Poll: What Name Should Brett Kavanaugh Take, Now That He's A Justice?

You know how popes take new names when they ascend? We should do the same for Justices.

(Screenshot: Saturday Night Live via YouTube)

So, cards on the table, I’m not going to call Brett Kavanaugh “Justice Kavanaugh” most of the time. “Justice Kavanaugh” denotes a level of respect that I refuse to accord a man who has been accused of attempted rape, lied repeatedly to Congress during his confirmation hearing, and was rammed through over the objection of a majority of the country. Appellate lawyers will have to call him Justice Kavanaugh, but that’s going to be their cross to bear, not mine.

Speaking of crosses, when popes ascend to their position, they shed their birth names and adopt a holy moniker of their choosing. It signifies a separation between their worldly lives and their new role as pontiff.

We should probably do away with Supreme Court Justices anyway. Once they don the robes, they become less like people, and more like representations of justice.

Brett Kavanaugh represents the extent to which privileged white males are beyond justice. His elevation is an affront to the notions of equality and fairness that the law claims to aspire to.

He should have a Justice name that reflects this.

You editors here at Above the Law have bandied about some ideas. Please vote in our poll below and help us choose Brett Kavanaugh’s official Justice name.

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What should we call Brett Kavanaugh?

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Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.

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