Money

It continues to baffle me how this president who was elected thanks to the overwhelming support of young people can’t see the crushing effect of student debt. I honestly think that President Obama has a blind spot on this issue because he was able to pay off his debts with a book deal. Not everybody gets a book deal.

Heck, in this economy, not everybody gets a job.

And if you don’t have a job, paying off your student loans is the last thing on your list. First comes shelter, then food, then dating, then internet (so you can look for jobs), then all the bills where they take something away from you if you don’t pay, then alcohol, and then you see if you have any money left over to pay your student loans.

I didn’t make that last paragraph up. That’s a pretty standard hierarchy of human needs.

For some reason, Obama doesn’t understand that. He seems to think that if you pester people more, they’ll pay off their loans. Thanks to this flawed logic, expect debt collection calls to be coming to a cell phone near you….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Obama Authorizes More Debt Collection Calls in Futile Attempt to Collect Blood From Rocks”

Karolina Stefanski

* Anna Nicole Smith is still screwing old white men from beyond the grave. Biglaw firms want Heller Ehrman’s claims to be decided in federal court, not bankruptcy court. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Kirkland & Ellis is pledging $2.75M to Stanford Law over the next five years in an effort to convince more students to take douchey pictures in front of their office signage. [Stanford Daily]

* Slow and steady wins the race, especially when it comes to reporting the news. A few news sites were eager to let readers know that Amanda Knox lost her appeal… except she didn’t. [Atlantic Wire]

* The Supreme Court has rejected yet another Obama birther lawsuit. Legal reasoning? “STFU, we’ll probably only have to deal with this dude for another year.” [CBS News]

* TWU to NYPD: Please don’t force us to listen to these Occupy Wall Street fools. We’d rather have our regular crazies on board. Of course, their lawsuit says it a bit more eloquently. [Wall Street Journal]

* Karolina Stefanski is being sued by an ex over some blank checks to the tune of $80K. Seriously, who cheats on a Playboy model? I mean, come on, boobs. [New York Post]

Admit it: Your corporation has a lot of legal flotsam and jetsam.

This is probably true no matter what business you’re in. On the corporate side, you have routine business transactions, and you may well handle those in-house. On the litigation side, you have a bunch of routine cases that pose little risk to the company but represent a recurring, and predictable, expense.

I propose that you package up that flotsam and jetsam and sell it off.

What am I thinking?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Inside Straight: Packaging Flotsam and Jetsam”

Last week, we asked our readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Earlier this week, you voted on the finalists. We should probably announce the winner before another George Mason Law student finances his education with “charitable” donations….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Winner: Money to Burn?”

* Now that DADT has been repealed, the Ninth Circuit has tossed the Log Cabin Republicans case. How does that Paula Abdul song go? Two steps forward, two steps back? [Los Angeles Times]

* Is this a new way of protecting taxpayers? In early 2012, Bank of America is going to start charging $5 a month for debit card purchases. Thanks Dodd-Frank, thanks a lot. [Wall Street Journal]

* Bob Morse of U.S. News wants to know if the ABA will “take more steps . . . to ensure data integrity” in light of the latest admissions data scandal. Aww, you’re so cute. [ABA Journal]

* The DOJ wants Raj Rajaratnam’s medical information, but they probably don’t need it. Just pick some of the usual fat people diseases, like diabetes and high blood pressure. [Bloomberg]

* If I only had a brain heart lower recidivism rate. A serial shoplifter is probably going to lose out on a heart transplant because her health insurance doesn’t cover inmates. [New York Daily News]

File this under the category of “better late than never.” Holland & Knight never adopted spring bonuses like other Biglaw firms. Why? Who knows. The firm didn’t want to play ball. Whatever.

Now the firm wants to put a little extra money into the pockets of Holland & Knight associates. Today, sources tell us that Holland & Knight announced it would be paying out a “fall” bonus. I guess it was a good summer at the firm.

But don’t get confused, this is supplemental money to the 2010 bonus, not an advance on the 2011 bonus. As we’ve already mentioned, firms are using 2011 revenue to pay for 2010 performance, so you really can’t count it against the 2011 bonus pool.

And Holland & Knight acknowledges that….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Holland & Knight Gives Out Fall Bonuses — Mainly Because They Didn’t Get the Memo Last Spring”

You can't get your Family Law syllabus until you fill this cup.

When enterprising Ben Seisler ran short on cash in law school, he didn’t get some boring old job at the library. The UVA graduate put his education to use, realizing that — like Dorothy and her ruby slippers — he had been sitting on top of a gold mine all along. Literally.

The gold mine, it turns out, was located in Ben’s pants. Ben “donated” his sperm to a local sperm bank for $150. Apparently he took this charity work very seriously, as he returned to the bank again during his three years studying at George Mason University School of Law.

And again, and again, and again, and again….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Paying For Law School, One Kid At A Time”

A doctor and a lawyer walk into a bar...

It can be said with certainty that the women’s rights movement in this country has resulted in many positive outcomes. We can vote (and drive, too; sorry, Saudi Arabia). We can go to college and professional schools. We can work just as hard as men and earn almost as much. Heck, we can even run for president. What could possibly be wrong with any of these things?

Supply and demand, that’s what.

As more and more women decided to pursue higher education and become members of learned professions like medicine and the law, professional schools had to figure out what to do with all of their new female applicants. Schools in both of these fields figured out solutions. Take a wild guess as to which profession botched the decision….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Here’s Another Thing You Can Blame Us Women For: Better Doctors, But More Lawyers”

Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this explosive photo:

For those of you who are just joining us, this photo was taken across the street from George Mason University School of Law. Let’s have a look at what our readers were able to come up with, and then vote on the finalists….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Finalists: Money to Burn?”

Drums please:

Bonus, bonus, bonus time. Time to sit back and unwind.

The first bit of bonus news has leaked out of Biglaw. We’re not talking about spring bonuses, and we’re not talking about random mid-year bonuses. We’re talking about regular, end-of-the-year, take-it-to-the-champagne-room bonuses.

And sure, the early news is bad, but that’s to be expected. This first report is just what Biglaw wants you to hear.

But if the past year in bonus news proves anything, it’s that Cravath sets the bonus market, even when they do it late….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Biglaw Starts To Manage Expectations About Bonuses”

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