Kids

Lawyer Parents Require Signed And Notarized Affidavit Before Tooth Fairy Visit

There's nothing potentially scarring about making a child sign legal documents to engage in basic childhood traditions. Nothing at all.

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Neither of my parents are lawyers, so I’ve never fully grasped what it must have been like to grow up in an abattoir of legalese. But many people are reared by the partnership of Mom & Dad. I’ve known several such kids to come out the other side becoming lawyers themselves. And many more who worked hard to figure out the lifeplan furthest removed from lawyering.

But what makes a dual-legal upbringing unique?

Perhaps it’s forcing a child to sign an affidavit to secure payment from the tooth fairy…

Well that’s what happened to young Emily Winter, who was plopped into the legal system like a tooth into a bowl of Alpha Bits.

The affidavit was notarized by the girl’s father Robert M. Winter, who I assume is this Robert M. Winter. The agreement was drafted by mom Jan Winter and covered all the parents’ bases — oh, sorry, all the “tooth fairy’s” bases — with this agreement. The best is the claus barring Emily from seeking further compensation if she finds the tooth in the future Perhaps more so than drafting an affidavit, the real insight into the experience of having dual-lawyer parents is knowing that they looked into the eyes of their young child and think, “she might be trying to screw the tooth fairy into double payment.” How devious did they think she was? It’s Emily Winter, not Emily Thorne.

Best of all, according to Emily Winter’s Facebook page, Jan Winter took 1/3 of the payout as a fee. True or not, that’s a solid quip.

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In any event, whatever became of Emily Winter? She’s a stand-up comedian now. So she took that, “furthest removed from lawyering” option.

Do any of you out there who grew up with two lawyers as parents have a better story?

Friday Funnies: The Tooth Fairy Affidavit [My Case]

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