New Jersey

Lawyers, please make sure your employees aren't making deals with clients to the effect of "get me off and we'll get you off."

What is the job market like for lawyers leaving government service? Here's one case study.

* Donald Trump has opinions on Supreme Court justices. He thinks that Roberts is “disgraceful,” that Scalia was “very tough” on black students, and that he loves Thomas. Perhaps he should take a cue from his favorite justice and shut up. [CNN; Associated Press]

* An easy peasy solution? Rather than amend the Constitution, Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio says that he’ll just appoint Supreme Court justices who will overturn the decision in the Obergefell case because he thinks that gay marriage is “bad law.” [ThinkProgress]

* Gibson Dunn has billed about $8 million to defend New Jersey Governor Chris Christie in the Bridgegate scandal thus far, so here’s a thought: perhaps you should show your hard-working associates some appreciation and announce bonuses already. [Fox News]

* Taylor Swift filed trademark applications for five signature phrases (Swiftmas, Blank Space, And I’ll Write Your Name, A Girl Named Girl, and 1989). If you infringe upon any of them, you can expect that she’ll be writing your name — on a lawsuit. [USA Today]

* Braeden Anderson, the Seton Hall law student and ball player who divides his time between the courtroom and the basketball court, has had one hell of a 1L year. When he graduates, this extremely lucky guy may have a job — with the NBA. [New York Times]

* Did 50 Cent’s lawyers spend too much of the bankrupt rapper’s money while representing him? With $123,455.92 in expenses, sex-tape plaintiff Lastonia Leviston says Fiddy’s lawyers from Brewer Attorneys & Counselors were partying like it was their birthday throughout trial. [New York Daily News]

* Roger Ailes, the chairman and CEO of Fox News, isn’t laughing at ABC’s news comedy called Fair and Balanced. Fox trademarked that slogan in 1997, and Ailes says ABC “wouldn’t know fair and balanced if it hit them in the ass with a fish.” [Adweek]

* Following in Dentons’ footsteps, yet another Biglaw firm has entered into a “strategic alliance” with a Chinese firm. McGuireWoods will create a referral network with FuJae Partners, but there’s no talk of a merger — yet. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* NJ Gov. Chris Christie says he’s been researching legal action he can take against Syrian refugees who have been placed in his state. He’s acknowledged it’s a federal issue, but this would-be president is going to try to oust them anyway. [NJ Advance Media]

* The Illinois Department of Corrections has been suing newly released inmates to recover the cost of their room and board while they were incarcerated. Lovely. This surely “raise[s] moral questions that legislators need to address.” [Chicago Tribune]

* Despite the fact that people seemed to have been losing their minds over court packing, according to Judge Sri Srinivasan of the D.C. Circuit, President Obama’s appointment of four new judges on the powerful court had little to no impact on the outcome of cases. [POLITICO]

* “Americans are actively being deprived of their rights.” In this excellent longread on arbitration, we learn it’s the best for big companies, but for plaintiffs who are forced into it, it amounts to the “privatization of the justice system.” [DealBook / New York Times]

* Uh oh! Disgraced plaintiffs’ lawyer Stan Chesley — perhaps better known as the “Master of Disaster” — had a warrant issued for his arrest last week after he failed to appear for a hearing related to his refusal to pay a $42 million judgment. [Louisville Courier Journal]

* Florida A&M University College of Law has a brand new dean. We’d like to wish a warm welcome to Angela Felecia Epps, whose salary of $252,000 is likely more than any of the school’s recent and barely employed graduates can hope to make. [Orlando Sentinel]

* A 30-year-old New Jersey man has been sentenced to a 16-year prison term for aggravated arson after the fires he set last year damaged a local law firm (one that was representing him at the time) and the county prosecutor’s office. [Associated Press]

Seventeen states are already using the UBE, and New Jersey may soon become the eighteenth state to adopt it.

Justice Alito shows his sense of humor.

The Third Circuit's recent decision may make you want to visit Jersey.

* “We’re going to the Jersey Shore, bitch!” This probably isn’t the kind of marketing that Jackson Lewis had in mind when the firm announced it was going to be opening an office north of Seaside Heights. Associates, you better get ready for some very serious GTB (gym, tan, billable hours). [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Kim Davis may be back to work at the Rowan County Clerk’s Office in Kentucky, but that doesn’t mean she’s done with her fight to not do her job. She’ll be suing Gov. Steve Beshear for failing to provide her with a religious accommodation. [Talking Points Memo]

* Some progress has been made in the infamous “dancing baby” case thanks to a recent Ninth Circuit decision. As it turns out, “copyright law does not authorize thoughtless censorship of lawful speech.” Prince would’ve wanted it this way. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Public interest problems: When you work in Biglaw, performing a high number of pro bono hours may keep you from “doing the amount or quality of billable that it takes to advance in the firm, because there’s only 24 hours in the day.” [Crain’s Chicago Business]

* Necrophilia is apparently still legal in several of our fine states, but a lawmaker in Massachusetts is trying to get a law on the books that would make sex with the dead illegal. It’s already illegal for Massholes to have sex with animals, so it’s only fair. [Metro]

* Baker & McKenzie was dethroned by DLA Piper as the the Biglaw king of gross revenue. The firm is blaming its poor performance — a 4.3 percent drop — on “currency fluctuations.” Better luck on snatching back glory next year. [Am Law Daily; Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* It’s hard out here for a pimp with an allegedly small peen: Terrence Howard’s divorce settlement was overturned by a judge after evidence was brought forward to suggest the actor was coerced into signing it. Apparently his ex was blackmailing him over the size of his manhood. [ABC News]

* There’s a new sheriff judge in town, and he’s cleaning up the Ferguson, Missouri, courts. His first order of business was to wipe out all arrest warrants issued before December 31, 2014, in the wake of the Michael Brown police shooting last August. [Reuters]

* Dean Philip Weiser of Colorado Law has announced that he’ll be stepping down from his position in July 2016. He’ll be remembered for keeping costs low and putting asses in seats during a time when it was difficult to do both concurrently. [Denver Business Journal]

* “On one level I give them kudos for playing hide the ball.” Gibson Dunn is fighting a subpoena issued by defense attorneys for computer metadata related to its Bridgegate report that cleared New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie of all wrongdoing. [Bergen Record]

* Earlier this week, President Barack Obama said that he’d issue an executive order to keep Jon Stewart on as the host of The Daily Show, despite his imminent retirement. POTUS joked that “[i]t’s being challenged in the courts.” [Newsweek]

* Check out this hot mess from New Jersey: An employee in the Cumberland County Prosecutor’s Office was allegedly demoted from office administrator to legal secretary after making comments about a prosecutor’s adult purchases made during a visit to a sex toy shop. [Press of Atlantic City]

* Dentons just snagged a heavy hitter in its Chicago office, where Roderick “Rick” Palmore, formerly general counsel to corporate giant General Mills, will serve as senior counsel. This hire will surely give the firm some “additional street cred.” [Crain’s Chicago Business]

* Uh oh! According to the latest Managing Partner Confidence Index report from Citi Private Bank’s Law Firm Group, Biglaw higher-ups are only “moderately” confident about their financial prospects for the second quarter. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* If you’ve been searching for ways to improve your already strong law school application, then boy, do we have some tips for you. You can start by being even more gunnery — take the LSAT again, and get your GPA even higher. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Because sometimes the application of the law seems like an indecent proposal: Demi Moore is “in absolute shock” because she may be facing a lawsuit for negligent supervision due to a pool drowning that occurred at her home while she was out of the country. [Fox News]

* “The bow tie is a manifestation of my unwillingness to become part of the rabble.” Male lawyers face harsh criticism about their fashion choices, too, and these New Jersey attorneys will wear their bow ties with pride, no matter what. [Bergen Record]

* In a recent interview, Justice Alito critiqued his SCOTUS colleagues for adopting a seemingly limitless interpretation of the 14th Amendment: “I don’t know what the limits of substantive liberty protection under the 14th Amendment are at this point.” [Legal Times]

* If you’d like to be a federal appellate judge by the age of 35, then Judge Alex Kozinski of the Ninth Circuit has some advice for you. First and foremost, know where to “peddle your wares” — get a job in Washington, D.C., ASAP. [Concurring Opinions via ABA Journal]

* Managing partners, repeat this mantra: Don’t do a Dewey! Thanks to the D&L financial disaster, Biglaw firms have decided to cut back on or ditch bank loans completely and get by with a little help from their friends partners in times of need. [Wall Street Journal]

This is turning out to be a cruel, cruel summer for law firms.

Be careful before you post your "hot take" online...

That crybaby lawyer suing for benefits because a mean partner yelled at her overlooks an important point: her boss was totally right to yell at her.

You can't quit your job just because a partner embarrassed you and expect to be paid for it.

* “He said what he wanted people to hear and he didn’t fully answer questions.” St. Louis County Prosecutor Bob McCulloch of Ferguson infamy spoke at Missouri Law yesterday. We understand there was some sort of an “incident” with the SBA as well. We may have more on this later. [KBIA]

* “Don’t panic; you’re bound to get something eventually.” California had some of the worst employment statistics for law graduates after the recession. If you’re a member of the Lost Generation, these stories may resonate with you. [California Lawyer]

* New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez was federally indicted on corruption charges yesterday for allegedly accepting more than $1 million worth of gifts and campaign contributions in exchange for political favors. Way to do Jersey lawyers proud. [AP]

* Jury selection begins on April 27 for the criminal trial against the former members of Dewey & LeBoeuf’s top brass. The prosecution dropped three counts, but Joel Sanders and the Steves must still defend themselves against 100 others. Yikes! [New York Law Journal]

* Gordon Smith, one of the writers for Better Call Saul, doesn’t think the show’s portrayal of lawyer life will inspire young people to “run out to become attorneys.” After all, Jimmy McGill’s home and office haven’t exactly been depicted as “glamorous.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* It looks like some pretty big changes are going to be coming down the pipeline at Washington & Lee University School of Law. From faculty and staff layoffs to payouts from its endowment, this generally doesn’t look pretty. We’ll have more on this news later today. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* The 87th Academy Awards ceremony is this weekend, and you know what that means: IP lawyers are doing their damndest to protect the Oscars brand. Can you imagine the sheer number of cease and desist letters that have been going out? [National Law Journal]

* Congratulations to Marci Eisenstein, who was recently elected to become the first woman to serve as managing partner of Schiff Hardin in the firm’s 150-year history. FYI, the firm’s most recent partner classes have been 2/3 women for the past three years. [Am Law Daily]

* New Jersey Governor and would-be Republican presidential candidate Chris Christie made five firms really happy in 2014 thanks to all of the legal work he handed to them. Gibson Dunn, for example, earned $7.9 million from the Bridgegate affair. [Courier-Post]

* Which state will be the next to legalize recreational marijuana? It may be Vermont, where Senate Bill 95 would allow those 21 and older to possess, use, and sell pot. Just think, you can save the environment and get high while you do it! [Huffington Post]

Who do you think is telling the truth, the tenured judge, or his allegedly "disgruntled law clerk"?

* Nothing is f*cked here, Judge: With first-class flights, alcoholic beverages, and hotel movies already nixed, lawyers who worked on the City of Detroit’s municipal bankruptcy case are now being forced to defend their multi-million dollar billables. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “It’s important to have different perspectives in Congress. It really adds a lot to the mix.” That said, which law schools are the best at producing lawmakers? You may be surprised by some of the schools that made the list. [National Law Journal]

* “Going to law school is still a great option,” says the dean of the University of Arizona James E. Rogers College of Law, a school whose 25th percentile LSAT scores dropped by six points year over year. Toss UA Law a pity application. [Daily Wildcat]

* Per the defense in the Aurora movie theater massacre case, the prosecutor’s “insistence upon the death penalty certainly seems politically motivated” — that, or maybe James Holmes deserves the death penalty for killing 12 people. [ABA Journal]

* By now, everyone’s heard of the woman who’s planning to “marry” her biological father and move to New Jersey. Believe it or not, incestual adult relationships are actually legal in the Garden State thanks to a legislative screw-up. [NJ Advance Media]