Dear TSA,
I’m curious: Why do I look so scary? (Readers: Please don’t answer that.)
Is it the top hat? Perhaps it is the facial expression I have as I realize that soon I will be in a cramped airplane seat, getting my knees crushed as the passenger in front of me decides to lean back an inch. Maybe it is because I’m so cheerful and greet you all with a polite smile. Or maybe it’s because I’m such a seasoned traveler I can toss my luggage down with ease and bolt through the X-ray, only to be stopped yet again by a “random” search.
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I understand, as your website says, that being “TSA Pre” does not guarantee me expedited screening. “TSA uses unpredictable security measures, both seen and unseen, throughout the airport,” your website points out.
Of course, that makes me think about how that can lead to certain abuses, such as profiling. So I went to your profiling blog page, and found one entry about hair.
I also note that your screen procedures, according to you, “must comply with all applicable civil liberties and civil rights laws, regulations, executive orders and policies and must not discriminate against travelers on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, religion, age, disability, genetic information, sexual orientation and parental status.”
I suppose that leaves open the question whether or not your “unseen” and “unpredictable security measures” lead to discriminatory. Or how anyone could prove they are discriminatory. You know, unless they collect data like I do.
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Some of us have been scrutinized since 9/11. I have fond memories of being screened, pulled aside at security, and then searched again at the gate. When I had connecting flights, I could be assured of yet another round of searches and pat-downs at the connecting gate. That is, until I pretended to enjoy it. Then you stopped.
I’m not alone in the complaint that your claim that your randomly screening is bullshit. The ACLU published a report titled “Bad Trip,” which basically describes how your psychological profiling leads to “unscientific” and “unreliable” results. I partly disagree. I think your results are quite reliable, at least by assuring I get searched more than everyone else.
I complained once about this behavior to the person who was patting me down. I explained that I get searched 50 percent of the time. He said, “Yeah, I hear that from everyone I search.” Thanks. You proved my point. If those of us who get searched are getting searched a disproportionate share of the time, it’s not random. So maybe you should stop lying to us. I guess “random” search is a euphemism for searched based upon race, sex, religion, national origin, height, muscular build, travel clothes, or whatever other excrement you claim are scientific variables probative of malice.
What is even more funny, TSA, is that I have a friend who had top-secret clearance. In other words, he probably knows a lot more about our country’s secrets than you. Guess what? He’s also Hispanic. Turns out his “random” searches were more along the lines of 80 percent. We text each other every time we get “randomly” searched. He flies every week. I get a lot of texts from him. And he gets lots of texts from me. Some months he texted me 100 percent of his flights. Did I mention he collects data, too?
I’m worried about a couple of things. The first thing I’m worried about is how much less I enjoy flying when I’m suffering a solidly non-random pattern of searches. That’s minor. The second thing I’m worried about is how often I see people who aren’t white getting pulled aside for “random” searches. Or is that the reason you’re searching me, because I’m curious and observant? The third thing I’m worried about is what you might be missing in your continued quest to find some goods on me. In all fairness, you did discover a water bottle I forgot about once. Oh, and you also let through a Leatherman once with a ½” blade that you confiscated on my return flight. Good job!
But the thing I’m most worried about is your unbridled and unchecked use of power. Some have experienced it, as the links here, here, here, and here demonstrate. Don’t worry, there are a lot more links, I just stopped because I feel I made my point. So, if you’re going to tell me to file a complaint on your webpage, I’m going to have to pass. More than likely, you’ll search me even more. And did you check out the link I gave above about what happens when you complain? Really, I’ll pass.
I’m all about making sure the bad guys get caught if they try to bring guns and bombs on an airplane. I’m also in favor of assuring that the people in charge of finding those bombs and guns aren’t wasting their time, my time, or anyone else’s time by nonrandom and pointless profiling. Congressional oversight and legislation might be helpful here to assure that you don’t abuse your power. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you laugh.
Sincerely,
LawProfBlawg
LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top-100 law school. You can see more of his musings here. He is way funnier on social media, he claims. Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at [email protected].