Health / Wellness

How My Battle With COVID-19 Taught Me It’s Okay To Take Those Sick Days

If you’re a lawyer who battled COVID-19, how did you handle your recovery?

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On Monday, March 15, 2021, I tested positive for COVID-19. My husband tested positive the week before, and while I spent that prior week feverishly pushing food and necessary items for him under a pass-through while he was in isolation, I knew in my gut that it was only a matter of time before I would test positive. Only for me, the wave of the virus would hit 10 times harder.

During a Zoom presentation on a Friday afternoon to an audience of over 500, I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I knew something wasn’t right, but I pushed myself to get through it. I then spent that entire weekend in bed. By Monday morning, I was already overcome with fever, body aches, chills, and night sweats. I drove myself to urgent care to get tested and knew within an hour I was positive. I started to email clients and prospective clients, letting them know what was happening. I cancelled as many calls that week as I could. By Thursday, I felt as though I had a 100-lb. weighted vest permanently attached to my chest. Even a short walk to the bathroom had me out of breath. The chest X-ray at urgent care showed I had inflammation in my lungs, and I was put on heavy steroids to reduce the swelling. My husband then drove me to the hospital where I sat for several hours hooked up to an IV for an antibody infusion. With an already compromised immune system, I knew I needed to undertake every possible recovery alternative, so I wouldn’t spiral further.

All I could think about while getting the infusion was how would I pause a full calendar of projects that extended eight-plus weeks? What would clients say? Would they understand how serious this virus was? What about speaking engagements and other events I had already committed to? As a solo business owner, I worried with immense trepidation because I had no control over what was happening to me or my body.

My mind immediately flashed back to my days of practicing law where a “sick day” meant working from your bed and being required to make up the billable time. Only with COVID-19, it was impossible to work or create extra hours of time. I had zero stamina or energy, and my body just laid there completely lifeless under multiple blankets. I slept 12 to 14-plus hours a day. I tried to tell myself the next day would be better. I waited. More than 10 days passed before I could even sit up at my desk. Pre-COVID, I was up at 5 a.m. daily and could easily work until 5 p.m. with no qualms. Almost two weeks into COVID, I sat at my desk and my stamina cut off after an hour. I would suddenly be overcome with so much fatigue that I needed to lay down in bed for several hours. The vicious cycle continued.

As a solo business owner, it was difficult to grasp the reality of needing to shut down and block off my calendar so I could recover from COVID-19. For so many years, I was conditioned to never take a sick day. I remember managing partners lecturing me about how clients expected us to be available 24/7 even if we had the flu. You got extra points if you showed up to work with a fever and locked yourself in your office just to get your billables in. I was taught to suck it up and push through a virus while sleeping with my Blackberry next to me ready to answer the partner or client at any hour of the day.

COVID-19 threw me for a loop. I wasn’t prepared for it physically or mentally. I changed clothes multiple times in a night because the sweat would pour off of me like I had just completed a CrossFit workout in a sauna. Some days felt like I was on the road to recovery, and then a wave of fatigue, body aches, and chills would start back up again.

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Lying in bed for so many days and hours brought me to a very dark place. I would swivel from anger to sadness to frustration and then to despair. The body aches magnified my emotions and my feeling of helplessness and isolation. I disconnected from social media to focus on my recovery. I responded to emails from my phone in between bouts of sleep. Daily texts from family and friends were often the only thing that kept me going on the roller coaster of COVID-19.

These past few weeks have taught me that I need to be forgiving of myself. It’s okay to need an extension on a project. It’s OK to say no to that extra speaking engagement or extraneous project. It’s OK to reschedule calls. It’s OK to step away from work when you aren’t at your best. It’s OK to let your body rest and recharge. There is no shame in telling others you are battling COVID-19. It’s given me grace and patience for myself that I don’t need to always push harder, work extra hours to overdeliver on a project, or show up on social media to stay relevant. It’s perfectly okay to allow yourself the sick days to care for yourself, physically and mentally. As I continue down the long road of COVID-19 recovery, I am reminding myself of these mantras daily and creating this important affirmation: I am human (not superhuman), and my well-being is a priority.

If you’re a lawyer who battled COVID-19, I’d love to hear from you and how you handled your recovery. If you’re a managing attorney, I hope my story encourages you to show grace to your associates and their families as they recover from COVID-19.

Wendi Weiner is an attorney, career expert, and founder of The Writing Guru, an award-winning executive resume writing services company. Wendi creates powerful career and personal brands for attorneys, executives, and C-suite/Board leaders for their job search and digital footprint. She also writes for major publications about alternative careers for lawyers, personal branding, LinkedIn storytelling, career strategy, and the job search process. You can reach her by email at wendi@writingguru.net, connect with her on LinkedIn, and follow her on Twitter @thewritingguru.  

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