over $100K for a J.D. and then end up working at Axiom, you’ve probably lost. [Law Technology News]

    * Here’s a nice little chart made with Chambers numbers to tell us which firms seem to be staffing up. The takeaway is that in addition to your studies, you should be spending enough time in the gym so you look pretty enough to work at Davis Polk. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * A Blawg Review that pays homage to Lyndon Baines Johnson. I read that LBJ used to take meetings while he was on the crapper. You probably couldn’t do that today without somebody suing you. [The Defense Rests via Blawg Review]

    4 Comments / / Jul 2, 2012 at 5:00 PM
  • Even Lance Armstrong reads Above the Law.

    Abortion, Biglaw, Constitutional Law, Department of Justice, Drugs, Eric Holder, Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, John Yoo, Morning Docket, Murder, SCOTUS, Sports, Supreme Court

    Morning Docket: 07.02.12

    * As it’s told, the Supreme Court never leaks, but two sources who were close to the Affordable Care Act deliberations thought this tidbit was worth sharing with the public. Perhaps Chief Justice Roberts isn’t so noble after all, because he was originally batting for the conservatives. [CBS News]

    * In fact, many are comparing Chief Justice Roberts to Chief Justice Marshall, but Professor John Yoo thinks he’s more comparable to Chief Justice Hughes, in that he “sacrificed the Constitution’s last remaining limits on federal power for very little.” Ohh, sick burn. [Wall Street Journal]

    * The Department of Justice will not be filing a criminal contempt case against Attorney General Eric Holder, despite Congress’s seal of approval. Alas, if looks like you need to do a little bit more than piss off a few legislators to get prosecuted for a criminal offense. [Blog of Legal Times]

    * Is fear of accidental spittle from a close talker enough to warrant slapping a Biglaw partner in the face? Yup, and it seems it’s even cause to file a lawsuit with allegations of slander and assault. [Am Law Daily (reg. req.)]

    * A judge has temporarily blocked enforcement of a new law that could have shut down the only abortion clinic in Mississippi. It’s refreshing to know the judicial system is willing to bring out the kid in you. [Washington Post]

    * What do you do when the U.S Anti-Doping Agency has filed formal charges against you? Take to Twitter and link to an ATL post about one of the anonymous Review Board member’s pervy predilections. [ABC News]

    * “It was an accident, it was an accident, it was an accident.” That may be the case, but much like your law school loan debt, you can’t take it back. Alleged killer Jason Bohn was arraigned for murder. [New York Post]

    11 Comments / / Jul 2, 2012 at 9:05 AM
  • Sexorcise the demon!

    8th Circuit, Bail, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, Law Firm Mergers, Morning Docket, Religion, SCOTUS, Sentencing Law, Supreme Court

    Morning Docket: 06.29.12

    * You don’t necessarily have to agree with what Chief Justice John Roberts did with respect to his health care opinion, but you’ve got to admit that it was an act of statesmanship that will forever define his legacy on the Court. [New York Times]

    * CNN, one of the world’s most reliable news networks, reports that no many legal scholars were surprised unsurprised by yesterday’s Supreme Court decision to strike down uphold the Individual Broccoli Mandate Affordable Care Act. [CNN]

    * Word to the wise: don’t get cocky over in the Eighth Circuit, because apparently boosting the length of a prison term based on whether or not a defendant is smiling at sentencing is not considered an abuse of discretion. [National Law Journal]

    * Dewey know why the number of law firm mergers and acquisitions in the United States dropped during the second quarter? Truth be told, they’re all scared, because “[n]obody wants to wind up with a lemon.” [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

    * George Zimmerman, the man charged in Trayvon Martin’s death, is returning to court today to try to get himself released on bond… again. Let’s give him some credit, because he sure is tenacious. [ABC News]

    * Listen, it’s not an easy thing to perform an exorcism these days. Sometimes a priest really just needs to kiss and caress the demon out of your body — a sexorcism, if you will. Nothing to sue over, nothing at all. [MSNBC]

    14 Comments / / Jun 29, 2012 at 9:05 AM
  • Supreme-Court-SCOTUS-photo-by-David-Lat1

    Anthony Kennedy, Constitutional Law, John Roberts, SCOTUS, Supreme Court

    SCOTUS Affirms That America is the Land of Taxes and Lies

    The Supreme Court upheld the Affordable Care Act, but what else was decided today?

    10 Comments / / Jun 28, 2012 at 6:32 PM
  • Supreme Court artsy

    Barack Obama, Constitutional Law, Election 2012, Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, Neal Katyal, Politics, SCOTUS, Supreme Court

    Individual Mandate Survives; It’s A Tax Now!

    Roberts upholds the individual mandate as a tax, not as a use of commerce power…

    222 Comments / / Jun 28, 2012 at 10:14 AM
  • journalist-hat

    Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, Media and Journalism, Quote of the Day, SCOTUS, Supreme Court

    Quote of the Day: Good F*%&in’ Luck With That

    Will the Supreme Court provide live audio access to the announcement of its opinion in the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act case (aka Obamacare)?

    14 Comments / / Jun 15, 2012 at 1:55 PM
  • Alston & Bird, Anthony Kennedy, Biglaw, California, Email Scandals, Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, Law Schools, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Supreme Court

    Morning Docket: 03.12.12

    * Two weeks from today, the Supreme Court will be hearing oral arguments on the Obamacare case. Everyone thinks Justice Kennedy’s vote will swing the Court, but Chief Justice Roberts isn’t about to let him steal his sunshine. [New York Times]

    * Montana’s Chief Judge stands accused of sending a racist email, but he once counseled law students about the dangers of email. It seems like the man can’t follow his own advice… and that’s some major Cebulls**t! [Billings Gazette]

    * Gaming post-graduation employment statistics: the Columbia Law School and NYU Law edition. It looks like it might be time to fire up the Strauss/Anziska machine for the top tier of our nation’s law schools. [New York Post]

    * Greenberg Traurig and Alston & Bird think people care about their new, multimillion dollar rental agreements in Los Angeles. No one cares. They just want to know where the spring bonuses are. [Los Angeles Times]

    * But speaking of Alston & Bird, some Floridians are complaining about the firm’s bill. $475 an hour for four partners and associates? You really need to stop, because you’re getting the deal of the century. [The Ledger]

    * James Humphreys — with a P-H! — donated $1M to GW School of Law so more students can receive scholarships. Maybe one of our favorite Wall Street Occupiers will get one? [National Law Journal]

    16 Comments / / Mar 12, 2012 at 9:00 AM

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