Quote of the Day

Mr. T

I pity the criminals today.

Lawrence Tureaud, better known as Mr. T, in comments made outside the Third Municipal District Courthouse in Rolling Meadows, Illinois, where he’d been called for jury duty.

(Keep reading to find out how dedicated Mr. T is to performing his civic duty, and for some entertaining video coverage from his jury duty stint.)

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The Riling family

I cannot believe how, just how generous and nice that was because you don’t see that very much anymore. Most people don’t take the time of day to do very much for anybody else, especially a stranger.

Sunny Riling, a Florida mom whose family recovered their lost camera containing treasured photos — with the help of a Biglaw partner.

(Read on to find out how….)

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In the class that Florida Coastal admitted in 2013, more than half the students were unlikely to ever pass the bar.

– Professor Paul Campos of Colorado Law, in a feature essay published by The Atlantic about the dangers of attending for-profit law schools like those owned by InfiLaw — namely Florida Coastal School of Law, Arizona Summit Law School, and Charlotte School of Law.

(Remember when a dean candidate was thrown out of Florida Coastal because he suggested the school was doing a disservice to its students? We’ve got his name. If you’re interested, keep reading to find out who he is.)

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Even if what Stanley D. Rauls says to a potential witness is technically correct, somehow, the defense submits, as a result of the communication, the witness or their agent comes away unreasonably afraid. That’s the “poopyhead” part defense counsel really can’t countenance.

– Sharon Kiel, a former deputy public defender in Arkansas who showed a little personality in chastising a lawyer that she felt was intimidating a witness. She even worked emoji into her filing. Hawg Law Blawg, which recently brought us the dog-piss RFAs, uncovered this gem of yesteryear. It’s a tad unorthodox, but if you’ve got a friendly judge, why not break up the tedium of their day by giving them something fun to read?

I can’t figure out those tones for the life of me. Maybe those women are trying to make some kind of sexual statement—something kinky.

– A senior counsel at a Fortune 100 company, commenting on the nail polish colors — like greens, blues, and purples — that women lawyers have been wearing to work lately.

Jim Marchese

I don’t fight. I think it’s stupid. I’m trained as an attorney. If I want to hurt you, I’m going to sue you. I’m going to leverage your house. I’m gonna give you three years of hell in a courtroom. I’m going to bleed dry you financially, and I’m going to humiliate you as I depose you for eight hours and make you my bitch.

Jim Marchese, husband to Amber Marchese (one of the newest cast members of the Real Housewives of New Jersey), explaining why he chose to avoid a fight with Joe Gorga, another Real Housewives husband, on the latest episode.

(Marchese is a graduate of Seton Hall Law and was a whistleblower in the Cell Therapeutics case, which earned him $1.6 million. Marchese recently claimed to be involved in the bankruptcy fraud prosecution of Joe and Teresa Giudice, but a spokesperson for the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of New Jersey said “[n]o one involved with the prosecution has any idea who that man is.”)

Laura Puleo

Because I really enjoy a good mental workout. After graduating from Duke with a degree in ancient Latin and Greek, I figured that my best option for a mentally stimulating career was either academia or law. Law seemed like the more practical choice.

Laura Puleo, a rising third-year student at Washington and Lee Law, commenting on why she chose to go to law school during a time when legal education was in upheaval. Puleo is a contestant in the upcoming Miss Virginia pageant, and you can support her in her race for the crown here.

For some reason, very few law firms are prepared to deal with the headcount issues. It is interesting because the reaction from them also is peculiar. I think it was reported—I don’t know, maybe 12 months ago—that Weil Gotshal had a significant layoff of lawyers. They reduced—I think it was their associates, but maybe it was of counsel as well—and there was quite a negative reaction in the press to that.

I am not privy to any of their numbers or anything that is going on in the firm, but, as a restructuring person, my reaction is, “Look, this is someone getting their house in order. This is an appropriate thing to do.” It is no secret that revenues across the industry are down. And, so, you either need to take market share, or you need to right size your organization.

Joff Mitchell of Zolfo Cooper, during an interview with David J. Parnell of Forbes, speaking about how layoffs are frowned upon in Biglaw.

(For the record, Weil laid off 60 associates — about 7 percent of its associate ranks — and 110 staff members, about half of whom were legal secretaries.)

If the monkey took it, it owns copyright, not me, that’s their basic argument. What they don’t realise is that it needs a court to decide that.

– David Slater, a British nature photographer embroiled in a conflict with Wikimedia over the copyright to photos taken by a female macaque monkey who stole Slater’s camera in 2011 and used it take a selfie. Tween girls, amiright? Anyway, Wikimedia considers the picture royalty-free because the author of the work is, in fact, a monkey, and until Caesar’s revolution she isn’t likely to look to enforce her right. Slater argues that he owns the copyright since it was his camera. As for the title, okay you caught me — the monkey didn’t put her selfie up on any dating sites, but did post to Instagram with the message “New camera! #fecesthrowing #blessed.”

Jodi Arias

I do not believe it is in your best interest … I strongly urge you to reconsider.

– Judge Sherry Stephens, shortly before she granted Jodi Arias’s request to represent herself during the second penalty phase of her murder trial. In April 2013, Arias was convicted of murdering her ex-boyfriend.

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