Michael Cohen's Opening Statement: With Some Interesting Receipts

I mean sure, the President should be impeached, but Republicans aren't going to do it on this.

(Paskova/Getty Images)

The Michael Cohen hearings have started, but his opening statement has been available online since last night. I’m hopeful that Cohen says something so explosive that it forces Republicans to confront the reality that there is a criminal in the White House.

But, I’ve met Republicans. I know my hope is foolish. These people have utterly debased themselves to President Trump and his bigoted MAGA base, and I’m not seeing anything that Cohen is saying that is likely to change that.

The media has focused on the character issues Cohen will speak to today. From his statement:

I am ashamed that I chose to take part in concealing Mr. Trump’s illicit acts rather than listening to my own conscience. I am ashamed because I know what Mr. Trump is.

He is a racist.
He is a conman.
He is a cheat.
He was a presidential candidate who knew that Roger Stone was talking with Julian Assange about a WikiLeaks drop of Democratic National Committee emails.

None of this is new. None of this is news. Literally anybody who cares about whether or not we have a racist leading the country knows that Trump is a racist. Everybody who hasn’t already been duped knows that he is a conman. Everybody knows he’s a cheat, a fake billionaire, and a creation of reality TV. I don’t see how Cohen telling us things we already know moves the needle.

People, lawyers at least, have been marginally more excited about Cohen’s evidence. He’s bringing “receipts” we’re told. In his opening statement, Cohen says he’s bringing the following documents:

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I am providing the Committee today with several documents. These include:

• A copy of a check Mr. Trump wrote from his personal bank account – after he became president – to reimburse me for the hush money payments I made to cover up his affair with an adult film star and prevent damage to his campaign;
• Copies of financial statements for 2011 – 2013 that he gave to such institutions as Deutsche Bank;
• A copy of an article with Mr. Trump’s handwriting on it that reported on the auction of a portrait of himself – he arranged for the bidder ahead of time and then reimbursed the bidder from the account of his non-profit charitable foundation, with the picture now hanging in one of his country clubs; and
• Copies of letters I wrote at Mr. Trump’s direction that threatened his high school, colleges, and the College Board not to release his grades or SAT scores.

Let’s break those down:

1. The Check: The relevance of the check is that it was made while Trump was in office. There have been some Republicans who have suggested that Presidents are only impeachable for criminal acts they participate in while in office. This is a bad argument, but the check should stop it. Except… Republicans are hypocrites, they don’t really believe in that argument, and they’ll just say that Trump was paying back his lawyer and didn’t know why.

2. The financial statements: This is could be interesting. Deutsche Bank is on fire and they were the only lender desperate enough to give Trump money for some time.

3. The portrait: This goes to Trump’s apparent violation of laws governing his charity. It could be interesting for the New York A.G., Tish James, who should have jurisdiction over that mess.

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4. The grades: Yeah. I don’t care. I mean, I care in that it shows Trump is a fragile idiot, but, I don’t care.

None of those documents are the “smoking gun,” but then again, what does a smoking gun even look like anymore? Trump admitted to obstructing justice on live television. He asked Russian operatives to hack into the DNC at a campaign rally. His lawyer has already pleaded guilty to campaign finance fraud. DONALD TRUMP SHOULD BE IMPEACHED AND WE’VE KNOWN THAT FOR AT LEAST A YEAR AND A HALF.

Cohen will also testify to a lot of terrible statements Trump has made, and will testify that Trump implicitly ordered Cohen to lie. That’s… great. But Trump and Sarah Sanders an Kellyanne Conway and Lindsey Graham and all the other Trumpsters will just deny the allegations and continue to lie for the President. And somewhere between 35 percent and 40 percent of the country will continue to believe Trump because… what else are they going to do? Admit that they’ve been wrong for three years and have damaged the country with their stupid wrongness?

What changes, based on Cohen’s testimony? What addled MAGA hat sees the light? What Republican Senator has the strength to stand up to Trump?

Whatever, it’s sweeps week. This will be a good show. But aside from the infotainment value, I don’t see how this move one slavish Republican official or voter any closer to basic dignity.


Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.