Man Receives $567K In Damages After Being Forced To Motorboat Woman's Breasts

What’s wrong with some good old-fashioned motorboating? Lots, says this jury.

Gentlemen, have no fear, because the forced motorboating stops here. Never again will you be asked if you want to sample your female superior’s “duck taco.” Never again will you be asked if you want to lick spilled Coke off a female colleague’s “cannooki.”

Ladies, you can’t get away with this stuff anymore just because you’re women…

Pam Matranga, the Texas constable accused of farting while rubbing her vagina and wondering why she couldn’t get a man, is likely rolling her eyes while making a jerking off motion after learning of the six-figure jury verdict in the sexual harassment case filed against her. Here’s more from the Houston Chronicle:

A Galveston County jury has awarded $567,000 to a former deputy constable who was allegedly sexually harassed by his female boss.

The jury made the award Friday to James P. Gist, 51, after deciding that former Precinct 7 Constable Pam Matranga, 55, sexually harassed him from May 2011 until October 2011.

Gist accused Matranga of repeatedly making suggestive comments, of pressing his head between her breasts and of making other sexual advances. He alleged that he was fired after Matranga discovered that he was attempting to record her advances.

Gist could not be reached for comment, but his attorney, Anthony Griffin, said the jury refused to absolve Matranga because of her gender.

“They rejected this whole notion that you get away with it because you are a female,” Griffin said. He said the jury awarded his client $200,000 more than he asked.

Matranga was eventually dropped from the suit, leaving the county to pick up the half a million in damages she left in her wake. Perhaps she can pay the county back by performing at “chunky chick night” at the local strip club. After all, she’s apparently practiced her lap dance techniques on her employees before.

Flip to the next page to see Matranga’s reaction to the verdict, as well was James Gist’s original complaint, rife with “some of the worst euphemisms for female genitalia ever seen”….

Sponsored