Protip: It goes inside the toilet.
Law school finals are a terribly stressful time, and anyone who’s had the displeasure of moping through the hallways at the end of each semester will be able to tell you their own personal horror stories. This is why law schools across the country are going through the trouble of promoting activities that will help their students decompress and alleviate some of their anxiousness.
Even if some of these worthwhile programs are offered at law schools, it won’t prevent all students from releasing their pent-up exam rage in a nightmarish fashion.
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At one elite law school, a student succumbed to the stress of exams in such an incredibly nauseating way that it must have made classmates exclaim, “Holy crap!” It seems that a Michigan Law student has taken to defecating ever so delicately on the floor. Here’s a message that was sent via the law school’s listserv earlier this week about the incident:
While this reads a bit like a Craigslist “Missed Connections” posting, you can tell that the student who brought the Poop Perpetrator’s activities to everyone’s attention must have been at least somewhat concerned about the welfare of the student in question. Crapping on the floor and wrapping it up like a present is obviously a cry for help of some sort.
Whether the Poop Perpetrator simply needs advice on where to purchase Depends or on where mental health counseling is available, there are people out there who are ready, willing, and able to help. If you find that therapy dogs and yoga aren’t doing it for you, please don’t release your exam anxieties on the floor of the closest bathroom in protest. Next time you feel the urge to take a dump on finals, please use the toilet.
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Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. She’d love to hear from you, so feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. You can follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.