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Law School Grad Who Failed Bar Exam Files Lawsuit Against State Bar, Threatens To Beat Judges 'Unconscious' Unless They 'Follow The GOT DAMN LAW!!!!!!!'

Holy crap.

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Every now and then, a motion is filed that’s so beautifully written that we simply wouldn’t be able to do it justice by describing it in words. Instead, we’re just going to show it to you.

Prepare to feast your eyes upon a doozy of filing. This isn’t your ordinary pro se filing, mind you. This one was prepared by Zundria Crawford, a 2014 graduate of Western Michigan University Thomas M. Cooley Law. Crawford went on to fail the July 2015 Mississippi bar exam, an administration of the test where only 51 percent of candidates were able to pass. Instead of retaking the exam, Crawford filed suit against the Mississippi Board of Bar Admissions, and she’s been in court ever since, trying to turn her failing grade into a passing one. (Keep in mind that if you fail the bar exam three times in this state, you need to go back to law school.) From alleging that her exam was misgraded to alleging that she’d discovered the state bar was involved in a cheating scheme and colluding with the NCBE to fail unsuspecting law school graduates, Crawford may keep getting knocked down but her court filings have gotten more and more interesting (and eloquent) as the years have passed.

From the plaintiff referring to the justices of the Mississippi Supreme Court as “proven tyrants, hypocrites, criminals, and tortfeasors” to crazy asides like “(Crawford laughs and laughs and laughs since these ‘dumb bastards’ had the audacity TO CHEAT on Crawford’s July 2015 MS Bar Exam and question Crawford’s ‘qualifications’ to practice law. § 97-11-1: § 73-3-2(2)(b)),” to insisting that “you disgusting muthafuckas [the Supreme Court justices] are going to follow the got damn law in THIS CASE if you have never followed the law in yo GOT DAMN LIFE!!!!,” her latest motion is a must read. Plus, she even cites to Above the Law a few times.

This is just a sample of the incredible legal rhetoric you’ll find in this legal pleading:

You shove all of this aristocratic bullshit all up in everybody else’s face and you don’t even follow the law ya damn self! Crawford shall proceed to beat y’all’s asses unconscious, kick your asses in court, and then kick your asses again and shake your hands when she’s done. And when we get through, ain’t gonn’ be no hard feelings either. (Movie: Harlem Nights, 1989).

Behold, a legal masterpiece. (Click here to download.)

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Staci ZaretskyStaci Zaretsky is a senior editor at Above the Law, where she’s worked since 2011. She’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to email her with any tips, questions, comments, or critiques. You can follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

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