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How To Set Better (And Healthier) Boundaries In Your Career

What is your end goal? What are you trying to prove by working so hard? Who are you trying to impress?

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I need a break…As you enter your legal career, you’re excited to land your first associate attorney role and see the fruits of your labor (i.e., that paycheck). You eagerly show up early to the office, stay late after the partners leave, put in weekend hours, and you eagerly take on the extra research/memo projects that your boss shovels out. You feel a sense of pride and excitement when the managing partner compliments your work product and work ethic.

Year after year, you continue pushing yourself, stretching your boundaries further out, citing that they are simply part of “paying your dues.” You miss out on extracurriculars and other nonwork activities because long hours are just the nature of the profession. You remind yourself how you were conditioned to outwork and outperform — some of which is that Type A personality that helped you excel during your three years of law school and the bar exam.

For the 12 years I practiced law, I consistently took on more work than was expected of me. I always volunteered for the projects no one else wanted, and I willingly put in the late nights and weekend hours. That same work ethic carried over into my entrepreneurial journey — for more than six years, I easily worked 12 to 14 hours a day, tacked on extra hours at night and on the weekends, and I always gave myself shorter deadlines to impress clients.

Hard work paid off, and my professional and financial success grew at a rapid rate — long client waitlists, happy clients sending more business in the form of referrals, pages and pages of articles and media features, large-scale speaking engagements, etc. I exceeded financial metrics I never dreamed of ascertaining.

While the massive success felt good and fulfilling, on the other side of it, I was juggling extreme fatigue and frustration for being spread so thin but always inevitably saying “yes” to others. My anxiety and high-performing pressure spiraled at a rapid rate — externally I had it all together, but internally, I was exhausted and often resentful watching others who bragged and boasted about not working late nights or weekends and always being present for family, friends, wine tastings, and vacations.

At a certain point, I began to ask myself: What is my end goal? What am I trying to prove by working so hard? Who am I trying to impress? How much longer can I truly continue to work at this pace, and do I want to?

One of the managing attorneys in my last in-house counsel role referred to me as the “doormat employee” — always overextending myself and always saying yes, and thus, always being a doormat for others to step on.

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It hit me like a ton of bricks. Throughout my legal career, there was an overarching theme: I never implemented work boundaries. She was just the first to call me out on it.

Of course, on the opposite end of the spectrum was a senior counsel who constantly bragged about his “work smart, not hard” mentality. Of course, he was the last one in the office door in the mornings, the first one out when the clock struck 5 p.m., the one who always took a lunch break, and of course, the one who always passed on the extra projects. He made it look so effortless.

I hit a roadblock last year during the pandemic when I suffered through COVID-19 and other personal losses. I began to draw boundaries because my physical, mental, and emotional health required it. I had no choice but to scale back and prioritize myself. For the first time, I accepted the fact that I am just one person and there are only so many calls, emails, documents, etc. that I can handle in a single day. Only this time, I took actionable steps to create boundaries. I remembered my managing attorney’s words, and I used them as a guide to implement the boundaries.

Two years into the pandemic, we can all admit to the struggles of setting boundaries. Some of this is due to a lack of separation between home and work since they now occur in the same physical place. Other portions of it are due to having more time to think about what work means to us and what we want our work-life balance to look like.

Perhaps you’ve even asked yourself: is there more to life than lawyering?

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In conversations with clients, I ask them: what does your exit strategy look like for your career? How do those last five to 10 years of work look like for you? How has COVID changed that strategy?

As a recovering people-pleaser and “doormat employee,” I knowingly admit just how challenging it is to define boundaries. Our lack of boundaries in the workplace can often transcend into our personal lives, making it even harder to stop bad behavior felt in relationships and friendships.

Remember, boundaries also look different to different people. Some boundaries occur in not responding to evening emails until the next day, limiting being available after 6 p.m. for work-related calls, or even holding off on responding to nonurgent emails that come in over the weekend. For some, it’s checking their emails at set hours in the day or in blocks of time instead of responding to each email as it comes in. For others, it’s holding consultations or client meetings at specific times rather than making themselves readily available.

Work boundaries are imperative — they protect our internal energy, our time, and our sanity. They also keep us fueled for success and grounded in our professional and personal existence.

The key is to be clear, specific, and honest when setting boundaries — both with yourself and those at work. I remind myself that my own boundary setting is a work in progress — it’s never perfect, and it’s always being modified to the situation.

Going forward in 2022, how are you creating better and healthier boundaries for your career?

Wendi Weiner is an attorney, career expert, and founder of The Writing Guru, an award-winning executive resume writing services company. Wendi creates powerful career and personal brands for attorneys, executives, and C-suite/Board leaders for their job search and digital footprint. She also writes for major publications about alternative careers for lawyers, personal branding, LinkedIn storytelling, career strategy, and the job search process. You can reach her by email at wendi@writingguru.net, connect with her on LinkedIn, and follow her on Twitter @thewritingguru.  

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