* Unfortunately, it looks like law schools aren’t the only ones cooking the books. According to Citigroup, partner profits in the Am Law 100 may have been a teensy bit overstated last year. [Wall Street Journal]
* A perp walk is a terrible thing to waste. Prosecutors may be dropping the charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn faster than the old frog can allegedly drop his pants in a hotel room. [New York Times]
* Ethics investigation? Florida better realize that it’s dealing with the legal community’s honey badger. Jose Baez don’t care. Jose Baez don’t give a sh*t. [Crimesider / CBS News]
* Lindsay Lohan wants Pitbull to give her everything in this new lawsuit. Sorry honey, but you’ve already done more irreparable harm to yourself than a rap lyric ever could. [New York Daily News]
* In a lawsuit against Urban Outfitters over a picture, we learn that underage boobs are going for $14M a pop these days. Damn you, inflation, damn you to hell. [International Business Times]
* I see an orange jumpsuit in your future. And when you’re facing 47 counts of wire fraud after being busted in Operation Crystal Ball, that’s a pretty accurate fortune. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]
* Cozen O’Connor is caught between the parents and lesbian partner of a deceased attorney in a death benefits war. Lawyers’ fees will eat through that profit-sharing plan in no time. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Because everything’s bigger in Texas, they’ve got the seventh-largest lawyer surplus in the country. Wrangling a job at the employment rodeo is going to be tough this year. [Texas Lawyer]
* The Betty Ford worker suing Lindsay Lohan for $1M claims she isn’t in it for the money. She just wants to teach LiLo a lesson. I don’t think she needs a lesson in how to write a check. [Radar Online]
* Think you’re getting screwed at your job? Carroll Shelby’s alleged liquor ‘n porn run grope girl definitely has you beat. [Fox News]
* Lindsay Lohan is headed back to court today. She’s expected to be arraigned on charges of being the best actress ever. [Hollywood Life]
* Another future Nobelist, Kim Kardashian, has filed a lawsuit against the Gap for using what this article calls “a faux-dashian model in a commercial for its Old Navy brand.” May you live in frighteningly vapid times. [CNNMoney]
* Texas executed a man last night who went on a random brown person killing spree after 9/11. [Fox News]
* Two 14-year-old boys in New Jersey will be forced to register as sex offenders after dropping trou and throwing their stinkholes on two other kids’ faces. Motorboating: taint what it used to be. [WSJ Law Blog]
* The Dodgers squared off against Major League Baseball in a Delaware bankruptcy court yesterday. For more on this story, here’s a dog wearing a toupee. [CBSSports.com]
* Former Congressman and current law firm partner Martin Frost took to the cyberpages of Politico to brag about stealing unflattering file photos of a female judge he clerked for from the Dallas Morning News back in the 1970s. If that sentence doesn’t make sense to you, it’s because I don’t really understand what’s going on here. Also, I don’t write good. [Politico via ABA Journal]
This summer, sadly, the celebrity wattage seems to be considerably lower. Biglaw is less big than it was a few years ago, and landing a summer associate gig isn’t easy, even for the famous. But we still have a few names to pass along (and welcome additional submissions, by email).
This morning Elie referenced one of my favorite films: Mean Girls, starring the talented but now tormented Lindsay Lohan. This reminded me of one of our celebrity summers, who has had the pleasure of acting alongside LiLo. Unlike his famous co-star, however, he is now studying the law rather than breaking it.
Who is he, where is he a law student, and where is he working this summer? Let’s find out….
* Lloyd Blankfein testified in the Rajabba case and (you will not believe this) shook… Rajabba’s …hand. OMG. [Reuters]
* Meanwhile, in Wisconsin, prosecutor Ismael R. Ozanne is going to put the whole system on trial. [Bloomberg]
* The Supreme Court grappled with the question of whether poor people are entitled to legal representation in cases where they face jail time for failure to pay child support. On a related note, here is video of Shawn Kemp dunking on Alton Lister’s head. [New York Times]
* Dov Charney, world-renowned maker of leggings and sweatbands, once again stands accused of being a creep. [Los Angeles Times]
Jonathan Rhys Meyers: More than just a pretty face; also an alleged tortfeasor.
* Gloria Allred is tired of Lindsay Lohan strutting her stuff into the courtroom like a debutante instead of a defendant. Chill out, Gloria. At least it’s actually LiLo’s stuff, unless that silicone was stolen, too. [New York Times]
* The ABA is thinking up ways for law schools to more creatively rig their nine-months-after-graduation employment rates. Burger flipping is a totally professional job, right? Right? [Morse Code / U.S. News]
* Actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers is getting sued for going to pound town with a United Airlines employee. No, not that pound town. It was actually a little more like ground and pound. [Daily Mail]
* Today in Racebaiting 101, we will learn about the comedic aptitude of white judges who refer to the KKK in plea agreements for young black men. Discuss. [Los Angeles Times]
* Well, the good news is that you’re not going to die from kidney failure. The bad news is that you’re going to die from AIDS. This story is like a bad bar exam question. [Wall Street Journal]
* David J. Stern is doing the dip on 9,000 foreclosure cases in Florida. He just doesn’t have the manpower to file the correct paperwork. How about you just robo-sign all those withdrawals, too? [Palm Beach Post]
* The Wisconsin Senate passed sweeping curbs on collective bargaining yesterday. The protesters are still howling, but I wonder how loud they’ll be when Pinkertons shove batons in their faces. That’s not actually happening. I just have a fairly violent and anachronistic imagination. [Reuters]
* House Republicans have gone meta in promising a defense of the Defense of Marriage Act. [Los Angeles Times]
* State Senator Carl Kruger, of Brooklyn, will turn himself in on corruption charges today. Big up to Crooklyn. [New York Times]
* Coach Sweater Vest’s hilarious understanding of attorney-client privilege is hilarious. [The Lantern]
* Profits per partner at Kirkland & Ellis topped $3 million in 2010, and the firm boosted its revenue even though it shed some lawyers. I Can Has Spring Bonus? [Am Law Daily]
* Yesterday, the Supreme Court agreed to decide whether Congress may take works out of the public domain and slap a copyright on them. I’m never going to fill this Zune up if I can’t score some free Stravinsky. [Wired News]
* More than 100 law professors are lobbying Congress to apply an ethics code to the Supreme Court. In related news, Clarence Thomas continues to troll the f**k out of a bunch of law professors. [ABA Journal]
* Arizona might have a host of new anti-immigration laws. The state hasn’t been this welcoming since The Brothers Brothers were working for their tourism commission. [New York Times]
* “Teachers accused of steamy lesbian romp fire back at city with $2M suit.” [New York Post]
* If the Muslim Brotherhood gains power in Egypt, they will impose sharia law. Just like Oklahoma! [ABC Online]
* Lindsay Lohan took to Twitter to announce that she “was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal.” Well, nature it is. [msnbc.com]
* Arizona is suing the federal government over the porous border. Mr. Obama, build us a wall! [Reuters]
* Barry Bonds, he of the enormous dome piece, had the number of felony charges against him dropped to five. Hauling that gargantuan cranium about. I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik. [ESPN]
Watch to find out what some of our subscribers received in their May box!
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We currently have a number of active openings for associate roles at US and UK firms in HK / China, Singapore and two new in-house openings. As always, please feel free to reach out to us at email@example.com in order to get details of current openings in Asia, as well as to discuss the Asia markets in general and what we expect for openings later this year. Our Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney will be in Beijing the week of March 25 and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong the week of April 1, if you would like to meet them in person.
The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
• 2nd to 5th year mandarin fluent M&A associates needed in Beijing and Hong Kong at several firms;
• Korean fluent 2nd to 4th year cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 5th year Japanese fluent M&A associates needed in Tokyo;
• 4th to 6th year mandarin fluent cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 4th year M&A / cap markets mix associate needed in Singapore.
The last time I flapped my wings your way, I tried to make at least enough noise about your mobile phone to make you more than a little bit uncomfortable. I hope I did. If enough of us become anxious enough about the known and unknown unknowns and knowns in our mobile phones, then we can start making wise decisions about how to manage that information and its resultant investigations.
Today, I’d like to put a finer point on the last installment’s topic by asking a question that seemed to catch most attendees off-guard at a conference panel that I moderated last week: is there discoverable personal information in a mobile app? Our panelists’ answer was a uniform “yes” with one stating that, if he had to choose only one type of data that he could discover from a mobile phone, he’d choose app data. Why? Because there’s simply so much of it and because almost all of it is objective – not just user-created like an email – but machine-tracked like GPS, usage duration, log in and log out times, browsed web addresses, browsed actual addresses. Also, most of us seem to have the idea that data doesn’t actually “stick” to our mobile devices the way it “sticks” to our hard drives. Maybe there’s a disconnect based on the fact that our phones are mobile so we assume the data is mobile to?
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