* Florida State QB Jameis Winston is still in a heap of legal trouble and it turns out his best legal move might just be to drop out. It’d save him the trouble of getting demolished by Mississippi State. [Sports Illustrated]
* A follow-up on the Yale Law/Colombia Prostitution/Secret Service/Obama scandal. An amateur poet was hot on this story from the start and sent cryptic verse about it to a Yale student paper way back in the day. [Ivy Gate Blog]
* Ron Swanson explains lawyers. Best line, “The man who kills me will know.” [Legal Cheek]
* Remember when the Texas Supreme Court cited Walter from Big Lebowski? Now we have the proper citation form for the occasion. [The Legal Satyricon]
* Perdue has settled two lawsuits against it over the use of the phrase “humanely raised.” Apparently its chickens were “not that.” [Salon]
* One lawyer explains why it’s high time we eliminate this holiday. [Katz Justice]
The internet is vast and there are recaps aplenty, so we are focusing on the legal inaccuracies.
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Perhaps Teresa Giudice’s lawyer didn’t understand that his client was so dense.
Absurd dialogue and even more ridiculous plotlines? You might love this show.
* Quiz: Can you match the picture of the plaintiff to the landmark Supreme Court decision? [Slate]
* Ninth Circuit expedites Ed O’Bannon appeal. [USAToday]
* New NBC comedy about a law student who becomes a garbage man. Better job security, I suppose. [The A.V. Club]
* The federal prison population declined by about 4800 inmates, giving the United States… well, still the worst incarceration rate in the world, but hey, you’ve got to start somewhere. [ABC News]
* The contract attorney who sued Biglaw is living in his car and considering a career in construction. Perhaps it was a Freudian thing. [Law and More]
* Some philosophy professors are concerned about an individual getting very testy with perceived critics. Anyone want to guess the individual? [Professor David Velleman Homepage / NYU]
* In case you missed it, Howard Bashman’s announcement of our new partnership. [How Appealing]
* Middle school convinces special needs girl to allow suspected rapist to take her into a bathroom so the school can “catch him redhanded.” She gets raped. Judge dismisses the lawsuit saying he wouldn’t “second-guess” school officials. [Al.com]
Would you leave behind a six-figure salary to live in the wilderness without electricity or running water? This hottie did….
* David Letterman and CBS got smacked with the latest internship class action. To think, poor Paul Shaffer’s been working for free all those years. [Deadline]
* Class action could be on the horizon over high-frequency trading. [Wall Street Journal]
* Frankly, I don’t know what the problem is. [Washington Post]
* You may have been following the story of Justice Ginsburg’s officiating a wedding in New York this weekend. Well, if so, here’s the Times write-up. [New York Times]
* The federal courts are looking at tightening the word limits on appellate briefs. How do you feel about this move? I’m with the author that “The number of cases where attorneys think they need a word extension is greater than the number of cases that actually warrant one.” [New Mexico Appellate Law Blog]
* Scott Brown, formerly of both Massachusetts and the Senate, is threatening to sue Harvard’s Larry Lessig after Lessig labeled the Nixon Peabody “advisor on governmental affairs” a “lobbyist.” Lessig asks if the campaign preferred he write the more technical, “sold his influence to a DC lobbying firm.” Ha. [Time]
* Fordham professor Susan Scafidi, founder of the Fashion Law Institute and designer Narciso Rodriguez make the case for strong legal protection for fashion designs. [Room for Debate / New York Times]
* On Friday, Keith Lee wrote about a lawyer who billed a client for sanctions. We’ve written before about lawyers billing for the time spent boning their clients. A law professor who teaches professional responsibility asks: “Is billing for sanctions better or worse than billing for sex. I say sanctions. Can we have a survey on this?” Of course you can. Poll after the jump….
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* Here’s the international sign for “don’t urinate in public.” Glad to know we needed a sign for this. [National Review] * An illegal hostile work environment is created when coworkers wear confederate flag T-shirts. Because… obviously it is. Professor Volokh thinks this is unconstitutional. Apparently a document drafted by white slaveholders is set up […]
* They’re making The Devil’s Advocate into a TV show. That is all. [io9]
* Lingerie brand is suing its former lawyer for screwing up its patent filing. What a boob. [NY Post]
* Chris Kluwe and the Minnesota Vikings have reached a settlement to avoid potential embarrassment. Now if only they could reach settlement with the Packers for the same reason. [NBC Sports]
* The world of raising hogs meets the Eighth Circuit. The fifth “H” stands for what the hell? [The Legal Geeks]
* Shares in Taser have gone up 25 percent since Michael Brown’s shooting. Oh, remember Taser? The company that makes a product that stops fleeing suspects without executing them? Looks like the market is expecting a sea change in how police do business. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* Jesus. A teenager who waited in jail for three years pending trial died in solitary confinement at Rikers Island when his heart exploded. A new lawsuit alleges that the prison just ignored the condition. So much for innocent until proven guilty. [Gawker]
* A new study undermines the myth that the gender imbalance in tenure is not related to productivity. But hey, who cares, tenure is passé according to Laurence Tribe. [Inside Higher Ed h/t TaxLaw Prof]
* When times are tough, lawyers are denying their law degrees in job applications. No matter how hard you pretend, your debt isn’t going away. [Law and More]
* Jury writes judge a note asking for a “big bottle of wine.” It’s gonna be a long night. [Southern District of Florida Blog]
* As it turns out, some Redditors are morons who don’t understand law. Glad we cleared that up. [The Concourse]
* There’s a Kickstarter for an Ally McBeal podcast. If you love talking about unisex bathrooms, here’s a golden opportunity. [Kickstarter]
* Attention law students: there’s a $500 prize in it if you can craft a winning blog post. [The Expert Institute]
* Terrible, terrible advertising. [Copyranter]
* A Simpson Thacher associate is planning to row across the Atlantic to support cancer research. [Remacae]
* These teacher tenure suits are so stupid and completely miss the real reason public schools have trouble. And the lead plaintiff inadvertently confessed just how off the mark he is. [Washington Post]
* AMC released the teaser for Better Call Saul. After the jump… [via Time Magazine]
* Have you all called the Breaking Bad law firm number yet? Because it works, so go for it! [Legal Cheek]
* How to make airlines more profitable: make everyone sit on bicycle seats! [Lowering the Bar]
* Ilya Somin explains why the D.C. Circuit’s interpretation in Halbig isn’t absurd. And it’s not absurd. It just reflects the hilariously cynical conservative opposition to giving their own citizens tax breaks. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* Ohio State fired its band director amid sexual harassment allegations. To fire a guy, Ohio State must have dotted every “i” in this investigation. [USA Today]
* Speaking of sexual harassment, the Navy’s Blue Angels are the subject of a sexual harassment suit. And somehow it involves a blue and gold penis seen from space. [Slate]
* The Chevron battle over Ecuador continues. Turns out the star witness Chevron paid upwards of $1 million to testify took 50 days of prep to finally get his ever-shifting story straight. [Huffington Post]
* There’s a new book out called Kate’s Escape from the Billable Hour (affiliate link). We haven’t read it, but apparently this tale of “a burnt-out, second-year attorney working in the dysfunctional world of Big Law” mentions ATL. So they definitely did their research. [Amazon]
* Watch a drunk guy give cops a lesson in Con Law. Video after the jump…. [Barstool Sports]