Dennis Hastert

* Elon musk has joined the list of celebrities who have behaved poorly at depositions. [Business Insider]

* A Texas lawyer has been convicted of scamming Colombian drug dealers out of $1.5M. Guess there is no honor among theives. [Dallas Morning News]

* Lawyers have sought a delay of the trial involving former House Speaker Dennis Hastert’s alleged agreement to pay hush money to a former student. [NBC Chicago]

* A California court has found that a municipality’s requirement that city attorneys graduate from an ABA-approved law school is constitutional. This seems like a pretty basic requirement. [The Recorder]

* A copyright lawsuit about Taylor Swift’s song “Shake It Off” has been revived. I’m not going to make the same lazy joke about this story that pretty much every news source has already made… [USA Today]

* Two California law firms have settled a suit alleging that they engaged in a civil RICO conspiracy by filing ADA claims and forcing defendants to fork over quick settlements to avoid costly litigation. [ABA Journal]

* The first lawsuit against a fertility doctor accused of substituting his own sperm for that of an anonymous donor has been filed. This story sounds like a bad version of that Vince Vaughn flick. Delivery Man [CBS Denver]

* You’ve probably heard by now — Democrat Doug Jones is the newly elected Senator from Alabama. Donald Trump has accepted his party’s defeat in the Republican stronghold, but Roy Moore has yet to concede. [CNN]

* Rod Rosenstein will testify in front of the the House Judiciary Committee today. He’s expected to face questions about special counsel, Robert Mueller,  and potential conflicts of interest. [Los Angeles Times]

* Former House speaker Dennis Hastert is not to be left alone with children. That’s one of several new conditions federal district judge Thomas Durkin placed on Hastert, who pleaded guilty in 2015 to violating federal banking laws in connection with a scheme to cover-up his sexual abuse of teenage boys. [Washington Post]

* Senator Chuck Schumer does not play. He called the police after a forged document began circulating falsely accusing the senator of sexual harassment. [Axios]

* The Ninth Circuit upheld the constitutionality of the Federal Arbitration Act. The plaintiffs claimed AT&T falsely advertised their “unlimited” service plans; the novel legal issue asked the court to hold AT&T be considered as acting for the state. [Law.com]

* Mecklenburg County, N.C. went public with their decision not to pay after being hit with a ransomware attack. Their data was backed up, the best defense against this kind of cyber attack. [Big Law Business]

* Welcome to the Trump era! Have you considered pro bono work? [The American Lawyer]

* Speaking of Republican leadership, former Speaker and Dickstein Shapiro alum Dennis Hastert trying to get out of paying the rest of that hush money that landed him in prison. [ABA Journal]

* To the tune of Paula Cole’s magnum opus: Where have all the ampersands gone? [The Am Law Daily]

* A profile of Nancy Hollander, the lawyer who won Chelsea Manning’s clemency. [The Litigation Daily]

* Good tips on how to attract and keep the lawyer of the future. But I assume we’ll all just keep condescending to them anyway. [Law360]

* Could it be? Could she really do such a thing? Rumor has it that Amal Clooney may be quitting her law firm job at Doughty Street Chambers to become a fashion designer for the likes of fashion house Oscar de la Renta. We may have more on this later today. [Inquisitr]

* Maryland’s AG intends to contest a ruling granting “Serial” podcast subject Adnan Syed a new trial, saying that the state would “defend what it believes is a valid conviction.” Syed has been servicing a life sentence for the murder of Hae Min Lee since 2000. [Baltimore Sun]

* Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert may be behind bars for a 15-month term for attempting to conceal secret payments to his underage sexual assault victims in a cover-up scheme, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to fight a lawsuit seeking the full $3.5 million he allegedly said he would pay to buy a victim’s silence. [Chicago Tribune]

* Vermont Law School, which was hit relatively hard by the recession in terms of its ability to fill its seats, has applied for a $15 million loan from the federal government to help restructure its debts. Unlike what its students face in terms of their debt, the law school may be able to get a good interest rate upon approval. [VTDigger / Valley News]

* “[A]ttempting to fit the sale of Bitcoin into a statutory scheme regulating money services businesses is like fitting a square peg in a round hole.” Congratulations (or perhaps condolences?) digital currency aficionados, because a judge just ruled that Bitcoin isn’t money for the purposes of money-laundering statutes. [WSJ Law Blog]

The salary wars that started in New York have spurred this firm into action.

Hastert would not have been prosecuted by the United States Department of Justice if he were simply another old retired wrestling coach with a bad past.

Dennis Hastert may not be a good guy, but his sentencing far exceeded the specific crime that landed him in court.

A well-deserved loss for these Biglaw partners.

* Dig if you will the picture, of you and I engaged in a… probate battle? Uh-oh! In documents filed in a Carver County, Minnesota, probate court, Prince’s sister, Tyka Nelson, claims that the music icon — whose estate is said to have been valued at about $300 million — died without a will. [USA Today]

* “[L]ook, if he’s not our nominee, I think he would be a great replacement for Scalia.” Despite the fact that Senator Ted Cruz previously insisted that he wasn’t interested in being nominated to replace the late Antonin Scalia as a SCOTUS justice, House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La.) thinks Cruz is the man for the job. [The Hill]

* Dentons says $2 million was “erroneously allocated” to McKenna Long & Aldridge partners during a merger with Luce Forward, and now the Biglaw behemoth really wants the money back. Partner’s aren’t pleased, griping that “this is a cautionary tale for anyone thinking of merging with Dentons.” [National Law Journal via Big Law Business]

* Today is sentencing day for former House Speaker Dennis Hastert. The accused child abuser faces up to five years in prison for attempting to cover up his hush-money payoffs, but prosecutors have asked that he serve no more than six months. We wonder how his Biglaw supporters will feel if he receives a stiff sentence. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* Indiana Tech Law School will soon hold a commencement ceremony for its inaugural graduating class of 21 students. These soon-to-be law school graduates say that one of the main reasons they chose to attend the school was its low cost of tuition. Not having a lot of debt is a great thing when your job prospects are uncertain. Congrats! [21Alive]

* John LaTorre, the former chief financial officer of Barry Law School, recently pleaded guilty to second-degree grand theft after spending tens of thousands of dollars on school corporate card to finance his Hooters outings and pay his utilities bills. LaTorre faces up to 10 years of probation and will have to pay the school $24,838 in restitution in monthly payments of at least $175. [Orlando Sentinel]

* Professor Sujit Choudhry may have resigned from his position as dean of Berkeley Law School after being accused in a sexual harassment scandal, but now he says the school is trying to strip him of his tenure, and he’s not going to go down without a fight. In a grievance letter, Choudhry claims school officials smeared him in the press and violated his due process rights. We’ll have more on this development later today. [WSJ Law Blog]

* This “sets back every blind person who wants to be a lawyer out there”: Three blind law students have filed a proposed class-action lawsuit against BARBRI, alleging that the bar exam test preparation company violated the Americans with Disabilities Act by failing to properly accommodate them with usable study materials, thereby “preventing them from fully, equally, and adequately preparing for the bar exam.” [Dallas Morning News]

* Just when you thought this ugly legal dispute couldn’t get any messier, one of Dennis Hastert’s sexual assault accusers decided to sue the former Speaker of the House for breach of contract. Identified as James Doe in his pleadings, he alleges that Hastert agreed to pay him $3.5M in hush money for keeping quiet about the abuse he endured when he was a teen, but thus far, he’s only seen $1.7M of those funds. [CBS Chicago]

* It’s late April, and if you’re still looking for advice on your personal statement for your law school applications, then you’re probably already in trouble. However, if you’re desperate for a helpful hint even this late in the game and your law school of choice has a late submission deadline, you may want to try including a thesis — it’ll keep your essay from becoming a regurgitation of your résumé. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Professor Victor Williams of the Catholic University of America School of Law, who’s been called the “Republican Lawrence Lessig” by some, is running a write-in campaign for president with the sole intent of eliminating Ted Cruz as a candidate due to his birth in Canada. He alleges that the Texas senator committed ballot access fraud by falsely swearing that he was a natural born citizen. Thanks to Williams’s allegations, a primary disqualification hearing is being held today in New Jersey. [PR Newswire]

* Does SCOTUS have a diversity problem? One justice thinks so. In the wake of President Obama calling attention to his nominee’s whiteness, Justice Sonia Sotomayor noted the Court’s homogeneity, saying that SCOTUS is currently at a “disadvantage from having [five] Catholics, three Jews, [and] everyone from an Ivy League school.” [TIME]

* Here’s an interesting theory: According to Patterson Belknap senior partner Gregory Diskant, because the Senate has failed to give President Obama its advice and consent with regard to his Supreme Court nominee, it can be said the Senate waived its rights, leaving Obama free to appoint Judge Garland to the high court. [Washington Post]

* “There is something seductively subversive about having a name that has a secondary street meaning, which, by the way, is not necessarily a bad thing to think of your lawyers as being.” MoFo — a law firm that’s perhaps known as Morrison & Foerster in more conservative circles — has fully embraced its sexy “street name.” [Big Law Business]

* Prosecutors say former House speaker and disgraced Dickstein Shapiro partner Dennis Hastert paid $3.5M to silence a boy he sexually abused, and molested at least four more children. Because the statutes of limitations have long since run on those crimes, he’ll likely serve only six months for banking crimes related to his hush-money payoffs. [AP]

* John Stamos of Full House fame was formally charged with driving under the influence earlier this week following his arrest for erratic driving this summer. He faces up to six months in jail if convicted. We have faith that his beautiful hair will survive time in the slammer. [USA Today]

* While the vast majority of the law school lawsuits containing allegations related to deceptive employment statistics have been dismissed, a few are still alive and kicking. The very first one filed — Alaburda v. Thomas Jefferson School of Law — is heading to trial in 2016. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Trick or treat? Per federal prosecutors, former House Speaker Dennis Hastert will plead guilty before Halloween as part of a deal in his ongoing sexual misconduct hush-money case, but whether he’ll serve time is a question that’s yet to be answered. [Reuters]

* Headcount at real estate firms with once-prominent foreclosure practices continues to shrink thanks to the recession’s end. To that effect, two Chicago firms have eliminated hundreds of positions for legal professionals since 2013. [Chicago Business Journal]

* Thanks to a new online system, Northwestern Law will be able to interview prospective students any time, anywhere. The school is the first in the country to offer awkward casting couch sessions as part of its admissions process. [Northwestern University News]

* PETA’s general counsel swears his organization isn’t monkeying around when it comes to asserting the IP rights of Naruto the selfie-taking monkey, but he may have to deal with a jungle of jurisdictional issues first. [Motherboard / VICE]

* Mmmm, Dewey smell a mistrial? On the eighth day of deliberations in the criminal trial of D&L’s former leaders, the jurors likely made defense counsels’ hearts skip a beat when they asked the judge for instructions on what to do concerning their undecided colleagues. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Chief Justice John Roberts, who has voted conservatively in 85 percent of the Supreme Court’s most divisive 5-4 decisions, apparently isn’t conservative enough for our conservatives. It’s the damn Affordable Care Act. Thanks, Obama. [New York Times]

* According to the latest Acritas Global Elite Law Firm Brand Index 2015, for the sixth year running, Baker & McKenzie has the most recognizable Biglaw brand in the world. DLA Piper will continue to “churn [those] bill[s], baby!” in second place. [PR Web]

* Take the deal: Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who’s accused of hiding large sums used as hush money to conceal his prior sexual misconduct, is negotiating a plea deal with prosecutors. If he were convicted at trial, he’d face up to 10 years in prison. [Reuters]

The Hastert prosecution, in other words, is a fight in our criminal courts about the government’s belief that it has a right to know more about us than we want the government to know.

* The number of law school applicants and applications continues to plummet, with applicants down by 2.5 percent and the volume of applications down by 4.6 percent since last year. For the love of God, students are staying away for a reason. Do some research, people. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Lawyers may be thanking their lucky stars for loan repayment programs like IBR and PAYE, but when their cancellation of debt income comes back to bite them in the ass in the form of a “tax bomb” as early as 2032, they’re going to be crying for mercy. [TaxProf Blog]

* If the Supreme Court rules against same-sex marriage, life could devolve into chaos for gay and lesbian couples. Sure, SCOTUS could do that, or “a giant meteor could fall on [your] head in the next five seconds,” but one is more likely to happen than the other. [AP]

* You had one job, Dean Cercone… ONE JOB! After recommending against accreditation back in May, the ABA convened this week to officially deny provisional accreditation to Indiana Tech Law. Its handful of students will be so disappointed. [Indiana Lawyer]

* Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert pleaded not guilty in his sex scandal cover-up case and was released on $4,500 bond. Interestingly enough, the judge has volunteered to remove himself due to some potential issues over his impartiality. [New York Times]

* Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, most recently of Dickstein Shapiro, finally found a lawyer to represent him in his sex scandal cover-up. His new lawyer may not be “the brightest guy in the world,” but he does do white-collar defense at Sidley Austin, so there you go. [National Law Journal]

* Oopsie! A Tennessee lawyer is currently being held on $15 million bail because he allegedly solicited an undercover police officer to kill his estranged wife. He even gave the guy a “down payment for the murder.” We wonder how much he thought his spouse was worth dead. [Nashville Sun Times]

* In times like these, you’re going to need a great network in order to get a job after law school, and some schools are superior to others in that department. Check and see if your alma mater made the grade on this ranking. [Business Insider via GraduatePrograms.com]

* Concordia Law just received the gift that keeps on giving from the ABA — provisional accreditation. The news came just in time for its nine remaining third-year students to graduate and take the bar exam (everyone else transferred out). [Idaho Statesman]

* Kalief Browder, a man used as an example of our broken justice system, was sent to Riker’s Island when he was 16 years old. He never had a trial, and was never convicted, but still spent three years in jail. He recently committed suicide. RIP. [New York Times]

* C. Michael Kamps, the man who filed a pro se suit against Baylor Law with claims that he was denied admission because his GPA predated grade inflation, recently lost his bid to get SCOTUS to review his case. It’s too bad — he seems like a total gunner. [ABA Journal]

* If you thought that Ruth Bader Ginsburg was the biggest celebutante justice on the Supreme Court, then you’d be dead wrong. According to Professor Rick Hasen’s research, it’s Sonia Sotomayor who’s stealing the spotlight at the high court. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Senator Elizabeth Warren, the queen of taking Wall Street to task, now has her sights set on SEC Chairwoman Mary Jo White. In a 13-page letter, the politician called the former Debevoise partner’s tenure “extremely disappointing.” [DealBook / New York Times]

* Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert’s arraignment was rescheduled from this Thursday to next Tuesday. No reason was given for the change, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that there’s still “no attorney of record” on the case. [National Law Journal]

* Many doctors are hoping that tort reform will save them from litigating their malpractice cases, but there’s an easy alternative. In order to be sued less often, doctors should try to talk more to their patients. What a novel concept. [The Upshot / New York Times]

* A litigant with a Supreme pimp hand? Darius Clark, the man whose child-abuse case — which is currently before SCOTUS — will determine whether teachers may testify of behalf children, was indicted for allegedly running a prostitution ring from jail. [Northeast Ohio Media Group]

* Judge Mark Fuller of the Middle District of Alabama was arrested last summer on domestic violence charges after his wife confronted him about an alleged affair with a law clerk. What a gent! He’ll be resigning from the bench August 1. [USA Today]

* You can roll your eyes at Rand Paul all you want, but several key parts of the Patriot Act expired shortly after midnight because the Senate was unable to reach a deal to extend it. (FYI, DOJ may still use grandfathered privacy-poaching techniques.) [New York Times]

* “Nothing changes. The system is disgusting. There is no due process.” Do you want to read the story that made Cuba’s government ban an American legal journalist from any further coverage of the country’s court system? Of course you do. [Daily Business Review]

* “I can’t preserve caution in my delight with Ruth.” This is what retired Justice David Souter wrote about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s performance after her first week on the bench. He already knew back then that she was no-no-no-NOTORIOUS. [Boston Globe]

* Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who recently resigned from Dickstein Shapiro following his indictment, was allegedly paying a former student “hundreds of thousands of dollars” to keep quiet about past sexual abuse at the politician’s hands. [New York Times]

* Beau Biden, former state attorney general of Delaware, major in the Delaware Army National Guard’s JAG Corps, and son of Vice President Joe Biden, RIP. [Washington Post]

* It may have taken two years, but Lindsay Lohan finally completed her community service for her reckless driving conviction. In other news, for the first time in almost eight years, the Hollywood has-been is off probation. Yay! [Los Angeles Times]

* A former staff attorney at Drinker Biddle was suspended from practice after overbilling his time doing doc review work by just a tad — 418.5 hours, to be exact. He owes the firm $12,500 to be paid in monthly installments of $100. [Legal Intelligencer]

* An ex-assistant dean and a professor at Cleveland-Marshall Law filed suit against Dean Craig Boise, claiming he retaliated against them after they assisted the faculty in unionizing. This, after they were offered raises of $0 or $666. [Northeast Ohio Media]

* Someone’s allegedly been a very bad boy: Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert was indicted by a federal grand jury for lying to the FBI in an attempt to conceal payoffs to a third party to cover up his “prior bad acts.” We wonder what those “bad acts” were… [BuzzFeed News]

* We bet you didn’t know that if you get convicted for sex on the beach you’d have to serve jail time and register as a sex offender. Protip: Don’t let 3-year-olds catch you doing the dirty in public. You’ll regret it for life (or until you win an appeal). [Bradenton Herald]

Is this just good public relations, or is the firm on to something?