I evacuated the courtroom today due to a man with live bedbugs for everybody’s well-being.
Cozen Partner Claims Judge Called Him a ‘Piece of Sh*t,’ Put ‘Wanted’ Posters of His Face With a Bull’s-Eye in CourtroomBy Staci Zaretsky
The last time we wrote about a partner from Cozen O’Connor, he ended up with a “huge [bleep]hole” after sending a string of allegedly abusive emails to opposing counsel. Today, we’ve got another Cozen partner whose tale of woe with the New York court system may be liable for giving a New York judge a “huge [bleep]hole” of his own.
John McDonough, the Cozen partner in question, has accused Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Arthur Schack of some pretty untoward actions, and has filed papers to get the judge to recuse himself from a $100 million civil case against Duane Reade.
But what could have been so offensive that it would warrant calls for a judge’s recusal? Apparently McDonough isn’t a fan of being referred to as a “piece of sh*t”….
The only people dumber than this Lubbock, Texas judge are the people who believe state court judges are impartial.
The story that has gone viral this morning is about Texas Judge Tom Head. In a local news interview, Judge Head said that a property tax increase was needed, in part, so the sheriff’s department could defend the people against U.N. troops that Obama would send to invade Texas to quash the civil war that would naturally break out if he was re-elected.
Stupid freaking Texas. Up here in New York, we’ve been preparing for that eventuality for years. What, you think it really costs $2,200 to rent a one-bedroom shoebox in Chelsea? Of course not! I believe it was our own New York State Supreme Court Judge D. Bagger Dumas who said: “The MTA needs funds to extend the 7-line all the way to Hoboken so that we may have an avenue to escape from the mechanized Kenyan Power-bots Obama has been developing in secret with the French and General Zod.”
Sorry, even my jokey attempt to sound as crazy as a Texas judge falls woefully short of the real life lunacy of Texas judges (plus an UPDATE on this guy’s title)….
- Drugs, Law Schools, Music, Non-Sequiturs, Politics, Pornography, Rape, Sam Sparks, Sports, State Judges
* So now the judge accused of watching porn from a courthouse computer admits to watching porn on a courthouse computer. Let me just get this out of the way: if I’ve used your computer, it was probably to watch porn. [Chicago Sun-Times]
* Too soon for Aurora jokes? I think it’s weird that more people believe in waiting periods for zingers than for handguns. [Tax Prof Blog]
* Lance Armstrong’s suit against the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency was dismissed by U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks. How come the only athlete that seemed to get his day in court was Roger Clemens? [Bloomberg]
* Another kid is packing in his sports dreams to go to law school. Though, in fairness, one of the few things worse than the law graduate economy is probably the NHL economy. [North Dakota Inforum]
* I think Republican political candidates should know by now that they only bands they are allowed to like are country music bands. If they want to like non-country music, they should get the artist’s approval, in writing. Meanwhile, liberals are allowed like all kinds of music, even music performed by people who don’t know what they are talking about. [What About Clients?]
* Attorney and rape victim Shauna Prewitt has some facts about rape that apparently Todd Akin didn’t know. [xoJane]
- Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Breasts, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Movies, Non-Sequiturs, Partner Issues, Privacy, Racism, Screw-Ups, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns, Technology
* A St. Louis plastic surgeon has been sued for allegedly posting topless photos of her breast augmentation patients online — with their names attached to the photos. It’s just more evidence that sooner or later everyone will be naked on the internet. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
* Wow, the miracles of technology. Now if you have a paternity dispute that you need to clear up, you don’t need to go on Jerry Springer. All you need to do is visit your local
taco truck DNA testing van. [Legal Blog Watch]
* You know that scary feeling when it seems you have forgotten something but you can’t figure out what it is? Well, you forgot your toddler — at the grocery store. There, fixed it for you. [Legal Juice]
* Oh boy, another misbehaving state judge. This one, from Georgia, allegedly pre-signed arrest warrants and hit on a woman who appeared before him in court. Sounds like quite the stand-up dude. [Atlanta Journal Constitution]
* What are the top five movies all law students should watch? Let the arguing over this list begin… [Greedy Associates]
* I’m sure there must have been a legitimate reason for a federal judge to compare the civil liberties of Muslim Americans to a “hideous sea monster,” but c’mon, really? [Chicago Tribune]
Back in May, we noted that New York would be implementing a new prerequisite for admission to the state’s bar: all would-be attorneys must complete 50 hours of pro bono work before being allowed to practice in the Empire State.
This initiative was Chief Judge Jonathan Lippman’s latest attempt to mete out justice for all, but it was not well received by all sides. Some have likened the pro bono requirement to indentured servitude; others have thrown up their hands in frustration and called the move “utterly wrongheaded.”
At first, it seemed like only in-state bar examinees and law schools had reason to worry. Now, out-of-state law schools are stepping up to the plate to complain about Lippman’s requirement. Details for the rule’s implementation still haven’t been drafted — in fact, out-of-state schools weren’t even invited when the Chief Judge’s advisory committee last met in July. Law schools and law graduates alike have been kept in an uneasy waiting period while all of the minutiae get worked out.
But for out-of-state law schools, the worst part of this waiting period is the uncertainty about whether this pro bono requirement will come at a cost to students….
- Divorce Train Wrecks, Legal Ethics, Rudeness, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns, Videos, YouTube
Early in July, we wrote about a family court judge who found himself in hot water after a video of him yelling at a pastor who was going through a divorce went viral.
Now, the judge has been hit with expedited ethics charges — not over his hot-tempered behavior, though, but for allegedly ignoring orders from higher-ups on the state judicial food chain. And, as you might expect, the judge is not exactly Zen about facing the charges…
- Bankruptcy, Clerkships, Crime, Drugs, Election 2012, Federal Judges, Guns / Firearms, Job Searches, Law Schools, Layoffs, Money, Morning Docket, Politics, Pro Se Litigants, Romance and Dating, S.D.N.Y., Sam Sparks, State Judges, Student Loans, Texas, Unemployment
* In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Mitt Romney picked Rep. Paul Ryan as his Vice Presidential running mate. Putting politics aside, this is a great pick, if only because Ryan is so handsome. Seriously, he’s a total stud. [Wall Street Journal]
* “How can I be the one guy with a good degree who is going to be chronically unemployed?” Sadly, many lawyers are still looking for jobs after (multiple) layoffs, but thanks to a lack of positions, employment is just “not in the cards” for them. [New York Times]
* Deadliest clerkship? The Washington, D.C. judge who presided over one of the most violent mass shooting cases in the nation’s capital was reportedly held up at gunpoint last week, with her law clerk in tow. [Fox DC]
* Something is rotten in the state of
Denmark Texas. Judge Sam Sparks “know[s] the smell of bad fish,” and now wants to know why the USADA waited so long to bring charges against Lance Armstrong. [Bloomberg]
* After reversing a bankruptcy court’s decision that loan repayment would be an “undue hardship” for a law school debtor, a judge took the time to rip law schools a new one over escalating tuition. [Oregonian]
* Match.com class-action plaintiffs found no love in court after a federal judge ruled that the dating website hadn’t breached its user agreement. Much like their love lives, their claims aren’t getting any action. [Reuters]
* A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client: 23% of all cases filed in the federal court for the S.D.N.Y. are brought by pro se litigants, and the vast majority of them seem to have lost their minds. [New York Post]
- Movies, Music, Pircher Nichols, Rank Stupidity, Romance and Dating, State Attorneys General, State Department
* A few weeks back, we mentioned some legal lessons gleaned from Jay-Z’s 99 Problems. Turns out, you might not need law school to become a lawyer. Maybe all you need is a Spotify subscription and a good set of headphones. [FindLaw]
* Government security guard finds suspicious bag and stashes it under his desk, where it chills out for a couple of weeks. Oh yeah, I should probably mention — there was A BOMB in the bag. Nice work, Sherlock. [CNN]
* If you rat someone out, you might avoid prson. But in Illinois, if you end up in prison, don’t be surprised if you end up with a real rat as a cellmate. Maybe a roach too, if you get particularly unlucky. [WBEZ]
* Former Judge of the Day John Wulle, who yelled at a teenager in court and suggested the teen might be “stupid,” just lost his bid for reelection. I think the appropriate statement here is: Stupid is as stupid does. [The Columbian]
* I’m pretty sure everyone knows politicians are not exactly truthful all the time. But which politicians are the heavyweight “Liar, liar, pants on fire” champions? [Daily Dolt]
Clerking for a federal judge is supposed to be a prestigious way to spend your first year after you graduate from law school. Clerking for a state judge is not quite as prestigious, but a job’s a job, and in this economy, beggars can’t exactly be choosers.
But why go through the trouble of getting all of those recommendation letters when you can just house sit for a judge instead?