Biglaw lawyers behave badly sometimes. And Biglaw lawyers sometimes use travel as an excuse to behave badly. But no one likes to talk about the bad things they see their colleagues do. It is bad for business, especially since it is the rainmakers that usually behave the worst. Bad behavior is usually just ignored, and only gets revealed as confirming evidence of a former colleague’s failings — if and when the firm decides enough is enough and cuts ties with the evildoer. Sometimes that never happens, and the sociopath becomes a “firm leader.” Biglaw is a business, after all, and powerful people need to get away with the things powerful people decide they are entitled to do. So Biglaw lawyers and staff generally keep quiet.
When I was an associate, I was lucky enough to work with pretty decent people. Even though I did a lot of work traveling, with a variety of senior attorneys, I was never exposed to any behavior that was out of line. Back at the office, there usually was a spate of gossip following partner retreats, but that was tame stuff. To be honest, a group of pasty old partners hitting a strip club, or some millionaire partner sitting at the ten-grand-a-hand blackjack table, did not strike me as that scandalous. Especially when I was exposed in the office to blatant overstaffing of matters, do-nothing partners and associates “reviewing” things, and similar other profit-drivers that normal people would consider theft. (My firm was not so bad on the padding front; other firms I saw from cases I was on were far worse. But that is a discussion for another time.)
There was one time, however, when I saw openly unprofessional behavior, perpetrated by a pretty important Biglaw figure no less. And I kept quiet about it, despite the temptation to email Lat and expose what I saw. Now that I have this platform, I still intend to protect the identity of the Biglaw figure that I saw with my own eyes publicly debase his or herself and our shared profession. Why? For the sake of his or her family, clients, and firm. And for Biglaw — we don’t need more scandals, especially stale ones. And when there is innocent collateral damage to consider, I think it best to keep my mouth shut. If this person’s fate is to be exposed for other indiscretions, it will happen. Going by the lack of discretion they exhibited publicly (which I witnessed with my own eyes), there is a good chance they feel immune. Maybe they are. We’ll see — and I have no doubt that if things ever catch up to them, ATL will be there to capture the happenings.
It’s time to announce the winner of August’s Lawyer of the Month competition. Last month, we had a potpourri of lawyers and judges allegedly behaving badly for readers to choose from. In the end, one of our candidates stole the show with 41 percent of the total vote.
Let’s find out who took home the title of Lawyer of the Month — a man who coincidentally was behind one of the best lawyer sex scandals of the summer. Get ready to swallow the evidence, ladies, because what happens in Vegas usually doesn’t stay in Vegas for very long when it’s captured on a jailhouse candid camera….
Ed. note: This new column is about sports and the law. You can read the introductory installment here.
It wasn’t until law school that I realized adult life was one long series of birthday dinners. There was one every week it seemed. And at one birthday dinner in particular, I gave a speech that would haunt me for the rest of my law school career. Like an STD.
It was somebody’s birthday and we were eating Mexican food. And I was stationed at one end of the extra-long tables near a few friends and acquaintances. Several beers into the meal, I loudly steered the conversation towards a discussion of herpes. I’m not really sure why I did this. I think I had read something on the intertubes that day. At any rate, I told my end of the table that herpes was way more commonplace than they thought, and that the effect of the disease was far less dire than they thought. That, sure, some cases were worse than others, but that the puritanical myth-makers in our culture had convinced us that it was worse than death. Which it wasn’t. I was in high dudgeon, my friends. The floor was mine, and I was taking no prisoners in my attack on what I had deemed a cultural sex libel. “I’m telling you, ladies and germs. Herpes is NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!”
Not a single girl present at that dinner ever came close to having sex with me. On a related note, Kris Humphries was sued for allegedly giving a girl the herp.
Today, we’ve got a tale for our readers about a lawyer from upstate New York who seems to be the epitome of a DUI defense lawyer’s worst nightmare. As the old saying goes, “the third time’s the charm,” but apparently when it comes to this guy and allegations of drinking and driving, the third time’s when you get caught with an alleged prostitute in your car.
Did we mention that the accused prostitute once starred in a reality television show, Wife Swap? That’s certainly not going to help this fellow keep the allegations under wraps….
Ed. note: This new column is about sports and the law. You can read the introductory installment here.
I was an altar boy for several years as a kid. The priest, who smelled of cigarettes, would whisper “book” when he wanted the book, and over time I became a pro at rocking the bells. Seriously good at shaking those bastards.
Let’s talk sports?
On Wednesday, Dr. Graham Spanier and his attorneys went on the offensive. Spanier, you may recall, is the former Penn State president who was fired in the midst of the Sandusky scandal last November. Joe Paterno died, two former colleagues await trial, and the 64-year-old Spanier simply got a pink slip. You would think that since he escaped the far harsher sentence of his compatriots, he would be grateful. Perhaps he would tend to a garden during this, his senescence, and dream about the days when a child rapist didn’t have free reign over the Penn State campus. If gardening isn’t his thing, maybe drinking is. I know it helps me to forget.
But alas, Spanier is in no mood to forget. On Wednesday, Spanier sought out every audiovisual recording device he could find in order to plead his case to the world. Y’see, everyone’s got it absolutely wrong about Graham Spanier.
Ever since Mary Kay Letourneau’s illicit relationship with an underage student hit the news in 1995, our country has been fascinated with sex scandals involving female teachers. Teacher-student sex scandals have earned a permanent place in our national news coverage, because as we all know too well, there seems to be a new incident each year. The reporting is often intense, and thanks to Nancy Grace’s television takeover, a nationwide assault on the “too pretty for jail” defense was launched into being.
Recently, female teachers have been upping the ante, having sex with multiple students in what have been described as drug- and alcohol-fueled orgies. Take, for example, Stacy Schuler, an Ohio teacher who was convicted of sexual battery after having threesomes with her students.
But the most recent teacher-student sex scandal takes the cake, if only because the allegations involve five students filming amateur porn with their teacher. Until now, we’d never heard of a case that involved so many young men all at the same time. But as they say, everything’s bigger in Texas — including the gang bangs….
What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, but when you’re caught on camera with your pants around your ankles, you may experience some difficulty with that used-up, old cliché.
You’d think that attorneys would refrain from whipping it out in jail after learning about the guy who allegedly offered pro boner services to female inmates, but as usual, you’d be wrong. That being said, the next time you absolutely need to get off, you may want to take some advice from our Lawyer of the Day, Curtis Cannon. He’s facing up to four years in prison for allegedly dipping his Cannon balls in a jailed client’s mouth.
Because really, why bother with client service when you can get your clients to service you instead?
While many would-be lawyers were busy taking the bar exam in July, actual lawyers (and law students) were allegedly busy behaving badly. We’ve singled out a lucky few for our Lawyer of the Month honors.
Some of our nominees have adopted unusual career alternatives, and others have allegedly adopted unusual sexual relationships. But who will come out on top in our monthly contest?
Take a look at our nominees for July’s Lawyer of the Month and find out….
The ethics investigation by the Canadian Judicial Council of Madam Justice Lori Douglas, the Canadian judge featured in nude photographs that her husband took and then posted to the internet, has ended for now. The hearing adjourned on Friday and will resume at some point in the fall.
The latest noteworthy development was testimony to the panel to the effect that the committee considering Lori Douglas for appointment to the bench already knew about the nude photos when it evaluated her judicial application. This supports Justice Douglas’s claim that she did not improperly conceal information when applying to be a judge. “There was knowledge of the photographs and we were to follow up,” testified Justice Martin Freedman, who chaired the committee that screened Douglas for the bench.
With the hearings in recess, now is a good time to pause and take stock of the charges against Justice Lori Douglas. What is the best case that can be made against her?
Have you ever thought about having sex with a professor in exchange for a good grade? Don’t lie, we’ve all thought about it. Here in America, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if someone found out about your illicit tryst. Someone might get fired, you might have to retake a class, but that would probably be the end of the story.
But if this had happened in another country, perhaps a country with stricter laws, then the professor in question could be looking at multiple criminal charges, a pretty stiff sentence, and huge monetary fines. And as luck would have it, a sex-for-grades scandal recently occurred in Singapore of all places — the same country that recently “relaxed” its death penalty standards in favor of lifetime imprisonment with caning.
Let’s discuss the allegations of a professor’s hanky-panky with a law student coming straight out of the “Fine Country,” a place where defendants cower in fear over the fines they may face for their alleged behavior….
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We currently have a number of active openings for associate roles at US and UK firms in HK / China, Singapore and two new in-house openings. As always, please feel free to reach out to us at email@example.com in order to get details of current openings in Asia, as well as to discuss the Asia markets in general and what we expect for openings later this year. Our Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney will be in Beijing the week of March 25 and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong the week of April 1, if you would like to meet them in person.
The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
• 2nd to 5th year mandarin fluent M&A associates needed in Beijing and Hong Kong at several firms;
• Korean fluent 2nd to 4th year cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 5th year Japanese fluent M&A associates needed in Tokyo;
• 4th to 6th year mandarin fluent cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 4th year M&A / cap markets mix associate needed in Singapore.
The last time I flapped my wings your way, I tried to make at least enough noise about your mobile phone to make you more than a little bit uncomfortable. I hope I did. If enough of us become anxious enough about the known and unknown unknowns and knowns in our mobile phones, then we can start making wise decisions about how to manage that information and its resultant investigations.
Today, I’d like to put a finer point on the last installment’s topic by asking a question that seemed to catch most attendees off-guard at a conference panel that I moderated last week: is there discoverable personal information in a mobile app? Our panelists’ answer was a uniform “yes” with one stating that, if he had to choose only one type of data that he could discover from a mobile phone, he’d choose app data. Why? Because there’s simply so much of it and because almost all of it is objective – not just user-created like an email – but machine-tracked like GPS, usage duration, log in and log out times, browsed web addresses, browsed actual addresses. Also, most of us seem to have the idea that data doesn’t actually “stick” to our mobile devices the way it “sticks” to our hard drives. Maybe there’s a disconnect based on the fact that our phones are mobile so we assume the data is mobile to?
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