Reese Witherspoon

Keyrock. Not Mr. Keyrock. Just Keyrock.

2) Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon; Legally Blonde)

v.

7) Keyrock (Phil Hartman; Saturday Night Live)

He you looked at the full bracket last night, you saw that this match listed as Elle Woods v. Mitchell McDere from The Firm. That was an error. Originally I had Keyrock in the Comical Performances region, but I didn’t want to potentially have Phil Hartman against Phil Hartman in regional finals so I decided to bump the totally unnecessary second Tom Cruise sighting. But my brain forgot to tell my fingers. Sorry.

Obviously, you simply cannot have a fictional lawyer contest while overlooking Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. I don’t care if an ATL intern just looked at me and said “what is Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer?” His absence would have been inexcusable. Because Keyrock might not know how to “use the internet.” When you click on him, he might thing that you making a claim on his soul. He’s just a caveman. He fell in some ice and later got thawed our by our scientists. This contest would frighten him.

But can carrying an SNL skit compare to carrying a whole franchise? What I’ve come to understand about Elle Woods is that she cannot be stopped. There are three Legally Blonde movies and a musical. I’ve stopped trying to explain it and started just trying to get out of its way.

These two characters are pitted against each other because America loves thinking that anybody with a modicum of common sense can be a lawyer.

Who is your favorite character?

  • Elle Woods (64%, 852 Votes)
  • Keyrock (36%, 484 Votes)

Total Voters: 1,336

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Remember, voting closes Sunday at 11:59 p.m. You can only vote once per IP address, but we won’t mind if you vote from as many IP addresses as you can. And yes, the brackets have been printed out and are being passed around the Above the Law offices. Somebody around here is going to win… umm, prestige points based on your votes.

Earlier: Fictional Lawyer Madness: Your Favorite Fictional Lawyers of the Past 30 Years


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