Biglaw

Landlord Refuses To Rent To Lawyers, Which Doesn't Sound Shady At All

There are so many legitimate reasons to keep lawyers out!

By  
on

Every year or so we hear about another lawyer or law student encountering a curious bit of professional discrimination. When seeking out a new apartment, the landlord will hand over a boilerplate lease with a buried provision right next to “no pets” where the tenant commits to not being a lawyer.

At least that’s the usual, sneaky way that it gets worked in. Sometimes, like in this email a tipster sent us today, the landlord comes right out and says it:

As I said, this company is not unique, but perusing the company website, I came up with this:

That’s the most painfully Boston thing I’ve seen since Marky Mark ate a lobstah roll riding on Wally the Green Monster’s back.

Attorneys are not a protected class and landlords can and do discriminate based on people’s jobs all the time. Usually they’re doing it because they don’t think the tenant can make rent with their current occupation, rather than locking out the prototypical professional.

Sponsored

But why are landlords refusing to rent to legally skilled tenants? Let’s brainstorm some possible reasons!

  • Neighbors complain about sight of walking shell of human being.
  • Fear that next big bonus might lead tenant to abandon lease for bigger apartment as opposed to servicing $250K debt.
  • Constant bing of handheld device registering increasingly insistent partner emails throughout the night.
  • Never know when an ERISA lawyer is going to lose it and start screaming in the courtyard about vesting and backloading.
  • Tenants coming home at 4:30 a.m. are a real drag for the late night keggers everyone else in the complex likes to throw.
  • The recycling hub isn’t built for this much yellow legal pad paper.
  • Cascade of gentle sobbing throughout the weekend too much for other tenants.
  • Sometimes the rest of the building just wants to discuss Suits in peace without someone pointing out that it makes no goddamned sense.
  • The week after the first adverse possession lecture is always a nightmare.
  • You can’t get the full deposit back after painting a mural of The Creation of Adam with a naked Antonin Scalia touching the hand of God.

Or, as the tipster put it:

No doubt the reason must be because they don’t want to hear constant arguing over originalism vs natural law, and not at all because a law student/lawyer would be able to notice illegal things they’re up to.

Yeah, it’s probably all the originalism and not serious concern that a tenant with a basic grasp of building codes will eat into a profit margin inflated by putting off required upgrades. Definitely the originalism.

Sponsored

HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.

Topics

, , , ,