Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.
– Rumi
I get a lot of reader emails about finding meaningful work (and how to leave a job you absolutely loathe). If there is one thing I am absolutely sure of, it’s this: Doing meaningful work will substantially increase your life satisfaction and happiness. Doing work you hate will make you miserable.
When stated in this way, the statement is obvious. Yet, so many lawyers stay in jobs that they know are not right for them.
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It’s difficult to walk away from a career that you’ve spent years getting to, not to mention the overwhelming cost — both time and money. And if we’re being honest with ourselves, leaving law also means in part leaving your identity and the prestige.
Yet, another reason for staying also has to do with the narrative we hold about work. It’s work, it shouldn’t be fun or enjoyable. Lawyers believe they must sacrifice themselves in order to do their job well, a phenomenon I call “martyrdom law.”
Sadly, we don’t believe we have a right to ask deeper questions about finding joy, satisfaction, and meaning in our work.
I remember the first time someone asked me about my talents, and work where I experienced a deeper sense of meaning. I cried. I cried because no one had ever asked me these questions before. But perhaps more heartbreaking, I never asked myself these questions.
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Like so many, I was hurrying through life, constantly struggling, trying to better measure up to an external yardstick. I didn’t pause. I didn’t notice. I wasn’t paying attention. I was constantly treading water, trying not to drown, failing to see that all I had to do was simply stop treading and stand up.
When I talk about meaningful work, I am not talking about work that is free from pain, tragedy, or heartbreak. As a lawyer, we are in the human suffering business.
That’s part of the deal. You have to be able to find a way to witness the suffering without losing yourself in it. In return, you gain the privilege of helping your client through what will likely be the absolute worst, the most difficult part of her life.
Of course, that’s only one part of it. The other part of lawyering that I loathe is having to be in the conflict business. One that’s very poorly designed, and an area where lawyers at best receive underwhelming training.
Recently, I attended a 341 hearing. For the non-bankruptcy lawyers, this is a hearing that all debtors must attend with the bankruptcy trustee. The trustee on the record starts to question my clients about an issue that’s completely irrelevant. My clients are getting flustered. I’m agitated because I can see very clearly that he’s simply doing this to be difficult. It’s just his nature. I know from my own experience and my conversations with other debtor’s attorneys that he’s known for being unnecessarily hostile.
In that moment, I was deeply grateful for my mindfulness practice. I didn’t let the trustee rattle me. I was able to see through his tactics, and I remained calm.
Having to deal with unreasonable, and difficult people. This too is part of the package of being a lawyer.
Only you can know what meaningful work looks like for you. I find doing bankruptcy law to be extremely rewarding, and meaningful. Yet, I knew that there was other work I was meant to do. I feel incredibly fortunate that I get to be both — a lawyer, and also a legal mindfulness consultant.
In both roles, I help people find more ease, and decrease stress. I couldn’t have found this work unless I was able to be in the uncomfortable state of not knowing. Perhaps this is the most difficult part of finding meaningful work is this: Having the patience and faith to know that the “desire for that work has been put in every heart” and having the courage to look.
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Jeena Cho is the author of The Anxious Lawyer: An 8-Week Guide to a Joyful and Satisfying Law Practice Through Mindfulness and Meditation (affiliate link). She regularly speaks and offers training on mindfulness and meditation. You can reach her at [email protected] or @jeena_cho on Twitter.