Quote of the Day

[T]he statement that “[Thomas M. Cooley Law School] grossly inflates its graduates’ reported mean salaries” may not merely be protected hyperbole, but actually substantially true.

– Judge Robert J. Jonker, in an opinion granting summary judgment to the defendants in Cooley Law’s defamation suit against disbanded firm Kurzon Strauss and Jesse Strauss and David Anziska, the original law school litigation dream team. Jonker goes on to cite MacDonald v. Cooley Law, in which the court declared the average starting salary listed in the school’s 2010 Employment Report to be “objectively untrue.”

(Keep reading if you’d like to see Judge Jonker’s eminently quotable opinion.)

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If the “provider” is no longer able to provide the unlimited credit card spending at Prada, Chanel, Gucci and Hermès, the deal has changed. A new deal must be negotiated.

Laura Wasser, a divorce attorney to the stars whose clients have included Kim Kardashian, Maria Shriver, and Britney Spears, discussing just one of the ways that marriage is a contract. Her new book, It Doesn’t Have to Be That Way (affiliate link), is meant to serve as a guide for getting divorced in a civilized manner.

I think that if they really wanted to do this, [the Technology Oversight Group should have said,] “We’ll buy you guys an iPad. . . . It’s less than my billable rate for one hour.”

– An anonymous associate commenting on King & Spalding’s policy of blocking access to personal email accounts on firm computers, which has now been in effect for several months. The firm ranked 125th out of 134 Biglaw firms in the latest American Lawyer Associate Tech Survey, part of the magazine’s midlevel survey measuring associate satisfaction.

One lawyer had pictures of his staff with skirts too short. He kindly removed them when we asked.

Kathy Bible, advertising counsel for the Florida Bar, in comments made about the Sunshine State’s crackdown on lawyer advertising via social media platforms, including “inappropriate” Facebook photos.

I’ve liked working in law and am taking the LSAT next month despite law school being mostly a really poor decision (especially for someone like me who doesn’t like debt).

– Meghan, a young American woman working at a boutique law firm in Istanbul, Turkey, discussing her plans for the future in an interview with Mike Dang of The Billfold. Meghan claims that if she doesn’t perform well on the LSAT, she won’t apply to law school.

‘The layoff train’s gonna derail Biglaw!’

I’m surprised that anybody’s surprised. You’re going to continue to see it as firms look [to save money] in a slow-growth or no-growth economy. By far and away the biggest savings area is people.

Thomas S. Clay, a principal with Altman Weil, explaining that additional staff layoffs will soon be coming down the pipeline at Biglaw firms nationwide, specifically because nonlawyer staff salaries represent about 40 percent of a firm’s expenses.

My professor is rich. I’m not.

– a response submitted after Professor Lisa Mazzie of Marquette Law tasked her students with coming up with a six-word story to describe law school.

(Readers, are you up to the challenge? Give us your own six-word stories about law school in the comments.)

I was raised to never hit a girl. I was raised at a time when you had no concept of a girl doing that. In the 1950s, girls didn’t snatch purses. They wore petticoats.

Jonathan Damon, a Michigan lawyer, in remarks made after subduing Mikayla Danielle Hull, an alleged purse snatcher. During the course of the struggle, thinking that Hull was a man, Damon punched her in the face repeatedly after she bit his wrist, breaking the skin. Damon will not be charged for hitting Hull.

(Want to see the video of this lawyer’s heroics? We’ve got it, after the jump.)

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You are fortunate to have your misfortunes.

– Justice Clarence Thomas, in a conversation with Dakota Garza, a young woman who was once homeless, after she asked him to eat a meal with her on a dare. Thomas later helped Garza secure enough scholarship money to cover the entire cost of her college tuition at the University of Portland.

[T]here is nothing about the current market that suggests starting associate salaries will be moving up any time soon.

James Leipold, executive director of the National Association for Law Placement (NALP), crushing the hopes and dreams of future Biglaw associates across the nation. Salaries for entry-level attorneys have been “essentially flat” since 2007 (although median pay rose to $160,000 once again after slipping to $145,000 last year).

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