* Lawyer grabbing drinks in hotel bar accused of being a prostitute by security guards. In fairness, she probably said, “I bill out at $600/hour!” a little too loudly. [The Root]
* In finance, interns are only there for sex. Probably not how the law will see it. [Dealbreaker]
* Judge Kozinski found his way into another Atlas Shrugged movie. The true accomplishment of the mega-industrialists is funding two sequels of the first putridly reviewed movie. [Josh Blackman's Blog]
* Are you sick and tired of reading about the 10 books that your Facebook friends think will most impress you most influenced them? Here’s a much better question: the 10 Rock Songs that most influenced you… [What About Clients?]
* Meant to write this up as a full post yesterday, but time got away from us. In any event, Geuaxjudge is Geauxone. Judge Michael Maggio, best known for launching racist and sexist comments about Charlize Theron’s adoption, has been fired by order of the Arkansas Supreme Court. [CNN]
* Following up on this afternoon’s piece about lawyering from home, maybe one overlooked factor is meeting your clients, at least once, in an office. [Law and More]
* This Friday, the CBLA and the Fordham IP Institute are hosting a visiting high-level legal delegation from China, including multiple judges from the Supreme Court of the PRC, multiple members of the Ministry of Commerce. If you’re interested, RSVP. [Chinese Business Lawyers Association]
Are you sure that you know the difference between a prostitute and a stripper? Trust me, I thought I did too. A prostitute leaves after you have sex. A stripper makes you leave before you have sex. The distinction is entirely fourth dimensional.
But the Black’s Law Dictionary definition of a prostitute is incredibly… loose. They define it as “A woman who indiscriminately consorts with men for hire. Carpenter v. People, 8 Barb. (N. Y.) 611; State v. Stoyell, 54 Me. 24, 89 Am. Dec. 716.”
First of all, that’s sexist. Men can be prostitutes too… what, you think there is something Nic Cage would not do for money? More importantly, people indiscriminately consorting for hire describes pretty much every lawyer in America.
Upon reflection, maybe Black’s Law is spot on there. But the confusion actually makes me a little more sympathetic to this area man who called 9-1-1 on a stripper who didn’t have sex with him…
* Suit filed questioning the parentage of Blue Ivy Carter. Plaintiff claims to be the real… mother? Hm. You’d think that would be pretty easy for everyone to remember. [International Business Times]
* The Washington D.C.-area NFL team has filed suit to get its trademark back. They think the USPTO are Indian Givers. [DCist]
* The ACLU is asking courts to define “freedom of the press” in the wake of Ferguson. I understand their impulse, I just don’t think they’re gonna like the answer. [Fox2Now]
* A 71-year-old lawyer allegedly called two escorts over to his house and they asked for more money. Even for rich lawyers it’s the principle of the thing. [South Florida Lawyers]
* Sad to see Professor Larry Tribe join the “let’s blame the teachers instead of funding public schools” parade. But now that he’s become a high-profile supporter of ending tenure for those teaching the young, perhaps he’ll renounce his own tenure. Or at least fight to revoke it from all his colleagues. [National Law Journal]
* A Colombian lawyer is suing FIFA for $1.3 billion over bad officiating. Of all the things FIFA deserves to get sued over, this isn’t making the list. [Washington Post]
* Congratulations to Rob Manfred, a Harvard Law grad formerly of Morgan Lewis, on his promotion to MLB Commissioner. He will continue the proud tradition of keeping us bored all summer long while we wait for football to come back. [New York Times]
* New lawsuit says Google kept records of plans to infringe intellectual property… on Post-Its. Unwise. Office supplies are for back-to-school shopping, not writing down wrongful acts. [Valleywag]
* If you’re a current 3L or a law grad about to come off a clerkship, NOAA has a job opportunity for you. Imagine how exciting it will be when the next Sharknado happens! [USAJobs via NOAA]
§ 18.2-346. Prostitution; commercial sexual conduct; commercial exploitation of a minor; penalties.
A. Any person who, for money or its equivalent, (i) commits adultery, fornication, or any act in violation of § 18.2-361, performs cunnilingus, fellatio, or anilingus upon or by another person, or engages in anal intercourse or (ii) offers to commit adultery, fornication, or any act in violation of § 18.2-361, perform cunnilingus, fellatio, or anilingus upon or by another person, or engage in anal intercourse and thereafter does any substantial act in furtherance thereof is guilty of prostitution, which is punishable as a Class 1 misdemeanor.
If you think that fully covers all reasonable definitions of “prostitution,” well then you probably have an uncreative mind and a boring sex life. Look, the law gets even more vague further down:
On Monday, we noted the surprising news of a young partner leaving Wachtell Lipton to start his own boutique firm. Given the rarity of partner departures from the super-lucrative Wachtell, my colleague Staci Zaretsky described the news as “basically like seeing a unicorn.”
Why did Jeremy Goldstein, a 40-year-old partner in the firm’s executive-compensation practice, leave WLRK? The American Lawyer piece about Goldstein’s move painted a happy picture of a lawyer striking out on his own to be more entrepreneurial and to run his own business.
But we wonder if there’s more to this story than meets the eye….
This is the future. You need to titillate both ends, if you catch my drift. Don’t put the economic imperative right in my face. It’s all about the je ne sais quoi.
– a 61-year-old derivatives lawyer from Manhattan, gushing about Bliss Bistro, an underground, invite-only strip club/brothel. The cover charge is $40, and it costs $200 for 20 minutes to rent a private area, plus whatever the women charge for their “services.” One woman recently charged $400 for oral sex.
With profits per partner soaring at some Biglaw firms, partners need to find ways to spend all of their money. Some like fine wine, but others prefer fine women — and that’s usually where all the trouble begins.
Case in point: one prominent partner recently found himself involved in some shady police activity after a woman who claimed she was owed money for “services” was arrested at his home with drugs stashed in her nether regions.
This partner’s bio has since been removed from the law firm’s website. Who is he, which firm does he work for, and what allegedly happened?
In case you’re not aware, law school costs a lot of money. Just one year of legal education can run the average law student more than $50,000. Many, if not most, law students take out loans to cover the costs of law school, but some are lucky enough to have their educations paid for in full by their parents. The students in the latter group are beholden to their parents and can’t run the risk of making them angry, for fear of getting cut off financially.
Of course, today’s incredible tale deals with a law student in her 20s who pissed her parents off so badly that they refused to continue paying for her prestigious law school tuition. This girl did what any law student with cash flow problems would’ve done: she became a prostitute.
This law student cum lady of the night came across some choice clientele, as one of her top johns, a man in his late 60s, was a lawyer at a prominent firm. You can guess what happened next: the lawyerly lovers created a sex contract, and the relationship quickly soured. As it turns out, notwithstanding Fifty Shades of Grey (affiliate link), sex isn’t quite so sexy when it’s wrapped in a condom of legal terms.
The pair ended up suing each other, and now we’ve got a juicy judgment for you to feast your eyes upon…
* Judge sentences rapist to 45-days and community service… working in a rape crisis center. Because the victim was “promiscuous.” How could anyone be this tone-deaf? Oh, it’s in Texas? Never mind. [CNN]
* California lawyers now must promise to be courteous. Play nice, kids. [LA Times]
* Finally, it’s time to wish a happy birthday to Winston & Strawn’s Jonathan Amoona, who was on the 2014 Forbes 30 Under 30 list. I guess he won’t be anymore. His 30th birthday invitation went out to the managing partner and a bunch of the top rainmakers, which isn’t toolish at all. The invite is available after the jump….
If you’re feeling the pinch of student debt, at least you can comfort yourself in knowing that your money contributed not only to the professional education of innumerable future contract attorneys, but to the overall advancement of legal scholarship. The academy requires those tuition dollars to keep law professors researching and writing for the betterment of all.
And then handing it over to a bunch of apple-polishing 3Ls to validate and publish.
So the next time you get your tuition or student loan bill, ask yourself if funding research on the nature of sexbots is worth it….
OmniVere’s delivery of end-to-end technology & data consulting to position the company as a true differentiator in the global legal technology and compliance space.
CHICAGO, IL, September 29, 2014 – OmniVere today announced the creation of the company’s technology & data consulting arm and the addition of several industry-renown experts, including the former co-chairs of Berkeley Research Group’s (BRG’s) Technology Services practice, Liam Ferguson, Rich Finkelman and Courtney Fletcher.
This new consulting practice will provide and expand existing OmniVere eDiscovery consulting services to corporations, law firms and government agencies with a special focus on compliance, information governance and eDiscovery. This addition of this top talent now positions OmniVere as a true industry leader in the technology and data consulting space offering best-in-class end-to-end services.
Ferguson, Finkelman & Fletcher are nationally recognized experts and seasoned veterans in the areas of overall technology, electronic discovery, and structured data. At OmniVere, the team will be focused on all global consulting activities with respect to legal compliance, complex data analytics, business intelligence design and analysis, and electronic discovery service offerings.
The Trust Women conference is an influential gathering that brings together global corporations, lawyers and pioneers in the field of women’s rights. Unlike many other events, Trust Women delegates take action and forge tangible commitments to empower women to know and defend their rights.
This year, the Trust Women conference will take place 18-19 November in London. From women’s economic empowerment to slavery in the supply chain and child labour, this year’s agenda is strong and powerful. Speakers include Professor Muhammad Yunus, Nobel Laureate and founder of the Grameen Bank; Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, Executive Director of UN Women; Mary Ellen Iskenderian, President and CEO of Women’s World Banking and many other influential leaders. Find out more about Trust Women here.