The Jabot

Above the Law’s Top 10 Most Popular Posts of 2013
What were the 10 biggest stories about the legal profession in 2013, according to readers of Above the Law?

Non-Sequiturs: 12.20.13
* A federal judge just struck down Utah’s ban on same-sex marriage. [Salt Lake Tribune] * After striking down Canada’s anti-prostitution laws, our neighbors to the North went ahead and approved a law school that functionally bans gays. What’s going on up there? Play keep away with the Stanley Cup for 20 years and they just lose their damn minds. [TaxProf Blog] * Chief Judge Alex Kozinski objects, but nobody wants to hear it. [Josh Blackman’s Blog] * Professor Richard Sander won the right to examine law school race, attendance and grade information, in a bid to prove his central theory that affirmative action somehow hurts black folks. I guess the California Supreme Court is on Team Sander. [San Jose Mercury News] * Amy Schulman, the powerful general counsel at Pfizer, is out — and now there’s some interesting speculation as to why. [Law and More] * So now everyone’s writing legal opinions over Fantasy Football trades. [BigLaw Rebel] * Jim Harbaugh gets all his legal acumen from Judge Judy. Next thing you know he’ll be objecting to “What’s your deal?” for lack of foundation. [ESPN] * Speaking of Jennifer Lawrence, she can probably help with your International Law final. [The Onion] * There’s a rundown of the top patent law stories of 2013 on the web next month. And there’s CLE to be had! [Patently-O]

Umm… Did Anybody Notice That Prostitution Is Like ‘Not Illegal’ And Stuff In Canada?
Making the world safe for prostitutes, one country at a time.

Announcing The 2014 Attorney@Blog Conference
RSVP to join us on Friday, March 14th, at the Yale Club of NYC for a convocation of the leading legal bloggers.

Non-Sequiturs: 12.17.13
* Judge Brian Cogan has ruled that a group of New York Catholic institutions doesn’t have to provide health insurance plans that include birth control coverage to its employees because… insurance policies with provisions that other people may or may not ever invoke is a religious thing. Too bad no one told the Catholic Church in New York, which already pays for insurance that provides birth control coverage and has for years. [Jezebel] * Judge Richard Leon’s decision ruling the NSA metadata gathering program unconstitutional makes a lot of good points, but perhaps the best is that even if you think there’s a compelling counter-terrorism concern that trumps constitutional safeguards, the NSA just can’t point to it. Of course we’ll all be singing another tune when the Moldovans take over. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * Here’s a tale of dealing with a Biglaw bully. I don’t get the concept — being locked in a locker is way better than spending the whole night conforming edits. [Big Law Rebel] * Elie appeared on the Lawyer 2 Lawyer podcast to discuss drones. [Lawyer 2 Lawyer] * Eyewitness testimony is often disastrously wrong. Suddenly that “Eyewitness News” title your awful local news channel uses seems really appropriate. [Slate] * A guide for tech startups and software developers dealing with contracts. I’m looking in your direction, Winklevoss twins. [Alleywatch] * An IP lawyer makes a rap video. His record may affirm that he knows IP, but I don’t think Death Row is going to be calling any time soon. Video embedded below…

Morning Docket: 12.13.13
* “Those of us from the Midwest think it’s actually easier to hide a child in New York.” Many of the current Supreme Court justices are from New York. How does it affect their jurisprudence? [Washington Post] * The percentage of women associates in law firms may be down nationally, but in California, the demographic is on the rise — except in Silicon Valley, which is really hardly surprising. [The Recorder] * Megyn Kelly, who’s been compared to a “brilliant supermodel,” is now considered the brightest star on Fox News, with more than 2.5 million viewers. Albany Law School must be so proud. [Washington Post] * Class action powerhouse Cohen Milstein Sellers & Toll hired Matthew S. Axelrod of DOJ fame (most recently as Associate Deputy Attorney General) to join the firm as a partner. Congrats! [Law360 (sub. req.)] * “The fact that rape insurance is even being discussed by this body is repulsive.” Yep. Rape insurance. Apparently that’s a thing in Michigan now, which is pretty unbelievable. The more you know. [MSNBC] * Here’s a helpful hint for our readers: when you’re trying to get released on bail prior to your jewel heist trial, you probably shouldn’t list your occupation on a court form as “jewelry thief.” [Los Angeles Times]

Morning Docket: 12.12.13
* “This should be a red flag for everyone in legal education and the law firm world.” According to NALP, the percentage of women associates has dropped for the fourth consecutive year. That’s just lovely. [National Law Journal] * Next summer, the co-CEOs of Hogan Lovells from legacy firms Hogan & Hartson and Lovells will make way for a single CEO structure. If approved by vote, Stephen Immelt will be in charge. Congratulations! [Am Law Daily] * And the peasants rejoiced, for one of the FLSA overtime suits filed by a document review attorney has survived a motion to dismiss. Quinn Emanuel must have been genuinely shocked by this judge’s ruling. [Am Law Daily] * “One thing we understand is law and economics.” Yet another law school finally, finally gets it. George Mason University School of Law has agreed to freeze its tuition — for the time being. We may have more on this development later today. [InTheCapital] * George Huguely V, the UVA LAX bro convicted of killing his ex-girlfriend, has got one hell of a lawyer. Paul Clement is arguing his client’s right to counsel was violated at trial. [Richmond Times-Dispatch]

Lawyers Don’t Make Enough Money To Afford House Husbands
You’ve got to be pretty rich to convince your husband to stay home with the kids.

Morning Docket: 12.11.13
* When it comes to the air pollution case that’s currently before the Supreme Court, it seems like the justices had absolutely no difficulty at all in evaluating the type of problem at hand. It’s apparently a “tough” one and a “hard” one. [New York Times] * Thanks to the historic new Senate rules put into action last month, Patricia Ann Millett, the co-head of Akin Gump’s Supreme Court and national appellate practice group, has been confirmed to the D.C. Circuit. You go girl! [Post Politics / Washington Post] * The Senate showdown isn’t quite over yet, folks. We could see another confirmation vote on Georgetown Law professor Nina Pillard’s nomination to the D.C. Circuit sometime today. [Blog of Legal Times] * “We risk failure in having a profession that is as diverse as the country we serve.” OMG guys, the legal profession is bad at diversity. This is new information that no one’s heard before. [National Law Journal] * Now that the recession is over, women are gaining their jobs back faster than all their male counterparts. Not to worry, guys — they’re still being paid 77 cents to every dollar a man earns. [Corporate Counsel] * Here are the top five social media mishaps by lawyers and law students of 2013. If you value your career, you should really try not to do any of these embarrassing things during the new year. [Strategist / FindLaw]

New Partner Watch: The Quinn Emanuel 13
Who are the 13 new partners at Quinn Emanuel, and what does their selection say about the firm?

A Very ‘Facetious’ Reverse Benchslap Of Justice Samuel Alito
Sassy, classy, and a bit smart-assy? We like this judge’s style.

Morning Docket: 11.26.13
* You’d think that when discussing major reforms to the patent system, the director of the USPTO would be there, but you’d be wrong. You’d also be wrong if you thought we had a director right now. [National Law Journal] * Welcome to the future of Biglaw: Allen & Overy has realized that it’s a waste of money to keep hiring in a weak market, so the firm is recruiting its alumni to serve as contract attorneys in times of higher legal demand. [Legal Week] * Dean Gregory Maggs, the interim leader of George Washington University Law, is being lauded for increasing first-year enrollment by 22 percent in a time of crisis. Excellent work, sir. You flood that job market. [GW Hatchet] * Just because you have a law degree doesn’t mean you’re “entitled to rise up and become partner.” Getting a job in the new normal involves having a good attitude and social graces. [WSJ Law Blog] * Ladies, if you get pregnant after a fling with an Olympic medalist and move out of state, please know your “appropriation of the child while in utero [will be deemed] irresponsible, reprehensible.” [New York Times] * GTL stands for “Gym, Tan, Laundry,” but the owner of these Jersey Shore nightclubs thinks it stands for “Gym, Tan, Lawsuit” — thanks to losses uncovered by its insurer in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. [Newark Star-Ledger]

Non-Sequiturs: 11.21.13
* Amanda Bynes is deemed mentally competent to stand trial. I’d seek a second opinion. [TMZ] * Male bosses are more popular than female bosses according to Gallup. This probably reveals persistent chauvinism in the workplace, but given Gallup’s track record the last couple of elections, female bosses may well be beloved. [The Careerist] * Competing construction experts tussle over the proper way to build a parking garage. The correct answer is: in a way that doesn’t fall down. [The Expert Institute] * Jay Edelson and Chandler Givens offer their second installment addressing how to fix the legal profession. This time the target is the law school model. Join the revolution! [Legal Solutions Blog / Thompson Reuters] * Here’s Corporette’s Suit of the Week! [Corporette] * If you’re representing a defense contractor, it’s a lot easier to export their wares these days. But the system isn’t fully reformed yet. [Breaking Defense] * The Society for Chinese Law is hosting an evening of food and drinks featuring a panel of professionals from major law firms. [Society for Chinese Law at Columbia Law School] * For those who missed (or only followed along on Twitter) the FedSoc debate between Professor Randy Barnett and Judge Wilkinson on whether judges are too deferential to legislatures, the full video is available after the jump. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

Alexandra Marchuk v. Faruqi & Faruqi: A Mental Case?
What’s the latest news in the salacious case of Marchuk v. Faruqi & Faruqi?

Women Lawyers: Quit Your Bitchin’ Or You Might Have To Get Back In The Kitchen
Want to lose your job? Keep complaining.