Law School Deans, Law Schools

Disgraced Law Dean Turns To Creepy Poetry

We all wondered where the disgraced former dean would end up. You won't believe what he's doing now.

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When Case Western Reserve University Law School Dean Lawrence Mitchell resigned amidst a salacious lawsuit and allegations of propositioning students for threesomes (among other claims), we all wondered where the disgraced former dean would end up. Sure, he remained on the CWRU faculty, but took a leave of absence until the middle of next year. With all the baggage he built up in Cleveland, would he really stick around? Would another law school poach him as a professor? Perhaps a return to private practice?

Even in a world of infinite possibilities, “professional sexy-time love poet” was not where anyone would have expected a former law school dean to turn up next…

If you can’t watch the video right this second, we’ll discuss below and you can come back and watch it later. But for now, let’s see how this silver-tongued ladykiller gets it done. Presenting “Perfect Love,” by Lawrence Mitchell:

Take a second to catch your breath, ladies. First of all, the scarf? Nice look, buddy. If this is what you’re aiming for, just get the beret and go all in. Second, this video is a multi-camera angle joint. It’s a serious résumé piece for an aspiring professional poet — it’s on his f**king LinkedIn page! This ode to ogling random women in parks is how he markets himself!

Those of you who, like me, are single, probably appreciate the ambivalence of that status.

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Actually, based on everything we heard about the CWRU kerfuffle, Mitchell sees ambivalence in every relationship status. In the past, we detailed a juicy affidavit from one of Mitchell’s former assistants that painted a picture of Mitchell pulling strings to try to coax a staffer to cheat on her boyfriend and then propositioning a student couple for a threesome. To read that whole affidavit — and you definitely want to — check it out here. Here’s a taste:

Following a party for law students held at Mitchell’s house in late September 2011, he propositioned me to engage in a “threesome” with him and the woman whom I was dating at the time. Mitchell showed me the guest bedroom and pointed out the new Chinese silk sheets he had purchased. This sexual proposition from my boss was unwelcome and made me uncomfortable, and I declined to engage in the “threesome” with Mitchell.

Speaking of unwelcome and uncomfortable, let’s get back to this poem. So Mitchell explains that this poem was inspired by a beautiful woman who looked at him while he was sitting outside in New York, prompting Mitchell to imagine an idealized life with her. She’d probably be game for a fiveway. But alas, it was not to be. Mitchell declined to run game on her and she left.

And now you’ve gone/Contentedly I said/The inchoate that is us remains with me.

He used the word “inchoate” in a damn poem. Thanks for checking the “I went to law school” box for all your adoring fans. They appreciate it.

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Look, maybe it’s the fact that I had to listen to this over and over in writing this post, but Mitchell’s actually pretty good. Too bad he had to publicly market himself as: “Remember that guy who got fired for allegedly being a skeevy horndog? Here’s his love poetry!”

I’ve said it before, but this guy really seems like The Continental brought to life.

Earlier: Lawrence Mitchell Threesomes And Other Startling Allegations In Affidavit

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