Cars, Crime, DUI / DWI, Rudeness, Texas

Law License Plates: Defenders Unite

In our last edition of the Law License Plates series, we wrote about Massholes. In this version, we're writing about a different kind of a-hole: criminal and DUI defense attorneys. It seems like defense attorneys are making straight cash, homey....

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Our last post on law-related vanity license plates was on Tuesday. We received so many great photos that we couldn’t resist writing another one this week. We are always looking for more, so if you’re a fan of the Law License Plates series, please send in your photos via email (subject line: “Vanity License Plate”).

So, on Tuesday, we wrote about Massholes. Today, we’re writing about a different kind of a-hole: criminal and DUI defense attorneys. These submissions came to us from Texas and Ohio. While these states are far apart, they seem to have one thing in common. Defense attorneys in both states are making straight cash, homey.

After looking at these plates (and the cars they’re attached to), you may want to consider changing your practice group….

When you’re driving a Mercedes-Benz E55 AMG deep in the heart of Texas, you’re damn right you defend, because this car costs a pretty penny or two (or 5,000,000, but really who’s counting?). It might actually be fair game to toot your own horn on your license plate about how you came about the funds to acquire this Benz. (And as an aside, what’s on your bumper? Fix that sh*t!)

But in reality, let’s face it: as the stereotype goes, criminal defense attorneys will say and do just about anything to make a buck. They’re kind of like hookers, but with better clothes. How many drunks are back on the road because of these people? And how many creeps are back on roofie patrol at local bars?

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Congratulations! You bought the family brag-mobile with the tears of women and families. Kudos.

Which brings us to our next submission from Ohio:

Screw you, buddy. Screw you, and screw your Jag. And because everything I know about Ohio comes from Glee, I didn’t think that people there even know what a Jaguar is, aside from an animal you wouldn’t want to encounter on the highway.

Our tipster eloquently referred to the owner of this car as a “superdouche.” An excellent assessment, if I do say so myself.

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Do you drive a car as nice as these? No? Then you better start acquitting people, because it seems like all the cash is hiding in defense work.

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of vanity license plates

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