State Attorneys General

Mike DeWine

If you were to ask people to name states known for corrupt politicians, the top contenders would probably be Louisiana, Illinois, and New Jersey (my home state, so I can say that). But a scandal brewing in the state of Ohio, involving the sitting attorney general, could help the Buckeye State moving up in the rankings.

Attorney General Mike DeWine stands accused of running a “pay to play” operation in awarding lucrative contracts for outside legal work. What are the allegations against him?

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Hurry up, you don’t have much time.

* A company has limited bathroom breaks to 6 minutes daily. Well, gutting pensions and suppressing wages hasn’t caused a revolution, why not let it ride? [Slate]

* A Florida town has imposed criminal sanctions against sagging pants. But Chief Justice Roberts told me racism was over in the South… [Fashionista]

* Who says crime doesn’t pay? [CBS News]

* Mayer Brown wants you to think the Supreme Court wasn’t tilted toward business interests this Term. Yes, we all know how Homer City turned out, but maybe it’s worth evaluating this based on how important the cases were. Is Petrella really equivalent to Noel Canning? [Mayer Brown]

* Not one, but two former Utah Attorneys General charged with corruption. [Deseret News]

* The CFPB brought suit against a debt collection lawsuit mill. A working CFPB. One more great thing we used to get from recess appointments. Thanks Breyer. [CFPB]

* Oh no. A law school tuition Kickstarter. [Kickstarter]

* New York tried to help homeowners facing foreclosure. Unfortunately, the law didn’t create a remedy if the banks refused to follow the law. Well, it was our fault for thinking Albany could do something right. [WiseLaw NY]

Amanda Knox

* Quinn Emanuel got a pretty harsh benchslap from Judge Paul Grewal over its litigation strategy in the Apple / Samsung case, calling it “650 lawyers wide and one lawyer deep.” Sick burn, Judge. [Courthouse News Service]

* At Cardozo Law, Jordan Belfort’s former lawyer says that the movie Wolf of Wall Street “played down the sex and drugs.” Dear Lord, if that’s the case, Leo’s muse should be happy he’s alive. [DealBook / New York Times]

* “I’ve been around the block. And I’ve never seen an attorney general sanctioned.” Ahh, the rarest rose. Nevada’s AG was sanctioned for failing to provide evidence in a fraud case against a mortgage lender. [Forbes]

* Eighteen people were arrested for their alleged attempts to market and sell Super Bowl “party packs” to football fans. It’s pretty sick, but you’d got to admit that hookers and blow beat wings any day of the week. [Bloomberg]

* Law schools in the Southeast closed their doors because their states were “unequipped for dealing with the roadways.” Send them up here, we’ve got school when there’s a foot of snow. [National Law Journal]

* A recent grad of a “good school” wanted to know how to get a job, so she asked an advice columnist. Here are five of the suggested jobs she probably already applied to and was rejected from. [Fortune]

* The third time’s apparently the charm in Italy: Amanda Knox was convicted of murder, again. Foxy Knoxy must be pissed that her case has turned into an extradition question on an international law exam. [CNN]

* Who doesn’t love fee voyeurism? It pays to be a winner in an antitrust case. How many millions did Robins Kaplan just rake in? Just part of the largest attorney fee award ever handed out in a private antitrust case, no biggie. [Am Law Daily]

* In this glass half-full world, about half of state Attorneys General are in favor of gay marriage — but some of them would go ahead and defend their state’s laws anyway. Boo. [WSJ Law Blog]

* It might be “pretty basic,” but Chris Christie received a document subpoena over the Bridgegate scandal. Not for nothing, but we hear that the governor was in the middle of bringing about world peace when he got the news. [Bloomberg]

* Hofstra Law is the latest school to launch its own “law school law firm” in an effort find jobs for its graduates close the justice gap. Welcome aboard the bandwagon, enjoy your stay! [Hofstra Law News]

* Hunter Moore, the king of online revenge porn, was indicted on 15 federal charges by a grand jury. “We’re superpleased that the FBI have brought this to fruition,” says a victim’s mother. So is everyone else. [TIME]

* “I have this much respect for the American judicial system.” George Zimmerman has a new painting for sale, and this time he’s ripping the Special Prosecutor who charged him with second-degree murder. [CNN]

Cherished lunch box of Justice Holmes.

* Harvard Law’s Langdell Library hosts a bevy of legal treasures. Including the personal lunchbox of Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. [The Harvard Crimson]

* Per a new survey, watching the Kardashians makes one twice as likely to want an aggressive lawyer. When I have to watch the Kardashians I become an aggressive lawyer. [Avvo]

* The Supreme Court spent Cyber Monday denying review to two cases challenging the imposition of sales taxes on Internet purchases. [The Blog of the Legal Times]

* New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman cracked down on fake Yelp reviewers. Apparently, reviewers who gave a pet groomer 4 stars are a bigger priority than the reviewers who gave subprime-backed securities AAA ratings. [Corporate Counsel]

* Not exactly breaking news, but Philly has caught on that law firms are merging because the market is so terrible with a new piece on the merger craze. Specifically, they’re looking at the planned merger of BakerHostetler and Philly’s own Woodcock Washburn L.L.P. we mentioned last week. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Lakers guard Steve Nash’s ex-wife is battling him for child custody. She’s hired a Phoenix law firm whose most famous attorney is jacked up NFL ref Ed Hochuli. For now Hochuli isn’t working on the case directly. For now. [TMZ Sports]

* Congratulations to Kobre & Kim on being named Law Firm of the Year by the National Asian Pacific American Bar Association. [Newsday]

* Who says Civil Procedure isn’t sexy? Some UNLV Law students take to YouTube to bring (Civ Pro) SexyBack. [You Tube]

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Counselor, you’re out of order.

Lawyer jokes notwithstanding, most lawyers are ethical, honorable, and competent. That’s why we tend to focus on attorney misbehavior in these pages; it’s more newsworthy. If a lawyer complies with the law or serves a client well, that’s not exactly “news”; it’s what lawyers are supposed to do, and what most lawyers do most of the time.

Alas, sometimes lawyers fall short of our profession’s high standards. Today we look at allegations of a high-ranking government lawyer abusing the perks of his office, a tax lawyer engaging in tax fraud, and a real estate lawyer who has people real mad — after taking $4 million from them.

Which of these attorneys deserves to be our Lawyer of the Day? We’ll describe their alleged misdeeds, outline the reasons for and against Lawyer of the Day honors, then let you vote for the winner….

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* Harry Belafonte is suing MLK’s kids to establish ownership of a few documents. Why won’t the King kids jump in de line? [CNN]

* Bad news for Charleston Law: South Carolina has decided to pass on taking over the school. To InfiLaw and Beyond! [The State]

* Sometimes advertising creates some strange bedfellows. This story brought to you by the U.S. News rankings. [PrawfsBlawg]

* School sends in a fake masked gunman to scare kids as part of a lesson. This will end well. [Jezebel]

* Maryland’s Attorney General is a terrible backseat driver. Do with that information what you will. [Lowering the Bar]

* Sullivan & Cromwell is bringing in Jeffrey Wall, an assistant to the Solicitor General, to be co-head of its appellate practice. [Blog of the Legal Times]

* Some advice that you wish someone imparted back in the day. [Legal Cheek]

* The government shutdown wasn’t as much about tearing down government as it was about creating a paradoxical dictatorship of freedom. Time to brush up on your Carl Schmitt, y’all. [Concurring Opinions]

* The legal issues involved in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. The traffic laws governing flying cars not included. [The Legal Geeks]

* The speed (or lack thereof) of justice: The DOJ filed suit against Bank of America, alleging that the bank defrauded mortgage-backed securities investors in 2008. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Sri Srinivasan, the newest member of the D.C. Circuit’s bench, is getting ready to hear his first arguments, while litigants try to commit the spelling of his last name to memory. [Legal Times]

* The LSAT is not to blame for the dearth of minority enrollment in law schools, said a UVA Law professor, and then a Cooley Law professor had to swoop in to slap him down. [National Law Journal]

* After teaming up with Touro, the University of Central Florida is working with Barry on an accelerated degree program. The dean of FAMU is upset. Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn, too. [Orlando Sentinel]

* New Jersey is in no rush to legalize gay marriage. To support their views, officials point out that people with civil unions are just like married couples — except for the married part. [New Jersey Law Journal]

* Meanwhile, a judge in Illinois will decide whether she’ll dismiss a challenge to the state’s gay marriage ban by the end of September. In her defense, early fall is a great time for a wedding. [Daily Herald]

* Belvin Perry, the judge who presided over the Casey Anthony murder trial, may be getting his own Judge Judy-esque television show. Oh, Flori-duh, you never, ever cease to entertain us. [MSN News]

* “Our graduates have a history of going to small firms, DAs and public defenders’ offices. We don’t have the employment swings that big law schools have because their graduates are focused on more elite firms,” says the dean of law school that costs $185,214 to attend. Certainly all of those students at the District Attorney’s office are making enough bank to pay that off. [Daily Report]

* Looking to avoid jury duty? Practice some F-Bombs. [Lowering the Bar]

* Copyright carries with it a substantial weakness — most publishers would rather reprint public domain works than deal with authors. [The Atlantic]

* 75 percent of IP counsel are either litigating with patent trolls or expect to in the next 12 months. The other 25 percent just represent really sh**ty products. [Consero]

* A former attorney is aiming to crowdfund her invention, a 3-in-1 kitchen tool. [Gambas and Grits]

* Several State Attorneys General want to make it easier to go after bloggers because narrowly tailored laws are for suckers. [Popehat]

* A tipster sent us this from Facebook. This is the best tattoo of Lady Justice ever. Picture after the jump…

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Why would a lawyer think that being a lawyer would help him get into this place?

I get it, having to stand in line to get into a club is annoying. It’s emasculating. You feel if you were more famous or important or rich, you’d be let in right away. And usually you’re right. Standing in line for a club is like public confirmation that you are not that cool.

But let me tell you something, saying “I’m a lawyer” doesn’t make you cool. In fact, it creates a rebuttable presumption that you are an uncool d-bag who says things like “rebuttable presumption.” Certainly, flashing your little “lawyer badge” that you got from the prosecutor’s or attorney general’s office is not going to help you cut in line. You really think these bouncers want your judgmental and probably litigious ass up in their clubs?

Earlier this year, we had a Florida prosecutor you tried to use his badge to get into a strip club. Now we have another Floridan who thinks being a lawyer should get him ahead, but instead it just got him arrested…

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