In my capacity as world-class humorist (“world” in this case being “my house”), I have come into contact with many who are studying for the bar exam. What follows is an amalgam of what I see on my Twitter feed, as told in “Dear Diary” format.
Dear Diary,
Most Law Firms’ AI Strategies Have a Big Blind Spot. Here’s How One Am Law 200 Firm is Solving It.
Most law firms, big and small, that have adopted AI are making the same mistake: they bought a tool for their lawyers and called it a strategy.
I set my alarm for 5 a.m., but somehow managed to sleep through it until 8 a.m. I had horrible dreams of failing the bar while taking it naked because they enhanced security protocols. Then I had another dream in which my computer kept crashing. And then I showed up on the wrong day. I’M GOING TO FAIL!
Had breakfast. I punished myself for waking up late with burnt toast and an expired yogurt along with my coffee using the grounds from yesterday. I’m so anxious. But I need this 3rd cup of coffee to get me through the videos.
First video was awful. Septuagenarian appears to be screaming at me loudly. Beats last night’s video. Septuagenarian was monotone. Thank goodness I fell asleep to that. Again.
OMG. It’s already noon. I’m going to fail.
Opus 2 Steps Up Its AI Game With Acquisition Of A Legal Tech Startup
With the addition of Uncover’s technology, the litigation software is delivering rapid innovation.
My Adaptibar scores aren’t improving. I’m going to fail.
Just got a phone call from a study partner who suggested flashcards. I cried as I looked at the wall of flashcards I’ve made. I even have a flashcard house of cards. It is a monument to my self-esteem, which could crumble at any moment.
Watched another video. How do they keep finding the septuagenarian white males for these videos? Also, why do I like saying septuagenarian?
OMG, I’m going to fail.
I’m not sure, but I think that old white guy in the video just cursed. Did anyone else think that? Great, now I’m going to be thinking about that if it comes up on the bar.
Study partner texted me to boast of his perfect 100 percent scores. Hard to take the bar after I stuff your body into the freezer, jackass.
Got the simulated MBE results. Writing this as I sob in a puddle of tears I just created on the bathroom floor. I don’t have TIME to clean up a puddle of tears! I have to study! OMG, I’m going to fail.
Took a moment to write a hate DM to the person who tweeted she’s taking a break from studying because she got an excellent simulated MBE score. I’m blocked now.
My pile of flashcards fell over, blocking my exit from the restroom. Had to crawl out the window and reenter the house.
Somehow, it’s already 5 p.m. Maybe I’ll go out by the pool. Lots of people post pics on Twitter of themselves studying by the pool. My legs are way hairier, so maybe I shouldn’t post a pic of this. Let’s see, I’ll need water, sunscreen, a hat, my bar prep cards, a towel, my phone……..
It’s 6 p.m. Ready to go out to the pool.
7 p.m. Fell asleep by the pool. OMG, I’m going to fail.
8 p.m. I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing today. The magnum of Chardonnay calls me. My dinner tonight will be more burnt toast, this magnum of Chardonnay, and two pints of ice cream, all salted with my tears.
10 p.m. Okay, monotone septuagenarian in the video, talk me to sleep with your soothing voice. I’ll set two alarms for 5 a.m. so I get up early to study. Goodnight, Professor Monotone!
8 a.m. OMG, I’m going to fail…
LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top-100 law school. You can see more of his musings here. He is way funnier on social media, he claims. Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at [email protected].