* Talk about a Friday news dump! In case you missed these high-profile rulings, Amanda Knox was acquitted of murder charges in Italy (for the second time), and Ellen Pao lost her discrimination case against Kleiner Perkins. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Use this slideshow to compare how North Carolina law schools are doing in terms of job placement. Duke was on top, and NCCU was dead last. Bonus: There were very few school-funded jobs to strip out of the data — the numbers were just that bad on their own. [Triad Business Journal]
* LSAC doesn’t want to to adopt new disability accommodations for the LSAT because they “show a complete disregard for the importance of standardized testing conditions.” It’d rather show a complete disregard for applicants’ disabilities. [National Law Journal]
* Widener? I hardly know her! Thanks to the ABA, this saying has new meaning in legal circles. With the law school regulator’s blessing, Widener Law’s Delaware and Harrisburg campuses will officially become two separate schools effective July 1. [News Journal]
* Following blowback over the state’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act, Indiana Governor Mike Pence says he’ll push for legislation clarifying that the controversial law isn’t intended to support discrimination against the LGBT community. Suuure. [Indy Star]
* People are dogging this, but I wholeheartedly approve. Kids need to learn that Republicans will kill any idea no matter how benign while somehow making it about abortion. It’s an important life lesson. [NH1]
* Sometimes the help of a friend actually makes the situation worse. That’s why I make it my policy not to help. [Science of Relationships]
* A second suspect picked up in the triple murder involving America’s Next Top Model Mirjana Puhar. Investigators plan to give him a hot mic and wait for him to take a bathroom break. [Gawker]
* When you think about it, contract lawyers are living out the white-collar version of the Industrial Revolution. And doing about as well as the first Proletariat did. [Law and More]
* Someone thinks the country doesn’t have to be run by lawyers. This is a dangerous idea that could take down the empire we’ve all built. Thankfully it’s coming from the Transhumanist Party presidential candidate. So I think we’re safe. [Motherboard / Vice]
* That’s not how you use Swiss cheese… [Legal Juice]
* A new podcast discusses religious liberty bills with Professor Marci Hamilton, Verkuli Chair in Public Law at Cardozo. [RJ Court Watch]
* Another call to do something nice and simple so you aren’t the kind of lawyer people joke about. [What About Clients?]
* On that note, here’s a cavalcade of lawyer jokes explained. Until things get too real. [LFC360]
Can you tell the difference between actual CLE courses and ones we’ve just made up? Take our challenge and find out! Whatever the nature of your practice, our friends at Knowledge in Practice can help you navigate your options and find the CLE that works for you.
* Per a recent study, the class of 2010 is still screwed when it comes to securing work as attorneys. There are plenty of would-be lawyers working in “tennis instruction, office management, lingerie sales, and pest control.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* Law schools may be admitting less qualified students, but when the bar exam results are bad, it’s obviously the bar exam’s fault. Is it even fair to make new lawyers have to pass a bar exam at all? We should have more on this bar exam backlash later today. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Following layoffs in two other firms’ litigation practices, McDermott Will & Emery is losing three of its top litigation partners. Two are expected to decamp to Paul Hastings, and one is abandoning ship for King & Spalding. Yikes! [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]
* Law school applications are on the verge of hitting a 15-year low. Don’t worry, cautions LSAC, because “the rate of decline [in applications] is slowing.” Check out the sad (yet amazing) picture in the article and see if it makes you feel better. [Bloomberg Business]
* Undergrads at Villanova got a crash course in how to pay for law school this week, and were hopefully scared straight when they found out the majority of law students take out loans and “typically accumulate around $100,000-$200,000 in debt.” [The Villanovan]
* A registered sex offender wins the lottery. $3 million buys a lot of windowless vans. [Orlando Sentinel]
* Judge to federal prosecutor: “You’re branded as a liar and you’ll remain a liar for the rest of your life.” [New York Observer]
* A New York lawyer has been arrested and charged with running down 5 people in Herald Square. Alcohol and crack pipes are involved. And topless selfies. Look, you’re going to see more on this from Staci in the morning, so just sit tight. [Inquisitr]
* If you want to live in a mansion, all you need to do is forge a few documents. [Gawker]
* The Supreme Court of Canada says cops can search your phone when they arrest you. But only to check the Habs score. [Ars Technica]
* Another installment of Posner on Posner. This time focusing on the First Amendment. [Concurring Opinions]
* This week we learned there’s a thing called “rectal feeding.” Professor Michael Dorf on why it’s totally a war crime. [Dorf on Law]
* How many law schools will close by 2020? [TaxProf Blog]
How should people with learning disabilities or difficulties be treated when taking the LSAT?
People who abuse extra time are almost unstoppable now.
* The best part of the DOJ’s charges against the Chinese hackers is definitely the fact that we now have a “Wanted” poster for “Wang Dong.” Third graders of the world, go ahead and snicker. [What About Clients]
* This is a literal way of sticking it to the banks — man arrested for attempting to have sex with an ATM machine. He was charged with public intoxication. And solicitation… goddamned $3.00 out of network charge. [The Smoking Gun]
* A new NFL lawsuit alleges that the NFL illegally used painkillers to cover up injuries. This story is brought to you by the letters D, U, and H. [Sports Illustrated]
* In an interview, the admissions dean of the University of Texas says the school “extend[s] opportunities to students who aren’t 100% perfect on paper.” No kidding. [Tipping the Scales]
* Australian lawyers are trying to argue that their cease and desist letters are copyrighted and cannot be republished. Professor Volokh explains why that’s not a viable argument in the United States. We. Totally. Concur. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* A transwoman was denied a requested name change. The judge? The former counsel to Liberty University. Of course. [GayRVA]
* Twitter icon Judge Dillard cited Wikipedia in a decision. Didn’t Keith Lee just have an article about that? [Court of Appeals of Georgia]
* More analysis of Gaston Kroub’s look at Biglaw’s Scarlet Letter. [Law and More]
* The DOJ announced that LSAC will pay $7.73 million and institute systemic reforms over its ADA violations. If only the DOJ could get on top of LSAC’s problems securing your private personal information. [U.S. Department of Justice (press release)]
We asked 850 attorneys and students how they choose a bar prep provider. Check out the answers here.
Just how safe is all the data you put on LSAC? Not as safe as you might have hoped.
* The D.C. Circuit just spanked the FCC and its net neutrality rules for the second time in a row, but at least the court was polite enough to give the agency a reach-around by saying that it had authority to govern broadband providers. [National Law Journal]
* Current and former judges of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court wrote a strongly worded letter in opposition to Obama’s proposed surveillance reforms. Apparently they don’t want their secret workload to increase. [Washington Post]
* Oooooooklahoma, where gay marriage comes sweepin’ down the plain! A federal judge ruled that the Sooner state’s ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, issuing a stay pending the obvious appeal to come. [BuzzFeed]
* California can prevent LSAC from notifying law schools when prospective law students were given extra time on the LSAT. LSAC values its ability to discriminate, so expect an appeal. [San Francisco Chronicle]
* Yo, Kanye West, I’m really happy for you, I’ma let you finish… I’m sorry, but Coinye had one of the best bitcoins of all time. ONE OF THE BEST BITCOINS OF ALL TIME. [MoneyBeat / Wall Street Journal]
Blueprint Test Preparation offers pre-law students some insight on how LSAC recalculates GPAs for admission to law school.
Not surprisingly, law school applications are down, again.
Does the law of gravity apply to law school tuition? Shockingly enough, the answer might be yes.
* Like any lawyers worth their salt, attorneys for the Obama administration are wasting precious time and procrastinating on whether they’ll weigh in on the Supreme Court’s Prop 8 case. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
* The nation’s largest companies, on the other hand, filed a brief with the Supreme Court concerning the DOMA case. Of course, they care more about money than people, but that’s beside the point. [New York Times]
* Lanny Breuer took his sweet time turning in his resignation from the top post of the DOJ Criminal Division, but his acting successor was named quite quickly. Welcome aboard, Mythili Raman. [Blog of Legal Times]
* Francine Griesing, the ex-Greenberg Traurig partner who alleged the firm was a “boys club,” agreed to mediate her claims. Too bad, we hoped something would actually happen with this case. [Legal Intelligencer]
* Hoping to get all your law school applications out before that looming March 1 deadline? Not gonna happen. LSAC’s site has been borked since Tuesday. Take this for the obvious sign that is is! [National Law Journal]
* Surprisingly not from The Onion: the Vatican wants to call the retiring pontiff “Pope Emeritus,” but a California rapper that no one’s ever heard of is threatening trademark litigation to stop it. [Borowitz Report / New Yorker]
* Oh my God, Debevoise & Plimpton is dropping its entire trusts and estates practice. Was the economy the cause? What about the eight newly unemployed lawyers? And most importantly, what would Josh Lyman’s father think?! [DealBook / New York Times]
* Major props go out to everyone at O’Melveny & Myers for hitting an all-time high in terms of both profits per partner ($2.06 million) and revenues per lawyer ($1.1 million). Here’s hoping the bonus situation reflected those incredible numbers. [Am Law Daily]
* We probably should’ve known when Pepper Hamilton acquired the Freeh Group back in August that exciting things would happen. Say hello to Louis Freeh, the firm’s new chair. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* Are we supposed to be surprised that the Millennials who are considering applying to law school are more self-confident than those who preceded them? They’re all special little snowflakes! [National Law Journal]
* If you’re taking the LSAT on Saturday, here are some tricks to keep yourself focused. But don’t worry, it’s only one of the most important tests you’ll ever take. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]
* Sorry, George Zimmerman, but even though you’re poor, your trial isn’t going to be delayed. Perhaps Judge Nelson made this announcement to serve as a poetic birthday present for Trayvon Martin. [Orlando Sentinel]