Labor / Employment, On The Job

5 Reasons Why You Should Not Take A Swing At The Boss – A Risk Management Perspective

Take a walk around the block, go to a yoga class, or, kvetch to your spouse. Just don’t, DON’T, don’t resort to violence.

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Ah, the Boss.  All powerful.  What a leader.

Bosses are only people, after all, just like you and me.  They have the same issues, problems, and are prone to the same foibles. Do they not bleed? Do they not suffer? Why would we want to take a swing at our Fearless Leader?

Oh, you might be one of the very, very few who has such a primordial urge.

As lawyers we are taught from day one to be cautious, risk averse, and downright terrified of change or uncertainty.  And if we forget at times, we are always reminded — gently — to play it safe, don’t take chances, and, heaven forbid, make sure that our clients are just as risk averse and terrified of uncertainty as we are.  As good risk managers, we analyze every possible issue five times, up and down and sideways, and make sure — damn sure — that we inform our client of all the potential problems and risks inherent in every possible scenario.

That way, the client can make a business decision based on all of the facts and then can worry about that decision all night just like we do.

So, let’s put on our lawyer caps and analyze why it is not a good idea to punch the boss.  From a risk management point of view, of course.

Are you prepared to be taken out in cuffs? 

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There are a lot of good reasons why it is not a good idea to punch the boss, not least of which is that it is illegal.  Yes, you, too, can get taken out of your workplace in handcuffs when your boss calls the police to come to the rescue and you are charged with assault. There is probably a nice cozy jail cell waiting for you where you can meditate (or, better still, read a blog) while waiting for your arraignment hearing.

You could be sued!

Another solid reason not to punch your boss is that that sucker can sue you for civil damages! That’s right! If you take a swing, be prepared for your boss to sue you for battery, claim personal injury, medical expenses, emotional distress, pain and suffering, and even loss of consortium (yes, look that one up — it’s not just a law school concept).

You could even be … fired!!

Third, if you throw a punch‑especially a sucker punch‑ you shouldn’t be surprised if your colleague in the next cube gets that promotion instead of you. Go figure, but employers really don’t tend to promote, and in fact may actually fire, employees who take a swing at anyone, let alone the boss.

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Like your job?

Well, don’t get too attached to it because the fourth reason is that, as alluded to above, your employer will likely terminate you. What a shock, huh?

You have likely violated all kinds of policies set forth in your employee handbook (you read that, right?) like standards of workplace conduct, workplace safety, and maybe even your anti-harassment policy if your boss is in a protected class.  Even if the employee handbook does not explicitly prohibit assaulting the boss, my considered speculation (my lawyerly caution prohibits giving opinions here) is that this is somehow covered in the handbook, even implicitly.

While employment is generally “at will,” and you can be fired at any time for any reason, your employer will likely enjoy — really enjoy — citing all of the many workplace policies you violated with your short temper and left jab.  As we tell our kids: use your words!

Last, but not least, not only might you end up in the hospital once your boss picks his jaw off the floor — because, hey, you sure can throw a punch, Rocky! — and I’m just guessing here, but there’s a sporting chance that the boss will haul off and deck you!

Oh, one more thing — it is unlikely that you’ll receive a positive letter of recommendation or a favorable reference from the boss when you try to obtain your next job.

Think about it — it’s going to be really embarrassing when your potential employer calls your former HR Department — or your former, assaulted boss — and learns that you were terminated for actual, physical violence. Think that won’t happen because there’s a state law or policy requiring that former employers provide only your dates of employment and position? Think again. Your boss will not blink at your threat of suing for defamation because it’s not defamatory if it’s true!

Takeaway

So, instead of taking a poke at that son of a b**ch, channel your frustration, your anger, and your pain. Take a walk around the block, go to a yoga class, or, kvetch to your spouse.

Just don’t, DON’T, don’t resort to violence.

Use your words, but carefully!!

That’s the best takeaway from your risk management folks.  (I want to thank my employment partner, The Notorious A.E.G (Amy Epstein Gluck), for carefully vetting this article for risk management issues — I’m as risk averse as the next guy!)

richard-b-cohenRichard B. Cohen has litigated and arbitrated complex business and employment disputes for almost 40 years, and is a partner in the NYC office of the national “cloud” law firm FisherBroyles. He is the creator and author of his firm’s Employment Discrimination blog, and received an award from the American Bar Association for his blog posts. You can reach him at Richard.Cohen@fisherbroyles.com and follow him on Twitter at @richard09535496.

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