* Michael Cohen's lawyers have argued that President Trump's former personal lawyer should leave prison early because of COVID-19. A lot of lawyers seem to be making hay of the COVID-19 pandemic. [Yahoo News]
* A San Antonio attorney has been arrested for firing a gun outside of his ex-girlfriend's workplace and stealing from her car. [San Antonio Current]
* Apparently, attorneys in Kentucky can threaten to kill each other without fear of facing bar consequences. [Courier Journal]
* A Texas inmate's execution has been delayed because his attorney argued that holding the execution might help spread COVID-19. [CBS News]
* New York has suspended debt collection efforts due to issues surrounding COVID-19. Don't go crazy on your credit cards, the suspension is only scheduled to last 30 days. [Hill]
* An 80-year-old atheist has won a lawsuit allowing him to have "IM GOD" on his license plates. Only Morgan Freeman should have those tags. [The Hill]
* Harvey Weinstein's lawyer is being accused of improperly influencing the jury after publishing an op-ed piece about the case. [New York Daily News]
* The Oregon Bar has denied admission to an ex-cop who used his badge to exploit vulnerable women for sex. [The Oregonian]
* The Idaho parents of two missing children have moved to Hawaii as officials have faced difficulties bringing charges against the couple. [Knewz]
* An Ohio lawyer has been suspended from practice for having sex with a client. [Bloomberg Law]
* There is a pretty amazing 97-year-old attorney who is trying what could be his 100th murder trial in my stomping ground. [NorthJersey.com]
Proper trust accounting and three-way reconciliation are essential for protecting client funds and avoiding serious compliance risks. In this guide, we break down these critical processes and show how legal-specific software can help your firm stay accurate, efficient, and audit-ready.
* A lawyer removed from Second Circuit oral arguments last month has petitioned for an en banc review of the matter he was arguing. If at first you don't succeed... [New York Law Journal]
* An attorney argued that a Manhattan building was safe months before debris fell from a facade killing a woman on the sidewalk below. [Wall Street Journal]
* Adult film actresses have won a multi-million dollar verdict against a website that allegedly deceived them into being filmed. [Washington Times]
* Over 200 members of Congress have asked the Supreme Court to reconsider its landmark Roe v. Wade ruling. That's not how the system works. [CNN]
* The Kentucky Attorney General has asked the FBI to investigate the ex-governor's pardons after he went on a pardoning spree before leaving office. [USA Today]
* A woman is suing Marriott for allegedly forcing her to sign a "no party policy" because of her race. Apparently, there ain't no party like a Marriott party. [Fox News]
* An attorney who put price tags for cheaper items on more expensive products at Walmart has just received a one-year stayed suspension from practice. [Bloomberg Law]
* A plaintiffs lawyer involved in litigation against Monsanto has been charged with extortion for offering to cease legal action against a large company in exchange for a $200 million consulting fee. Hasn't Michael Avenatti taught this lawyer anything? [CBS News]
* Boeing has been hit with another lawsuit involving its 737 Max jets. [CNN]
* The first African-American Attorney General in the history of Kentucky was sworn in this week. [NBC News]
* An attorney has been suspended for among other things submitting fake expense receipts for an ABA conference. [Bloomberg Law].
* It's been a while since Above the Law published a "Lawyerly Lairs" segment, but check out famed "Making a Murderer" attorney Kathleen Zellner's pad, which just hit the market. [Chicago Tribune]
* Roger Stone left early from his trial yesterday because he complained of food poisoning. At least this is better than R. Kelly's infected toenail excuse... [CNN]
* An attorney alleged to have smuggled a hit list out of jail has been denied the reinstatement of her law license. [East Bay Times]
* Attorneys for Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes have filed a motion to withdraw from the case, stating that they haven't been paid for more than a year. Holmes has come a long way from paying numerous attorneys hefty fees to go after Theranos whistleblowers. [CNBC]
* The Prime Minister of Antigua and Barbuda has asked that Harvard Law make reparations to that country for the impact Antiguan slave labor had on the creation of Harvard Law School. [Toronto Star]
* A celebrated cellist has won $11M in a slip and fall lawsuit against an upscale food market. That's a lot of cheddar. [New York Post]
* Kentucky elected its first African American attorney general last night. [The Hill]
* The Supreme Court yesterday seemed to frown upon North Carolina's use of copyrighted images of a pirate ship that sunk off its shores. If you want to see good images of a pirate ship, there's a ride you should check out... [USA Today]
* Republicans' control over the Senate grew after the midterm elections, but Democrats managed to take the House. Here are six interesting reasons why that means President Donald Trump could be in "huge legal trouble" now. [Law & Crime]
* Florida voters approved an amendment to their state constitution to restore felons' voting rights, which will now be automatically restored after prison time is completed and restitution paid. That's at least 1.4 million more voters! [Orlando Sentinel]
* Remember Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who was jailed after she refused to sign marriage licenses for same-sex couples? Last night, she lost her reelection campaign to Elwood Caudill Jr., a Democratic challenger. [Lexington Herald Leader]
* In case you missed it, President Donald Trump chose former White House counsel and current O'Melveny of counsel A.B. Culvahouse to go Down Under to put another shrimp on the barbie serve as U.S. ambassador to Australia. [National Law Journal]
* A California appellate court has paved the way for former Winston & Strawn partner Constance Ramos to get out of an "unconscionable" arbitration agreement with the firm. This may be the first Biglaw gender bias case to make it to trial. [The Recorder]
* Sorry, but you can't deduct the cost of your law degree on your taxes because it qualified you for a new trade or business. The U.S. Tax Court says that even with a shiny new J.D. in your possession, you've only enhanced your current skills. [Law360]
* Grab 'em by the public interest: Per a new Gallup survey, pre-law students don't care about Biglaw money; no, they say the top reason to go to law school is to "pursue a career in politics, government, or other public service." [Idaho Business Review]
* A group of crypto investors has filed suit against rapper T.I., alleging that they could not have whatever they like because he tricked them into backing FLiK Token. The Rubberband Man's lawyer says, "Tip is truly disheartened by the lawsuit." [Complex]
Juno has consistently secured the best private loan deals for students at the Top MBA programs since 2018—now they’re bringing that same offer to law students, at no cost. Students can check their personalized offers at juno.us/atl
This article is for general information only and is not personal financial advice.
* "Say you'll remember me, standing in a black robe, waiting for a hearing, babe. Begging the SJC, say you will confirm me, even if it's just in my wildest dreams, ah-ha ohh." SCOTUS nominee Judge Merrick Garland has something in common with an overwhelming number of teenage girls: he loves Taylor Swift sing-alongs. That's cute! [People]
* "A judge does not check his First Amendment rights at the courthouse door." Judge Olu Stevens has filed suit against the Kentucky Judicial Conduct Commission on free-speech grounds in an attempt to stave off an ethics sanction for publicly commenting on Facebook about all-white juries and their "disproportionate and disparate impact on black defendants." [Courier-Journal]
* Hardly any partners leave Cravath, but a very important one just did, and his exit is making people talk. Scott Barshay, once a top M&A partner at the firm that tends to set the associate bonus scale, has defected to Paul Weiss, where he'll become its global head of M&A. Which clients will he take to the "dream team"? [DealBook / New York Times]
* This plaintiff's antitrust allegations against Uber's CEO may be "wildly implausible" and representative of an "impossibly unwieldy conspiracy," but in Judge Jed Rakoff's eyes, they were enough to overcome a motion to dismiss that was filed by Boies Schiller. Something tells us Uber's legal bills are going to see some surge-pricing. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Per a study by Ravel Law, in a new index that tracks federal judges by their rulings and subsequent citations to those rulings, Michigan produces the most influential judges on the federal bench, followed by Chicago, Harvard, and Yale. Harvard has finally gotten one over on Yale -- but for a measly bronze trophy. [Crain's Detroit Business]
* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector gained 1,200 jobs in March. On top of that positive news, February's numbers were revised from a loss of 1,500 jobs to a gain of 100 jobs. In any case, what with the huge discrepancy, we're happy to see Dewey's bookkeepers found new work. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]
Ed. note: Happy Holidays! Above the Law will be dark tomorrow, Christmas Day. We'll be back on Monday, December 28.
* Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin may be newly elected, but that hasn't stopped him from reneging on campaign promises. [Wonkette]
* Here's a fun hot take -- Citizens United is to blame for Donald Trump's rise, because he refuses to use Super PACs. Yeah, it's pretty convoluted, but maybe this will convince... anyone on the right to do anything about campaign finance reform. [Huffington Post]
* Krampus violates the 8th Amendment and other constitutional ruminations on Saint Nicholas's evil twin. [The Legal Geeks]
* This markup is what happens when lawyers get ahold of a Christmas carol. We should all be ashamed. [Legal Cheek]
* A bill that would prevent people from buying a gun while going through a divorce... yeah, that could be useful. [Slate]
* A New Zealand court ruled Kim Dotcom can be extradited back to the United States. [Wall Street Journal]
* If you have to send a work email on Christmas Day and you sign off this way, you are probably an asshole. [Daily Lawyer Tips]
* There are a bunch of theories to explain why crime rates have dropped over the last 25 years. [Vox]
* The ultimate California bar exam breakdown. [Bar Exam Stats]
* It's the Miss Universe pageant lawsuit you've all been waiting for: attorneys at a Colombian law firm say they will be filing suit due to Miss Colombia's crowning and de-crowning, noting "the crown is an acquired right that cannot be taken away from us.” [WGNO]
* The Federal Circuit handed down a major ruling yesterday, saying that the government can no longer bar the registration of offensive trademarks due to restrictions on free speech. This will likely be appealed to SCOTUS, but the Redskins must be pretty pumped. [Reuters]
* In an effort to avoid another Kim Davis fiasco (and to protect clerks' religious beliefs), Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin has signed an executive order directing that his state prepare new marriage licenses without the names of county clerks. [Associated Press]
* Lil Wayne may be a "motherf**kin' cash money millionaire," but he reportedly can't spare the cash to pay his attorneys' fees. This marks the second time in recent months that he's been sued for allegedly failing to pay his lawyers what they're owed. [SPIN]
* Lakeisha Holloway, the woman accused of using her car to mow down and kill a pedestrian and injure many others on the Las Vegas Strip, has been charged with murder with a deadly weapon. She faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted. [NBC News]
