Law Schools

Tales From An Unsuspecting T14 1L: Classmate Insecurities

There are many different types of law school gunners, but are they really just trying to cover up their own insecurities?

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You walk into class, confident in your understanding of the readings. You have kept up on your case briefs and class notes. The professor and your classmates seem to regard you as competent and attentive. And you now consider some of the people you sit near as friends. But then, everything changes when your intellect is attacked.

The day for me was not a cold call, but a class poll. How did nearly every person get this answer right but me? Why is the professor asking me to explain my wrong answer? And, how could I have guessed correctly what the professor admitted to not having taught yet. No, it was not intuitive to me. The insecurity felt quite strong as one of the handful of people who looked like me among scores of other students. I wanted to make myself magically disappear. And even though no one will probably remember that day, I will remember that feeling.

But I will be okay. Everyone who has talked to me about this issue has also wanted to disappear at some point before. In fact, this seems like the common type of student in each class. We are eager and confident for the most part, but sad when we trip up.

I rather the classmates who have an epic fail every now and then than these other types of classmates. Each one has their own public witchcraft for trying to make their insecurities disappear.

The Roman

            She has some “prior knowledge.” She acts like her background and lawyer friends have already prepared her to the point where law school is just a formality. One could die from a drinking game based on every Latin phrase or legal factoid that comes out of her mouth.

When it comes time to say something relevant to the material, she has some prepared words indiscreetly in front of her that quote phrases of the opinion without revealing whether she really understood what each phrase meant.

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The Ph.D. Student

She may or may not actually have a Ph.D., but she probably considered a Ph.D. as an alternative to law school. The professor cannot speak for more than 15 minutes without this classmate’s “take” and questions. Why is the rule this way? How do you know what is reasonable?

She either wrote a paper or read a book on something related to today’s class and will not rest until she gets the professor’s opinion on the subject. She is also shocked that this court opinion does not understand the philosophical or policy ramifications behind the issue.

The Representative of “Anyone Else”

            “I can’t see why anyone else would think the case should go. . .” are the magic words that let me “alt + tab” to checking my emails.

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She only has two forms of contributions to class. Either she agrees with the outcome and everyone must hear her explain why any other thought is clearly wrong. Or, she disagrees with the outcome and will take up the next 10 minutes of class on why no one could possibly change her mind.

And yes, it always feels political.

The Co-Professor

Oh, you thought the last three people acted like co-professors? Bless your heart.

Out-of-place comments and questions to the professor are one thing. But the real witchcraft starts when this student begins to field questions and comments from other students. You may forget who was originally cold called or “on panel” by the time this person is done lecturing about the lack of logic in other students’ points.

She is often the undesignated referee between the Ph.D. Student and the Representative of “Anyone Else” when she is not already acting as all three previously mentioned types of students wrapped up in one body. And she will be sure to continue educating us after class.

Don’t err or else her hand will go straight up to correct you. In fact, she might cut you off without even being called on.

Though I try anonymizing with “she” pronouns, Co-Professors rarely ever identify with those pronouns and are most likely cutting off people who do. Stop it, dude. Just stop.

But we will all be okay. To be fair, none of these classmates act this way in bad faith. We are just dealing with our own insecurities. Some of us internalize it. Some of us externalize it to the point that it disrupts class. And some of us sip tea in the back.

Earl Grey (not his real name) is currently a 1L at a T14 law school. You can reach him by email at HotTeaForEveryone@gmail.com.

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