Donald Trump Will Make The Legal Profession Great Again
This is going to be the most litigated presidency of all time.
President Donald Trump (by Ali Shaker/VOA)
Donald Trump will not deliver an economic boon for flyover people who want their twentieth-century economy back. His looming trade war will be bad for American business. His wall that Mexico will never, ever pay for will be bad for the national coffers.
But lawyers are fittin’ to get paid, son. Donald Trump is generating so much legal work that I’m picking out bathroom remodels, just because I expect to be paid for simply writing about it all.
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NBC reports that Trump has been named in over 50 lawsuits, since the inauguration. That’s over 50 lawsuits in two weeks. To put that in context:
Since being sworn in Jan. 20, Trump has been named in 52 federal cases in 17 different states, according to the Administrative Office of the United States Courts. Comparatively, Barack Obama was named in three and George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were each named in four cases between Jan. 20 and Feb. 1.
This is going to be the most litigated presidency of all time.
Remember, we’re only talking about cases where Trump has been named, so it’s mainly state attorneys general taking on Trump’s executive orders. We haven’t even begun with the private causes of actions people will have against the government as the Trumpkins violate due process. We’re not talking about the slew of civil-rights cases coming even as the Supreme Court tries to hold the line.
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And don’t forget the corruption inquires that should be coming soon to Trump, his family, and his crony cabinet. Don’t forget the abuse-of-power trials that are surely in our future. Chris Christie’s career imploded over a traffic jam. What do you think is going to happen when the “time for some wildfires in California” emails leak?
Notice I haven’t mentioned the personal stuff, yet? Yeah, Republicans are going to rue the day they decided that it was good political theater to subject Bill Clinton to civil lawsuits for personal behavior. How many people are just waiting for @realDonaldTrump to defame them so they can start piercing the goddamn veil? If Trump thought he could grope women when he was just a celebrity, imagine what he thinks he can do now that he’s president? Even if you don’t think Trump was absolutely corrupt before, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABSOLUTE POWER WILL DO TO HIM?
Plus, PLUS:
* There’s going to be all the legal work generated when Trump orders Jeff Sessions to get him a bagel and sue his enemies.
* He’s going to f**k up the SEC so securities lawyers will be pulling all-nighters trying to figure out what they can get away with now.
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* HIS TAX PLAN! Lol. IT WON’T EVEN MAKE SENSE, but tax lawyers are going to have a field day trying to explain it to desperate, confused businesses.
Maybe Trump will bring good, low-skilled jobs back. Redweld is going to have to open up new factories to make folders for all this paper we’re about to be see.
It is a glorious time to be a lawyer. Or at least it will be, until he orders all of them exterminated for “Un-American argle-bargle.”
Trump Named in More Than 50 Lawsuits Since Inauguration [NBC News]
Elie Mystal is an editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.
