Courts

Rejection Letter Of The Day: You're Not Prestigious Enough To Clerk For Me

Ouch, this one stings.

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‘Wow, I suck.’

If you’re a law student who’s been dreaming of securing a prestigious federal clerkship, just remember that everyone else wants the same thing as you, so it’s highly unlikely that everyone is going to be able to get one. Instead, you may receive rejection letter after rejection letter (some meaner than others).

In case you forgot, Judge James O. Browning (D.N.M.), a man known for sending rejection letters unintentionally designed to lower applicants’ self-esteem, is here to tell you that you’re not special.

Here’s a rejection letter that a reader recently received, where Browning describes the qualifications of three people who did get his clerkship, in maddening detail. We’ve significantly redacted this letter to protect the identities of the actual clerks.

Thank you for your application to serve as my law clerk. I recently completed selection of my law clerks for 2020-2021 and want to advise you of my decision. It was a difficult decision, and the pool of applicants was very strong. I regret that I could not hire more.

I first decided to hire [a Winner]. [Winner] is a third-year student at [a better law school than yours.] [Winner] is a [legal fellow] and is [on law review]. She received an academic merit scholarship, and is involved in [several extracurricular activities that I like but you showed no interest in]. [Winner] is a summa cum laude graduate with high honors of [a college that’s also better than yours], where she received a B.A. in Political Science and History. She also has a MPhil degree in International Relations and Politics from [a prestigious university you couldn’t dream of attending]. She will clerk for [a freaking circuit judge], in the 2019-2020 term. [Winner] was a [Division I athlete while you sat on the couch] and [has actually spent time in this jurisdiction].

My next selection is [Awesome], who expects to graduate from [one of the best law school’s in the country] in May, 2020. [Awesome] had [an insane GPA] at [a law school that wishes it could join the T14] after her first year — which was at or near the top of her class — and was invited to join the law review before transferring. [Awesome] is Line Editor [on a journal, and you are not]. [Awesome] received [more awards than you can count]. [Awesome] has worked [near this jurisdiction for years]. [Awesome] received her B.A. in Politics and Religion from [a superb college].

My most recent selection is [Fantastic], a third-year student at [a well-ranked law school I like], and the Articles Editor for the [law review]. [Fantastic] has a [GPA that’s higher than yours] and a class ranking of [dear lord, much higher than yours]. [Fantastic] received CALI awards for the highest grade [in classes you also took, but for which you received no award]. [Fantastic] has been on the dean’s list (all semesters), and the recipient of [every scholarship, fellowship, and award known to man]. [Fantastic] went to [an Ivy League college], where he graduated with a B.A. in Mechanical Engineering. [Fantastic] will complete a clerkship with [a state appellate court] in 2020. [Fantastic] grew up in the Southwest, where his family still resides, and is looking forward to establishing his professional career here [while you probably do not].

I regret that I cannot extend an offer to you as well. Your résumé, credentials, and references are impressive [just not as impressive as these other three people]. I wish you the best in your career [seriously, good luck with that]. I know that you will do well [but if you don’t, I’ll tell everybody that I saw it coming]. Best regards.

Sincerely,

James O. Browning
United States District Judge

The next time you receive no response instead of a full rejection letter, consider yourself lucky. This is just a reminder that you should’ve tried harder.

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Staci ZaretskyStaci Zaretsky is a senior editor at Above the Law, where she’s worked since 2011. She’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to email her with any tips, questions, comments, or critiques. You can follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

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