Government

Mississippi Just Declared Its 30th Confederate Heritage Month. How Is That Constitutional?

I think they should commit to the bit and pass National Red Coat Appreciation Month, too.

By  
on
General Robert Edmund Lee

The Biggest Loser before it was a TV show.

The Constitution marks off betraying one’s country and levying war against it as treason. For whatever reason, being pro-Confederate is not considered being pro-treason.

I would not be surprised to discover that many Jan. 6ers consider themselves walking in the footsteps of the Confederates, considering that they brought Confederate flags and all — but I admit that this is an aside.

Greater than it still being okay to openly say “The Confederates Did Nothing Wrong,” this shameful part of our history is actually a reason for celebration in some parts of the U.S. And of course, one of them is Mississippi.

“For the last 30 years, five Mississippi governors—Republicans and Democrats alike—have signed a proclamation recognizing the statutory state holiday and identifying April as Confederate Heritage Month,” the statement read. “Gov. Reeves also signed the proclamation because he believes we can all learn from our history.”

What history, bro? I don’t know which think tank did the phenomenal job of convincing people the mere use of the word “agenda” is the same thing as using a compelling argument, but it was probably the same one that has been ramming the importance of the Confederacy down people’s throats. Governors in Ole Miss have been celebrating the Confederacy for the last 30 years? That’s embarrassing! It’s like the pomp and circumstance version of Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico talking about how he could have gone pro in high school. Do they need to be reminded that the Confederacy only lasted four years? All this Confederate “pride” is about a pro-slavery thing that lasted about as long as a presidential term… and they lost! There’s a difference between learning your history and being obsessed with water under the bridge. That’s called narcissism.

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Narcissus

Oh wow, I’ve been LARPing as a guy walking in Robert E Lee’s footsteps all this time!

The Confederacy and The Alamo were mere blips in this country’s duration and their constant romanticization gets read as maintaining pride in one’s legacy, but if you mention the centuries of chattel slavery that the Confederates wanted to maintain, you’re the one race-baiting and resentful, according to an esteemed Penn Law faculty member who is still on payroll. And don’t even get me started on the absolute fervor that appears when a statue of one of these losers even gets suggested to be taken down. Talk about begging for a participation trophy.

And lastly, calling the Confederacy losers is not an ad hominem. Given that they lost. Thankfully. Gratefully. Longitudinally. Etc.

Gov. Reeves Declares April Confederate Heritage Month and Genocide Awareness Month [Mississippi Free Press]

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Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

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