* An Arkansas judge was mauled by his father's pet zebra. We hope the judge recovers, but what we'd really, really like to know is how the hell one comes to own a pet zebra in Arkansas. [KARK]
* Pregnant women on poles may officially be sexy under color of law. [EPLI Risk]
* If your law firm is trying to make you complete a marketing project in order to get your year-end bonuses -- like Quinn Emanuel -- here are some ideas for you to try. [Hellerman Baretz Communications]
* According to Robert Durst's lawyer, Chip Lewis, people mutter triple murder admissions under their breath on hot mics all the time, and it's usually not that big of deal. [Gawker]
* You're invited to an event hosted by Judge Kozinski at the Ninth Circuit courthouse, featuring discussion of Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). [Supreme Ambitions]
Real fire drills will always be there, and Mommy Dear always standing ready to put out those real fires. But she's getting burned out real quick chasing after smoke, and she have a baby to take care of, too.
* Amanda Knox, everyone's favorite convicted/acquitted/convicted murderess, just got engaged to a musician she's known since middle school. Aww, that's cute and nice, but what we'd really like to know is where she's registered for cutlery. [People]
* Loretta Lynch's confirmation vote was postponed because per Chairman Chuck Grassley, she apparently submitted dissatisfying answers to the Senate Judiciary Committee's post-hearing questions. Some says that she's being held to a double standard... likely because she is being held to a double standard. [National Law Journal]
* Yesterday afternoon, Judge Callie V.S. Granade ordered that probate judges in Alabama issue same-sex marriage licenses. Sorry Chief Justice Roy Moore, but you better get ready, because the tide of gay marriage is gonna roll. ROLL TIDE ROLL! [National Law Journal]
* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg says she's not going to give up on women's rights cases at the Supreme Court, despite the fact that she's got male colleagues who "don’t fully appreciate the arbitrary barriers that have been put in women’s way.” [Bloomberg]
* According to the latest report from Citi Private Bank Law Firm Group, Biglaw firms, "across the board," are doing better than they were last year, but the biggest Biglaw firms are doing the best, of course. We'll have more on this later today. [WSJ Law Blog]
* A Texas lawmaker has proposed a bill that would appoint legal representation to a fetus if its mother is brain dead. “You’ll hear what the family wants, and you’ll also give the pre-born child a chance to have a voice in court at that same time." [Dallas Morning News]
* New York Law School is launching a two-year law degree program, and students will only have to pay two-thirds of the $147,720 that they normally would have had to. For the record, not all two-year degree programs are cheaper. [Crain's New York Business]
* Next time on Nancy Grace: A recent graduate of Michigan State Law allegedly got a master's degree student from the school pregnant twice before he left the country. The woman allegedly murdered one of the babies, and the other is now missing. [Detroit Free Press]
* I'll just leave this right here so I won't get fined. It looks like a partner from Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton helped Marshawn Lynch trademark his nickname “Beast Mode" -- a trademark that may lead to Lynch getting a $100,000 fine from the NFL. [Am Law Daily]
* In other trademark news, Taylor Swift got approval for catchphrases from her album. “Nice to Meet You, Where You Been?” Her IP lawyers “Could Show You Incredible Things,” but you could've been getting down to "This Sick Beat.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* Gibson Dunn earned $459,000 for successfully challenging Virginia's ban on same-sex marriage, which was apparently a "sharp cut" in the fees the firm initially requested for star litigator Ted Olson's time. Poor Teddy. [National Law Journal]
* According to Am Law's latest Lateral Partners Survey, there was a 7 percent increase in lateral moves -- 2,736, to be precise -- between Oct. 1, 2013 and Sept. 30, 2014. Guaranteed pay packages, though, seem to be a thing of the past. [American Lawyer]
* The K&L Gates Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project, a clinic that's perhaps better known as the firm's revenge porn project, is assisting a California law student whose nude pictures and videos were allegedly put online by an ex. [DealBook / New York Times]
* We know all about the ridiculous lawyer with three Harvard degrees who is apparently considering suing a mom-and-pop Chinese restaurant over a $4 overcharge. We'll have more on this absolute absurdity later. [Boston.com]
* An English court ruled that a girl with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder couldn't be awarded damages against her mother because the harm occurred in utero. Remember folks, the unborn aren't people, only corporations are. [Daily Beast]
* A Foley & Lardner IP partner may be facing sanctions for a rather unorthodox petition for a writ of certiorari that he submitted to the Supreme Court. [Legal Times]
* Someone at Harvard Law taped fliers containing the last words of unarmed African-Americans who shot by police over portraits of their law professors. [ABC News]
* Per a recent study, the vast majority of law students have suffered from some sort of mental health issue while in law school. This isn't at all shocking. [Yale Daily News]
Drawing on more than a decade of data, the report equips law firms and corporate legal teams with actionable insights to better assess risk, refine strategy, and anticipate outcomes in today’s evolving workplace disputes.
* “I think the court has to take a case now. This is their job.” It’s time to hurry up and wait: SCOTUS is running down the clock when it comes to taking a gay marriage case this Term. [National Law Journal]
* Zach Warren will be tried separately from the former leaders of D&L on criminal charges in the wake of the firm’s failure. Dewey think lawyers still care about him? [DealBook / New York Times]
* Good news, everyone! According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector added 300 jobs in October. This sure is exciting for the fraction of the class of 2014 that number represents. [Am Law Daily]
* A Long Island attorney requested that one of her trials be postponed during her high-risk pregnancy, but lawyers from the S.D.N.Y. allegedly “shouted at and insulted” her in response. Wow. :( [New York Times]
* Since enrollment dropped off, law schools are competing to attract transfer students. Georgetown, for example, recently took more than 100 transfers — a 75 percent increase in two years. [Washington Post]
* Just because your state puff, puff, passed the vote to legalize smoking pot, it doesn’t mean you won’t be fired for doing it. Careful with your dope, unless you’d like to see your career go up in smoke. [CNN Money]
