Old People

Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this picture:

On Friday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our contest…

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Today has been quite the roller coaster. Layoffs here, layoffs there, rescinded offers everywhere. It certainly looks like the legal profession has a case of the Mondays.

To cap off this day of negative news, we’ve got word of yet another law school that’s offering buyouts to its tenured faculty. Yes, tenured faculty, oh my.

Which law school put this offer on the table, and how many professors are expected to take it?

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Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this picture (click to enlarge):

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and vote on the finalists…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Finalists: Seriously, What The Hell Are These Lawyers Wearing?!”

This would have been more appropriate.

We’ve been focusing on what women wear for legal appearances for quite some time, but now we’re going to give the men a chance. Previously, we’d said that men were “basically given a free pass, so long as they don’t show up … looking like they just rolled out of a dumpster.”

Today, we’re going to slightly modify that statement. We’ll now note that men are given a free pass, so long as they don’t show up looking like they’ve just strolled out of a 1940s gangster flick wearing pork pie hats and blue velvet suits.

Coming to you straight from the multimillion dollar lawsuit over strippers gyrating for confused old people comes a legal team with some flair.

Go ahead and file this one under: What Not To Wear…

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* A Minnesota court ruled that it is not a crime to encourage people to commit suicide. So… keep commenting assholes, just know that you’ll feel really bad if I do it. [Gawker]

* I might be in the market for a used car, and I’m hoping to get a really good deal on one of these “recalled” GMs. I hope the DOJ doesn’t screw up my plans. [Reuters Legal]

* Speaking of cars, Alan Dershowitz calls for vigorous prosecution of reckless drivers. I call for vigorous prosecution of any box-blocking suburbanite who drives around Manhattan on a Saturday like they’re cruising to the country fair. [ABA Journal]

* Alabama thinks that people over 70 should be excused from jury duty. YES, they deserve to be excused and I hope they burn in Hell! [WSJ Law Blog]

* Narc is the new tattletale. [Simple Justice]

* Are you an IP lawyer, especially a patent litigator? Here’s a symposium you should consider attending (featuring ATL columnist Gaston Kroub). [Markman Advisors]

* Speaking of conferences, who wants to hang out with Lat in Las Vegas? Read on for details (plus video)….

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Too old to teach law?

Another day, another law school administrator talking out of both sides of his mouth. Sure, his law school is reducing its faculty numbers because there isn’t enough tuition money to pay their salaries, but everything is going to be fine. According to this dean, “I think the market is coming back and we are stabilizing. I think the future looks bright for us.”

Which law school is politely pushing its older faculty members out the door this time?

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Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg should retire from the Supreme Court after the completion of the current term in June. She turned 81 on Saturday and by all accounts she is healthy and physically and mentally able to continue. But only by resigning this summer can she ensure that a Democratic president will be able to choose a successor who shares her views and values.

– Dean Erwin Chemerinsky, calling for Justice Ginsburg to hang up her robe, in an op-ed for the Los Angeles Times. Chemerinsky also suggested that Justice Stephen Breyer “carefully consider” the possibility of stepping down.

Stephanie Adams: this Playmate knows the law.

* We’re not sure that the best way to convince the Supreme Court to allow television broadcast coverage of its proceedings is to air commercials on news channels. Even SCOTUS justices fast forward during the commercials. [Legal Times]

* Old farts just wanna have fun: Retired Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens told reporters about a wild night out with the late Justice William Brennan that involved Ginger Rogers and pants that were too big. [National Law Journal]

* When “the only way to be successful [as a first-year associate] is to go into the role expecting to be treated poorly,” it’s no wonder that Biglaw firms continue to fail their women lawyers. [Washington Post]

* Just because you work at a small, boutique, or mid-size firm, it doesn’t mean your bonus bounty will be less than that of your Biglaw brethren. You could actually earn much, much more. [New York Law Journal]

* Yes, you can be fired for being “too cute.” No, it’s not gender discrimination. Sorry, beauties, but being a hottie isn’t protected a characteristic under Title VII, says this Playboy Playmate. [Corporate Counsel]

Remember Adriana Ferreyr? She’s the 30-year-old Brazilian telenovela star who’s suing octogenarian moneybags George Soros because he didn’t buy her a $1.9 million apartment (or a $4.3 million apartment; the nerve of that old codger). When we last checked in on her, she was busy hiring Davis Polk alum William Beslow to fling legal arguments at the geriatric gigolo almost thrice her age she once banged, presumably hoping to make billions.

Ferreyr’s adventures in gold-digging continue this month with claims of her wild and crazy antics at a recent deposition in New York. She may only be known as a Hoveround ho in this country, but that doesn’t mean she’s not going to act like a diva.

Adriana Ferreyr doesn’t care if you’re a legal legend of the bar. She’ll still slap the glasses right off your stupid face…

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For your information, in case you’re not familiar with my process, I take copious notes during the testimony of each witness, and I would like to place into the record my personal notes of what happened that afternoon to reflect that I was not asleep.

I want to put this in the record as a Court exhibit to indicate what I was doing that afternoon. It was not sleeping. I was not sleeping.

– Senior Judge Ellen Bree Burns of the District of Connecticut, a nonagenarian, speaking in her own defense during an ongoing federal drug trial after members of the defendants’ families accused her of sleeping on the bench.

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