Securities and Exchange Commission
* This guy could teach a master class in how to stand by your (wo)man. Mary Jo White’s husband, John White, will relinquish his equity partner status at Cravath upon her confirmation as the head of the Securities and Exchange Commission. [Am Law Daily]
* Macho, macho man: it looks like we’ll never know if Dechert actually has a “macho culture,” because the FMLA and paternity leave case that questioned the very existence of this Biglaw subculture was settled out of court. [National Law Journal]
* Why you gotta go and ruin Valentine’s Day for everyone at O’Melveny and Akin Gump? Apple’s request to speed up the Greenlight Capital case was approved, with arguments now scheduled for February 19. [CNET]
* Despite her nomination being crapped on by the Senate, Jenny Rivera, the CUNY School of Law professor, was recently confirmed as an associate judge of the New York Court of Appeals. [New York Law Journal]
* Remember the lawyer who sued Westlaw and Lexis for copyright infringement? Judge Jef Rakoff dismissed it for reasons yet to be disclosed, but probably for legal dumbassery. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* “Behold, the instrument of your liberation!” Survivors of the Aurora movie massacre are being harassed by conspiracy theorists, and the DA asked the judge to scrub their names from the record. [Courthouse News]
One of our key law firm clients has referred us to one of their important clients in the US, Europe and China – a leading global technology supplier for the auto industry – in order to handle their search for a new Asia General Counsel and Asia Chief Compliance Officer. Kinney is exclusively handling this in-house search.
* There’s an interesting take here by Scott Greenfield on Glenn Reynolds’s op-ed suggesting there be a “waiting period” before new legislation to try to make sure everybody at least reads it first. Personally, I’m a little more concerned with getting longer waiting periods before people can buy guns and shoot me. [Simple Justice]
* Funny to see Lindsay Lohan as the plaintiff, instead of the defendant. [Los Angeles Times]
* When reached for comment about the weakness in the U.S. legal job market, clients responded, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” [Associate’s Mind]
* And now we’re back to the argument that allowing non-lawyer ownership of law firms will magically give clients a better experience. Yes, because whenever I’m on hold with Time Warner, I think, “Man, these business people sure get customer service.” [The Economist]
* R.I.P. Mark Hummels. [Huffington Post]
* It feels like it’s been a while since we made fun of Oklahoma. [Legal Juice]
* After the jump, Bloomberg has a fun video on whether Wall Street should fear Mary Jo White….
* Wait, auditors agree that auditor letters are pretty much a waste of time, but they still want them anyway? As I learned in Civ: “The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency.” [Going Concern]
* Yes, the legal world is still buzzing because one of the nine most powerful people in America deigned to utter a few words in court. I hope Thomas appreciates that his obituary is going to prominently include references to his confirmation hearings and his well documented muteness. [ZombieLaw]
* This Die Hard director picked a bad day to try hard to stay out of jail. [The Hollywood Reporter]
* You know, there are laws against firing pregnant people. [Pregnant and Fired]
* Bottom line, I don’t want to be on the side of praising SEC enforcement actions. [National Law Journal]
* I hope Obama is well armed, because the only thing that stops a politician in the pocket of the gun lobby are the people holding their votes to the heads of their Congressmen. [Blog Briefing Room / The Hill]
* Same-sex marriage should be legal because gay people should be allowed to save money too. [The Atlantic]
The SEC is probing Netflix for posting company milestones on Facebook. Calling Facebook a non-public forum sounds crazy, it’s just one more instance of the SEC failing to grasp modern technology.
If you’re smart enough to get a job at Cravath, you should be smart enough to keep client confidences, right?
Alston & Bird, Biglaw, Blogging, Bloomberg, David Boies, Health Care / Medicine, Law Schools, Mergers and Acquisitions, Money, Non-Sequiturs, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, SCOTUS, Securities and Exchange Commission, Securities Law, Supreme Court, Ted Olson
* As soon as Mary Schapiro announced she was stepping down as chairwoman of the SEC, Obama nominated another woman to take her place. Congrats to SEC Commissioner Elisse Walter! [WSJ Law Blog]
* In other breaking news that no one will care about now that bonus season is upon us, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg swapped out her neck doily for a blingy necklace from Glamour. [Josh Blackman’s Blog]
* You know what the ancient Romans would’ve hated more than watching the fall of the Roman empire? The Citizens United decision. Cato, Cicero, and Julius Caesar wouldn’t have been impressed with this. [Slate]
* Why go to law school if you’re already doing well financially? Perhaps you’re just another prestige hunter. If you are, then all the better for you, because that seems to be what all of the law schools are selling these days. [Inside the Law School Scam]
* Don’t cry for Argentina: they may be in the middle of a billion-dollar bond dispute, but the uber-prestigious lawyers on either side of the case (Boies; Olson) are enough to make you forget about their troubles. [Reuters]
* A Biglaw attorney from Alston & Bird with a rare sleep disorder confronts Big Pharma and… doesn’t win. At least not yet. But on the bright side, she’s not sleeping for 18 hours anymore. [The Last Word on Nothing]
* We’re honored to announce that Above the Law was named as one of the ten law blogs in the ABA Journal’s inaugural Blawg 100 Hall of Fame. Please click here if you’d like to help us win again this year. [ABA Journal]
* After the jump, Bloomberg Law’s Lee Pacchia speaks with a Bill Lawlor, a Dechert partner, who claims that “hope springs eternal for M&A attorneys.” Will the mergers and acquisitions market begin to boom once again?
* Should attractive women in the legal profession be offended when complimented on their appearance? Or should they instead engage in “the strategic use of their own sexuality,” to quote the New York Times (citing a federal judge)? [Shatter the Glass Ceiling]
* Speaking of attractive women lawyers, what do people think of when they think of Megyn Kelly? [New York Magazine]
* MOAR RANKINGS — this time of the most influential law reviews. Yeah, you know you wanna click. [Witnesseth via Tax Prof Blog]
* Everything’s bigger in Texas — including the allegations of prosecutorial misconduct. [Dallas Morning News]
* In other news of alleged government misconduct, a former member of the SEC’s inspector general’s office claims that the place was rife with sexual tension and professional backstabbing. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* Might a strip club be a more hospitable workplace than the SEC? Strippers just secured a $13 million settlement in a wage-and-hour class action lawsuit. [In House / Findlaw]
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* George Washington University has been stripped of its U.S. News college ranking. The law school appears safe. [Tax Prof Blog]
* Now students can get in trouble for bullying their teachers. Teachers, people! TEACHERS CAN’T STAND UP TO THE MEAN SCHOOL KIDS WITHOUT A LAWSUIT. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Just to be clear, Antonin Scalia would not be on the side of the secessionists. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]
* So the accuser of Kevin Clash, voice of Elmo, recanted and said that he was a consenting adult when he was with Clash. It’s great to know that Elmo is getting barely legal ass. [Huffington Post]
* FCPA! Guidance! This is WAY MORE INTERESTING than Petraeus and the Kelley sisters. [WSJ Law Blog]
* For those of you who saw Capturing the Friedmans, here’s an update on the ongoing proceedings. [WiseLawNY]
Hurricane Sandy may bring out scammers looking to take advantage of people suffering through the disaster. Watch out!
What did the Second Circuit have to say about Judge Jed Rakoff’s rejection of the SEC’s settlement with Citigroup? Let’s say they’re not huge fans of his legal analysis.
Biglaw, California, Divorce Train Wrecks, Election 2012, Food, Hotties, Jed Rakoff, Morning Docket, Old People, Pornography, Pregnancy / Paternity, Securities and Exchange Commission, Technology, Women's Issues
* Rick Perry’s motion for a temporary restraining order over the printing of Virginia’s primary ballots without his name on them has been denied. Damn all of those unelected, activist judges! [Bloomberg] * Jed Rakoff isn’t the only one with cojones big enough to challenge the SEC. Wisconsin Judge Rudolph Randa fell right in line, […]
2nd Circuit, Biglaw, Divorce Train Wrecks, Holidays and Seasons, Jed Rakoff, Morning Docket, Nude Dancing, SCOTUS, Securities and Exchange Commission, Social Networking Websites, Supreme Court, Twittering, Women's Issues
* How many of these suggested New Year’s resolutions should the members of the Supreme Court consider following? Eight out of ten resolutions wouldn’t be too shabby. [Huffington Post] * Like a virgin, detained for the very first time: thanks to this court order, Egypt will be forced to come out of the dark ages […]
* A man on trial for sex crimes at a Minnesota courthouse allegedly shot three people yesterday, including prosecutor Timothy Scannell. Guess it’s time to get a metal detector. [Duluth News Tribune] * Instead of trying to force Citigroup’s hand on a tougher settlement, the SEC is appealing Judge Rakoff’s rejection of the original. Don’t […]
* Should the Supreme Court be forced to televise oral arguments? Yes, but only on the condition that we get spin-off shows called Wise Latina Justice and Ruthie’s Law. [WSJ Law Blog] * Rod Blagojevich won’t get leniency during sentencing. He’ll spend the next week lamenting the fact that can’t brush his beautiful hair like […]