Sex Scandals

I met Robert F. Kennedy Jr. once. In college, a group I padded my résumé with hosted Mr. Kennedy for a speech. I remember him being a bit of a frosty prick, but he didn’t seem uniquely so. As aloof as a successful person who was born into “American royalty” might be expected to be. His vocation was saving the world via environmental activism and his voice was reedy and fragile, seemingly one solid throat-clearing away from productive use. There was a dinner held for him. It was lame and sad. A wan salad and food-service chicken breast, covered in food-service tomato sauce. During his speech, Kennedy upbraided a young idealist for his recycling, which wouldn’t accomplish much in Kennedy’s mind. Corporations wouldn’t be moved by this crunchy college kid’s quixotic trash-collection fetish.

I remember all these details from a thoroughly unremarkable speech and event and yet today I feel like my memory is somehow porous and unreliable. Because in all those bits of detail, I don’t have any memory of a straight-up horndog, macking on the finest ladies the University of Kansas had to offer. Must have been a “victory” day for RFK 2 (explanation to come).

Yesterday, the New York Post published a few scant details from a “sex diary” Kennedy allegedly kept in 2001 — a tale of sexual conquest and Catholic guilt. According to the Post, this environmental lawyer and Kennedy bro unfortunately chose to memorialize his own insane solipsism.

There are those who look at famous lawyers who leave a trail of incriminating evidence and ask why? I dream of sex diaries that dare to be read and ask, why not?…

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Deidre Dare aka Deidre Clark

Last year, a New York judge denied a motion to dismiss made by Allen & Overy in the sexual harassment case brought against the firm by the former associate known as Deidre Dare (aka Deidre Clark). “And thank God for that,” as Clark herself said.

We have nothing against Allen & Overy; the Magic Circle member is one of the world’s finest firms. It’s just that if the lawsuit had been dismissed, we would have been deprived of this amazing video of a managing partner reading pornography aloud during his deposition.

Yes, we know that watching video is tough for those of you who are reading us at work. But close your office door, or don your headphones, or put a reminder in your calendar to watch when you get home tonight. This short clip is worth it….

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‘Want my cookies?’

[W]hat else would [Edward Bunstine] be wanting to do, having me come to my door naked?

Ashley Holdren, a client who refused to oblige what she perceived to be her lawyer Ed Bunstine’s inappropriate suggestion for an alternative fee arrangement. Bunstine’s license to practice law was suspended for one year, six months stayed, for attempting to solicit sexual activity with a client.

(Keep reading to see some of Bunstine’s more interesting defenses to the ethics charges filed against him by the Ohio Disciplinary Counsel.)

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Cab drivers are trusted with a sacred responsibility in our society. They must drive our drunkest and most helpless citizens home when these individuals are well past the point of being able to take care of themselves. Cabbies are the modern Charon, ferrying souls across the river Budweiser so that they arrive safely to their appointed hangovers from hell.

Cabbies who violate this trust should be hunted down and punished with the full force of the law. If you can’t trust an immigrant stranger to take care of you and your belongings when you are too drunk to stand, let alone defend yourself, then the whole system breaks down.

A lawyer and local New Orleans celebrity got drunk and sloppy coming home from Bourbon Street. She alleges that her cab driver took advantage of her by recording upskirt pictures of her and her junk, then tried to extort her for money in exchange for the photos.

I know what you’re all thinking: “Why can’t this kind of thing happen to Nancy Grace?” Sometimes life’s not fair. But despite her embarrassment, this attorney did the right thing and went to the police, and now the cabbie is under arrest…

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Juan Monteverde and Alexandra Marchuk

I just finished reading Gone Girl (affiliate link), the riveting and disturbing novel by Gillian Flynn. It brilliantly demonstrates, in a way that lawyers can appreciate, how the exact same set of events can be explained in radically different ways.

Given its focus on fighting, in terms of the war between the sexes and the battle for the truth, Gone Girl was appropriate to read in between the latest filings in Marchuk v. Faruqi & Faruqi. The salacious sexual harassment lawsuit has the entire legal world talking.

Yesterday we wrote about Alexandra Marchuk’s second amended complaint. Now let’s dive into the answer, filed with impressive swiftness after the complaint, which paints a very different picture of events and of the plaintiff….

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Over the weekend, the New York Post published an except from a book called Unicorn (affiliate link), a self-published memoir of a lawyer who lived the secret, swinging lifestyle.

I get it, “professional” woman writes about having sex with multiple partners and suddenly people are interested.

The Post describes the book’s author as: “Isabella Martin, 37, a successful corporate lawyer based in an East Coast city.” The post says that “Isabella Martin” is a pseudonym that the author is using for professional reasons.

Normally I’d ignore books with Harlequin romance lines like this: “During that period, I guess I saw sex just like a hot-blooded single guy with no emotional attachments would. I found it difficult to calm my mind and get to sleep if I hadn’t had an orgasm.”

But tipsters point out that the real “Unicorn” might not have been quite as successful as the Post would have us believe, which piqued my interest….

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Juan Monteverde and Alexandra Marchuk

Alexandra Marchuk’s high-profile discrimination lawsuit, Marchuk v. Faruqi & Faruqi, continues to escalate. She filed her initial complaint against F&F and partner Juan Monteverde in March of this year, the firm fired back with counterclaims in April, and Marchuk amended her complaint later that month.

Last week, Marchuk filed a second amended complaint in the case. It contains some juicy new allegations, including some that refer to what discovery has supposedly unearthed so far….

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Midwesterners may represent the most wholesome portion of our population, but their lawyerly brethren have allowed their libidos to get the better of them.

Take Kenneth Kratz, the sexting district attorney from Wisconsin who once notably told one of his victims, “You may be the tall, young, hot nymph, but I am the prize!” Another fine example is Reema Bajaj, a young solo practitioner in Illinois who pleaded guilty to engaging in prostitution (and was also accused of trading sex for office supplies).

Now we’re hearing about a public defender who was allegedly unable to keep it in his pants. Coles County Public Defender Lonnie Lutz held his position for 33 years before retiring in June. In the final years of his service as PD, he allegedly took advantage of the attorney-client relationship by repeatedly sexually harassing and fondling his female clients, but not all of them — “only the special ones.” The sweet nothings Lutz allegedly whispered to his “special” clients are quite… graphic in nature.

Is Lonnie Lutz just a horny old man? Let’s find out…

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Khloe Kardashian

Here at Above the Law, we sometimes write about the Kardashians, a family made famous because a celebrity lawyer’s daughter couldn’t keep her legs closed on camera. From their 72-day marriages to their legal wranglings with Jonathan Lee Riches to their deep thoughts on controversial trial verdicts, these tabloid queens have given us a fair share of entertaining legal fodder.

Unfortunately for Khloe Kardashian, a recent law school grad allegedly provided some “entertaining legal fodder” to the reality TV star’s husband, Lamar Odom. Apparently this NBA player thought he was a free agent on the basketball court and in the bedroom…

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Sydney Leathers, an aspiring paralegal and one of the women behind the downfall of Anthony Weiner (part deux), recently published a guide on how to seduce politicians. Her tried and true methods seem to have worked well for her — not only was she able to sustain the would-be mayor’s sexual urges via text messaging, but she also raked in thousands of dollars from other sugar daddies. To put it plainly, this girl is a pro.

We decided to take a cue from her by creating our own guidebook on how to seduce lawyers. Just follow these five easy tips, and you’ll have him wrapped around your little finger…

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