'[Bleep] With Me And You Will Have A Huge [Bleep]hole,' Warns Biglaw Partner

A Biglaw partner in Texas apparently warned opposing counsel not to 'f***' with him. I have no reason to doubt his sincerity...

Here, shockingly, is where Sweeney stops being polite, and starts getting real:

Now, I don’t know a lot about Texas, but I know Texans don’t generally back down from this kind of “suggestion.” So Chad Arnette’s response isn’t that surprising:

Marty Sweeney responds by calling Arnette a “pussy,” again, which is I guess what you do when somebody threatens to tell the judge on you. And then Sweeney finishes off the chain with one of the best emails sent to opposing counsel ever:

Sponsored

End scene.

So, I’m sure you have a lot of questions. I know I do.

Martin Sweeney did not respond to my email requesting comment. But a spokesperson for Cozen O’Connor did, sending me the following message:

Ms. [sic] Mystal,

Effective May 16, 2012, Mr. Sweeney is no longer an attorney with Cozen O’Connor.

Our Firm values promote the highest standard of professional conduct, and we expect all of our attorneys and professional staff to maintain the highest standards of professionalism and civility at all times in their conduct on behalf of our firm clients.

Sponsored

I had a feeling this was coming. This morning, Martin Sweeney’s bio was on the Cozen O’Connor website. But that was this morning. At some point this afternoon, after I emailed Cozen O’Connor asking for comment about the situation, Sweeney’s bio mysteriously disappeared.

Well, not “disappeared” in the way that Cozen O’Connor probably hoped for. There is a little thing called Google Cache. So if you click through to the last page of this post, you can see Martin Sweeney’s cached bio (and learn where he went to law school, because I’m sure you’re wondering).

On the next page, you can see the email chain from the “that’s bulls**t” email through the end. It’s highly entertaining. Like, way more entertaining than if they had actually just come to fisticuffs in downtown Dallas.

Enjoy — and send around to your friends and colleagues. There are important lessons to be learned here. And when it comes to civility and professional responsibility, you don’t want to be the ignorant slut.

UPDATE (5/17/2012, 11 AM): Here is the full motion for sanctions, in case you’re interested.