Being Pregnant While Gunning For Partner

Trust that your colleagues and clients can handle it if you want to disclose your pregnancy. Be candid about what you need while pregnant -- don’t make your colleagues guess.

Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Sarah-Jane Morin to our pages.

It was a big day.  My black maternity pantsuit was making its debut, stretchy waistband in all its glory.  I turned to the side and looked in the mirror.  I turned back to face the mirror.  Side again.  Front again.  Repeat.  Did I look pregnant?  Nah, I decided.  I looked like an attorney dressed to be elevated to partner — assuming I made it through the partnership interview at my law firm’s headquarters that day.

I had not yet told my firm management that I was pregnant.  I had decided that it was better to be private for now.  Muddying the waters while up for partner seemed unnecessary; the better path seemed to be to let the partnership decision be made first, and then I could discuss my family plans.

Opting to stay silent made pregnancy complicated, perhaps unnecessarily so in hindsight.  I travel a fair amount to see clients and to speak at conferences.  My colleagues traveling with me would go to dinner or drinks after the meetings or conferences, whereas I needed to sleep (I was exhausted).  That meant I often excused myself to go “work.”  The secrecy felt awful, yet I felt that I couldn’t risk being more straightforward, nor did it seem appropriate to discuss my personal life in those moments.

Making my way up the elevator and down the hall to the partnership interview, I didn’t feel physically great.  Morning sickness?  Nerves?  Probably both.  But once I was in the room, I felt so excited.  I forgot about everything but the interview and the moment.  It was over so quickly.  I went home and breathed a sigh of relief, knowing I had done my best.

A few days after the interview, a colleague called me to let me know that there were some rumors going around the proverbial water cooler that I was pregnant.  Hm, maybe my maternity suit was not as incognito as I had thought.  I decided to call the head of my department immediately and let him know that I was pregnant.  I hated the idea that the firm would find out from anyone other than me.  I knew of no other partners who had been pregnant while up for partner and could not anticipate the reaction from my firm.  Picking up the phone, I was extremely nervous.  What would he say?  Would he be angry that I hadn’t said something before?  Would the firm assume I would not want to travel anymore or not want to step up for new client pitches, neither of which would be a correct assumption?

I decided the best path to handle my nerves and these questions was to be straightforward and clear.  I was not apologetic or cagey.  My fears turned out to be unfounded.  My department head congratulated me, told me that the firm was invested in me for the long haul, and that this was great news.  He told me that my pregnancy had no bearing on new assignments and that I should tell him if I needed anything.  A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I felt grateful and happy.  Across the firm, I was met with similar reactions.  The head of my firm put me in touch with a small group of female partners who had babies.  I had never known such a group existed, and I wished I had known much earlier that this support was available.  About two weeks later, the firm announced its new class of partners, and I was honored to be included.  It turns out I was actually one of two rising pregnant partners!

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After that, I was left with the complications of working while a rising partner and being pregnant.  The complications were difficult: I had to excuse myself from a call with a client when I got sick (thank you to a wonderful associate who didn’t miss a beat in stepping in); due to some pregnancy complications, by my third trimester I had five doctor appointments per week (thank goodness for the technology that gave me the ability to work remotely).  Perhaps most difficult: I missed the firm’s yearly partnership meeting because it was scheduled a week after my due date.  I was sad to miss it but appreciated that my firm management told me not to worry and to enjoy my time at home with my new son.  There is always the next one.

If I could do it over again, I would still remain quiet until I felt comfortable revealing my pregnancy after the partnership interview.  Pregnancy — especially the first half — can be physically and emotionally taxing as well as scary at times, and felt very private to me.  But my choice might not be right for others, and I see now that pregnancy would not (and certainly should not) have upset my partnership prospects or muddied the waters — especially if I were to be clear that my first priorities were health and work (so no, I did not need any special accommodations; I could travel while pregnant, etc.).  If you find yourself debating the merits of discretion versus full disclosure in similar circumstances, do what feels right for you in your situation.  Trust that your colleagues and clients can handle it if you want to disclose your pregnancy.  Be candid about what you need while pregnant – don’t make your colleagues guess.  Being pregnant while up for a promotion is not a taboo issue, and we don’t need to treat it as such.

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Sarah-Jane Morin is a partner at Morgan, Lewis, and Bockius LLP where she focuses her practice on representation of public and private companies, private equity funds, venture capital funds, real estate funds, portfolio companies, and real estate investment trusts in the tax aspects of complex business transactions and fund formations, including domestic and cross-border investment strategies, sponsor investment strategies, limited partner investment strategies, mergers, acquisitions, integrations, buyouts, recapitalizations, debt and equity restructurings, and ongoing operations and tax compliance issues. Additionally, she advises on international tax issues, including the tax aspects of offshore vehicles (GILTI/CFC/PFIC regimes), anti-deferral rules (Subpart F), withholding, cost sharing, and transfer pricing.

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