It might be too many viewings of Jerry Maguire, but sports agents seem really cool.
* Law firm suffers Viagra hack. If it persists for more than four hours… [Legal Cheek]
* An in-depth and frightening look at “Witness 40″ in the Ferguson Grand Jury proceedings: a bipolar woman with a long history of making racist comments who lived nowhere near Ferguson and testified only after Officer Wilson’s story was revealed — which she parroted back. Bob McCulloch thought this was a stellar witness. Bob McCulloch is also bad at his job. [The Smoking Gun]
* Charleston local government wants InfiLaw out of town. Is there anyone left who wants InfiLaw to take over Charleston? [TaxProf Blog]
* Congratulations to U.S. Attorney Sarah Saldaña on her confirmation as head of ICE. [International Business Times]
* Pet piercing will soon be illegal in New York, so get that dope nose ring for your dog today! [Lowering the Bar]
* Canadian “band” Skinny Puppy demands $660,000 from the U.S. government for using their music as torture material without permission. As a compromise can we just pledge to strap Dick Cheney down and force him to listen to 15 consecutive hours of Skinny Puppy and call it a day? [Gawker]
* Cleveland WR Andrew Hawkins pens a thorough, even-handed takedown of butthurt police union leaders demanding he apologize for taking the stance that police should try not to kill unarmed 12-year-olds. So apparently this is what the Browns are good at. [Talking Points Memo]
* David chats about the backstory behind Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link).
Kinney is currently running an exclusive search for an Asia GC role at a well known tech start-up company, based in Shenzhen. This company has received significant recent praise for their new smart phone device in leading medial outlets, such as the New York Times, TIME, Mashable, Wired, Yahoo, and Forbes, among others.
Although Nerf began as a simple foam ball, use as a weapon is a solid part of its history.
* New Jersey’s new tort liability ruling is an important first step to a real-life Hunger Games. [The Legal Blitz]
* A holiday shopping guide to beer and wine involved in intellectual property disputes. Clever. [Trademark and Copyright Law Blog]
* “There’s an app for that!” Lawyers create “Driving While Black” app for your smartphone. [The Oregonian]
* Speaking of Oregon, the University of Oregon is in the midst of a teaching strike that not only impacts its football team, but caused an immigration law issue when statements the school made were interpreted as threats to the immigration status of foreign teachers if they joined the strike. [Daily Nous]
* According to Dean LeDuc, Thomas M. Cooley Law is sad that it failed to sell the Mason Temple building in downtown Lansing to the state senate. Except there’s not really any mention that the state senate was ever interested. Perhaps their interest was reported by the same people behind the Cooley Rankings. [Lansing City Pulse]
* New OSHA rules a-comin’. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
Coach Mike Leach admits he used some choice words when he locked a former player in a shed.
* Charles Manson is getting married. Have folks uncovered his registry yet? Or is this just hilarious trolling? [Lowering the Bar]
* No, Tim Tebow did not get arrested soliciting a prostitute, no matter what your Facebook feed tells you. It’s obviously false. I watched his pro career, he can’t score for money. [Snopes]
* Remember the lawyer who dressed up like Thomas Jefferson and declared himself “incompetent” at his own disciplinary hearing? Well, now we have video of this insane argument. [Above the Law]
* Take the quiz: Drug or Pokemon character. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* Prosecutor wants to withdraw evidence rather than reveal how the cops got it. That doesn’t sound shady at all. [Slate]
* Professor Richard Sander keeps riding that “affirmative action is bad because it lets in dumb (minority) kids” train. [TaxProf Blog]
* Shearman & Sterling partner Richard Hsu interviews Tae Hea Nahm, a former partner at Wilson Sonsini who moved from law to venture capitalism. [Hsu Tube]
* Bloomberg BNA launches a new product, Bloomberg Law: Banking, to provide legal and business intelligence for banking professionals. [Bloomberg BNA]
* Buffalo attorney Alfonzo Cutaia took time lapse video of the Lake Erie lake effect from his office window. It’s gone viral, and it’s pretty clear why. That’s some messed up weather right there. [YouTube]
Got a sports law question? Ask it here and we’ll try to answer it for you.
* We are coming to Chicago, and we’d love to see you at our event on Thursday night — RSVP here. [Above the Law]
* Wait, FIFA may be dishonest? Kirkland partner Michael Garcia announces plans to appeal after FIFA releases ethics report on the Russia and Qatar World Cup bidding process that contains “numerous materially incomplete and erroneous representations of the facts and conclusions.” And he should know since he worked on the investigation. [Am Law Daily]
* Behold the all-purpose citation! [Lowering the Bar]
* Regarding yesterday’s crazy “woman sues the owner of the dog that her dogs killed,” an astute reader notes that a year ago, the Texas Supreme Court limited damages in pet deaths to “animal’s market worth.” So in the interest of reining in damages, the courts gave the victim less incentive to sue than the owner of the perpetrators. Sounds like a great system there. [Dallas Morning News]
* The holidays are around the corner. Get that special lawyer some prints of courthouses around the country to spruce up their office. [Courthouses of America]
* Wow. California school district argues that 14-year-old girl could legally consent to sex with her teacher because, I mean, come on, we all knew she was a slut. This happened. In 2014. [Slate]
* Advice that should go double for lawyers: sometimes you really just need to drop acid to clear your head. [What About Clients?]
* Professors who refuse to retire are the worst. [TaxProf Blog]
* The makeup of the Supreme Court is the most important issue in the 2016 election. Well, the most “important” issue will be if Hillary is a crone who murdered everyone in Benghazi with Obamacare, but the Supreme Court should be the most important issue. [Slate]
* We’ve wondered why the Supreme Court isn’t more accountable before. Fix the Court wants to do something about it. [USA Today]
* In-house counsel are optimistic. Too bad they aren’t optimistic about sending work to firms. [Business of Law Blog / LexisNexis]
* The Italians just overturned the manslaughter convictions of a bunch of scientists for failing to accurately predict an earthquake. But, sure, let’s send Amanda Knox back over there. [Reuters]
* Latham snags a gaggle of high-profile O’Melveny entertainment lawyers and O’Melveny names three new co-heads of its Entertainment, Sports and Media Practice. [Deadline Hollywood]
* An infographic of firm trends. Technological upgrades are the name of the game. [Think Tank / Aderant]
* While we treat high school athletes as adults in so many aspects of their lives, America just won’t let go of labeling them juveniles unable to grasp sexual assault. [The Legal Blitz]
* Horrific tale of systematic sexual abuse in the ranks of USA Swimming, which turns to Bryan Cave for what a lawyer profiled in the article calls “plaintiff-draining legal tactics.” [Outside Online]
* R.I.P. John Michael Doar, former chief of the DOJ civil rights division in the 60s, who died at age 92 yesterday. [What About Clients?]
* Does Chief Justice Roberts care enough about avoiding the appearance of partisanship that he’ll sink challenges to Obamacare? [Huffington Post]
* Wow. In 1938, they arrested a woman for wearing pants to court. [LA Times]
* LSAT takers were down AGAIN. It’s now down more than 40 percent since 2009. Maybe someday soon it really will be a good time to “Apply to Law School Now!” [Excess of Democracy]
* Don’t go to jail in Alabama. Just a general rule. [Mother Jones]
* Interesting. LexisNexis is partnering with Microsoft to create a cloud-based system for small law firms. [PR Web]
* The remains of famed athlete Jim Thorpe will remain in the Pennsylvania town where he was buried, ruled Judge Richard Caputo. His family wanted the remains returned to his birthplace. Even in death this guy is getting jerked around. [Associated Press via ABC News]
* Speaking of sports, Oklahoma State is suing New Mexico State alleging that its mascot looks “confusingly similar” to OSU’s mascot. There are only so many ways to depict a cowboy. Compare and contrast. [The Chronicle of Higher Education]
* Man Okie State is litigious all of a sudden. Oklahoma State is suing the University of Texas for poaching the former Cowboys Offensive Line coach to be the Longhorns’ Offensive Coordinator. I can see the deposition now. Imagined transcript after the jump…. [ESPN]
Attorney: And how old are you, describe yourself?
Other Attorney: Objection, compound.
Attorney: Go ahead and answer the question.
Mr. Gundy: I’M A MAN! I’M 40!
* A Saul Goodman Bobblehead. You know you want it. [Amazon (affiliate link)] * It looks like that Jimmy John’s non-compete agreement we reported on is going to spawn a congressional inquiry. [Huffington Post] * His dreams of becoming a solicitor were sidetracked when he was “jailed for slapping a sleeping woman in the face […]
* Apparently, heckling Carmelo Anthony can cost you your job. [Dealbreaker]
* There’s nothing the Supreme Court can do to stop cops who want to take a long time to release you from a stop, even if the Court wants to. [Simple Justice]
* I think we should just ask John Roberts to tell every state precisely how they are allowed to discriminate against black voters and be done with it. Just tell us the rules so we can start the GOTV campaigns. [Election Law Blog]
* Former Manhattan Assemblywoman Gabriela Rosa gets a year in jail for purchasing a sham marriage to gain citizenship. The “for citizenship” part is what got her, because lots of politicians are in sham marriages. [Journal News]
* Judge Frank Easterbrook thinks that the new proposed length limit for appellate briefs is too short. Verbose litigators everywhere, rejoice. [How Appealing]
* I thought “spoofing” was bad for the market, but Matt Levine says cracking down on spoofing “helps” high-frequency traders, who I also think are bad for the market. You know why I’m not an SEC lawyer? Prosecuting people based on them being “bad” becomes untenable when everybody involved is rich. [Bloomberg View]
* The world’s largest Harry Potter memorabilia collection belongs to a lawyer. His patronus is a shimmering gavel. [The Telegraph]
* The FCC has ended the sports blackout rule. Expect the NFL to go bankrupt within days. [Politico]
* No one expects to see “lawyer” on a Top 20 Work-Life Balance list, but there is one legal job out there coming in at number 11. [Glassdoor via Adjunct Law Prof Blog]
* Want to expose the severe problems of the over-criminalization of everything? Everyone with a warrant turn themselves in on one day. Call it “Warrant Day.” See how the system copes logistically and financially when all those citations come home to roost all at once. [Street Roots]
* Russia’s equivalent of Chief Justice Roberts advocates a return to serfdom. Now there’s an originalist! [Business Insider]
* Bow Tie Law talks about the role of discovery software in the duty of lawyers to review documents. Because document review is “legal work” when it’s about paying people a livable wage and “computer work” when it isn’t. [The Everlaw Blog]
* Before we get wrapped up in the cases the Supreme Court will decide, let’s remember all the cases it won’t decide. Because “we can tell a lot about what the court cares about—and what it doesn’t” from its cert decisions. [Slate]
* Ha. After today’s story about the debt mistakes of Lisa S., here’s the cautionary tale of one “Elie M.” [Law and More]
* Elizabeth Garrett, USC Provost, will become the next president of Cornell. Garrett will also be a tenured faculty member at Cornell Law School and is bringing along her husband, Andrei Marmor, who will also join the law school. See, this is how you hire administrators: get someone willing to do double-duty with teaching! [Cornell Chronicle]