Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 04.25.11

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* LiLo was sentenced to 4 months behind bars and 480 hours of community service in a morgue. I guess the morgue is fitting, since this might be the final nail in her acting career’s coffin. [Reuters]

* The Winklevii didn’t take kindly to being told to STFU and GTFO, so they found some new evidence to totally pwn Mark Zuckerberg. [USA Today]

* In Virginia v. Jesus, a public defender convinced holy rollers to spare JHC from the death penalty. Way to negate your own holiday, guys. [CNN]

* Don’t haze me, bro! A would-be frat brother from Hartwick College is suing over his sore tushie. Former sorostitute pro-tip: it wouldn’t have hurt so badly if you drank more. [New York Daily News]

* Oh, come on, $99.99 is a completely reasonable price for a wagon of smurfberries. It isn’t Apple’s fault that your children aren’t natural-born economists. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Apparently, you can be arrested in Michigan for speech crimes you haven’t committed yet, but only if your message sucks. What is this, Minority Report? [Wall Street Journal]

* Richard G. Mintz, name partner at Mintz Levin, R.I.P. [Boston Globe]

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