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In order to maximize their control over the creature, the “Jaws” filmmakers built three sharks for their 1975 movie. All created from the same mold, the sharks were dubbed “Bruce” after Spielberg’s lawyer, Bruce Ramer.

‘Jaws’ Shark Hunted Down

One summer associate story from years past involved an SA who simply stopped showing up to work for several days. Given how big summer classes were back then (not like today), and how much misbehavior was tolerated in those halcyon days, it took a surprisingly long time for the perpetrator to get in trouble.

The fellow got no-offered. But some observers wondered whether his conduct really was that egregious, viewed against the standards of the time. Summer associates weren’t actually expected to, you know, work back then.

And summer associates don’t really have “clients.” Wisconsin lawyer Scott Fisher, who pulled a similar vanishing act, did….

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It seems the world can’t get enough of Debrahlee Lorenzana, the former Citibank employee who alleges she was fired because she was “too hot.” She’s been making the rounds of the morning talk shows, and people have been absolutely gushing about her figure, which allegedly got her fired.

But could you call her body an attractive nuisance to the men and women who supposedly persecuted her for her beauty? Perhaps, since it now appears that Debrahlee’s boobs were not endowed, but acquired. Dealbreaker reports:

In this clip of her aforementioned knockers surgery, … she says she pumped them up to meet “a professional, well-educated man.”

Dealbreaker has a full clip of Debrahlee’s appearance on Plastic Surgery New York Style. Click here to watch it.

You could say that the video defines the word “busted”….

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A quick word of thanks to this week’s advertisers on Above the Law:

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If you’re the type who is convinced that the people you work with in Biglaw are evil, conniving, and ready to stab you in the back with a really sharp highlighter, you will love Getting It, a novel by Daniel Shaviro. In a post titled “james joyce meets the paper chase,” an Amazon reviewer says: “If Joyce or Kafka had worked at Arnold and Porter, this would be their book.”

I’ve read a lot of lawyer fiction, but never something quite like this. The satirical novel is populated with sadistic partners and scheming associates competing for partnership, including the caddish Bill Doberman, dopey Arnold Portner, and self-involved Lowell Stellworth. It’s an “American Psycho” take on Biglaw — funny and fast-paced, a great summer quick read. I devoured it on a plane to Chicago.

Shaviro’s books are usually more taxing — he’s the Wayne Perry Professor of Taxation at NYU Law. Though he’s had many books published before — e.g., Decoding the U.S. Corporate Tax and Taxes, Spending, and the U.S. Government’s March Toward Bankruptcy — this is his first novel. Even if you didn’t study with him at NYU, you may recognize him as the man with Elena Kagan in this photo, when they were both professors at the University of Chicago.

Before becoming an academic, Shaviro worked for Caplin & Drysdale in Washington, D.C., and then went on to the Joint Committee on Taxation. He started working on the book during Congressional breaks in 1985 — his characters actually use the legal research library to Shephardize their memos — but only finished it last year. Coming back to the novel two decades later, he says that it felt at times like he was working on a collaboration with a different person — a younger version of himself.

“I’m in a different place; I could never come up with this now. It was a 20-something version of me that came up with it,” Shaviro told me. He had the inspiration of youth to start it, but had the discipline and wisdom now to finish it and cut the bad parts. “I mined the cut parts and discovered some really nice turns of phrase. I wish I could reach out to that [younger] guy and get some more material from him.”

Why is the book so fun? How did Shaviro finally finish it? And why was he in that photo with Elena Kagan?

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And an interview with the author, NYU Professor Daniel Shaviro.

A few weeks ago, news broke that Sonnenschein would merge with the U.K.-based firm of Denton Wilde. Today the firms announced that partners on both sides of the Atlantic unanimously voted in favor of the merger. From the Sonnenschein press release:

The partnerships of Sonnenschein Nath & Rosenthal LLP (SNR) and Denton Wilde Sapte LLP (Denton) today voted in favor of combining to form SNR Denton. Launching on September 30, 2010, SNR Denton will have more than 1,400 lawyers and professionals in 18 countries, forming a top 25 legal services provider worldwide by number of lawyers and professionals. SNR Chairman Elliott Portnoy and Denton CEO Howard Morris will serve as co-CEOs of SNR Denton.

The merger will become official on September 30th.

Congratulations to SNR-Denton partners, associates, and other employees. Let’s hope there are no redundancy layoffs on either side of the ocean.

Earlier: Law Firm Merger Mania: Sonnenschein to Merge with Denton Wilde

Over the past year, we’ve devoted a great deal of coverage to the value proposition of going to law school. While reasonable people disagree on just how much law school should cost (Canadian professor Robert Martin starts the bidding at $12 a year), there is a growing consensus that the cost of legal education is already too high — and is continuing to go up, despite the faltering job market.

Law schools can’t be counted on to help their students get jobs in this economy — but that’s not about to make them stop raising tuition. And we are now in the season of tuition hikes. Over the summer, when students are off campus and thus generally unable to engage in violent protest, many administrations look to raise tuition.

We’d like to track these hikes on Above the Law, so send us your tips when your school raises (or, God forbid, doesn’t raise) tuition.

As a jumping off point, we have news that Brooklyn Law School is raising tuition. Because you know, anytime you can sport a sub-80% employed at graduation rate, a tuition hike makes a lot of sense….

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It’s been a while since we checked in with the coming junior associate apocalypse that is legal outsourcing. Rest assured, LPOs around the globe are working hard to make sure that the Biglaw junior associate becomes extinct — at least as we know it.

There’s a fascinating article on Law21 that discusses the evolution of legal process outsourcing — and what LPOs need to do next:

Still in its relative infancy, legal process outsourcing has already had a huge impact on the legal services marketplace: scoring major deals with the likes of Microsoft and Rio Tinto, garnering the attention of private-equity investors, and helping to expose the degree to which law firms have overcharged for the simplest legal work, among other accomplishments. But this impact has set off two important chains of events.

The first affects LPOs themselves: they now need to move their value proposition beyond cost savings in a market they helped to make more sophisticated. The second affects everyone: the legal profession’s response to LPO is having an unexpected effect on how legal work is distributed and how legal resources are allocated.

Some law firms still seem to be fighting the last war and are committed to fending off outsourcing until the bitter end. But other firms are preparing themselves for the next war: remaining the primary legal advisor to their clients in a world where the clients themselves can go to a number of providers to get the work done…

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Orly Taitz, Queen of the Birthers

* California businesswomen fared well in last night’s primaries. [Washington Post]

* But former lawyer of the Day Orly Taitz, aka “The Birther Queen,” lost in the Republican primary for California secretary of state. [Washington Wire]

* Meanwhile, a vote over in the Swiss parliament could derail the delicate deal reached between UBS and the Justice Department in part of an ongoing tax evasion investigation. [New York Times via WSJ Law Blog]

* Speaking of escaping taxation, Texas billionaire Dan Duncan may be able to pass his fortune to his heirs tax-free, thanks to the one-year lapse in the estate tax law — unless the tax can be reinstated and applied retroactively. [New York Times]

* Could we be witnessing the end of libel law? [New York Observer]

* Musical chairs: Ronald Cami leaves Cravath to become the general counsel for a private equity firm. [Am Law Daily]

Ed. note: This is a special post from Will Meyerhofer of The People’s Therapist. This article is also posted there.

I summered at Shearman & Sterling way back in 1996. Judging from my clients’ feedback, the summer associate “experience” at big law firms hasn’t changed much over the years. With the recession, it’s harder to get a summer associate position – but once you’re in, it’s pretty much the same old thing – or maybe the same old thing on lysergic acid diethylamide. It was a pretty weird experience to begin with.

As a summer associate, you’re entering Bizarro World, and nothing makes sense in Bizarro World. Nothing ever has, and nothing ever will.

Here’s how it works:

You show up, dressed in the new suit you probably bought with your mom. You’re a little nervous and eager to impress. The first day starts out pretty much as you’d expect, with human resources spiels – “trainings” – on stuff like how to use the library, how to turn on your computer, how to find the word-processing department, whatever.

You are presented with your desk – your own desk in a law firm! You chat excitedly with the other summers, sizing one another up, seeking allies – someone you can trust, who seems to be thinking the same things you are. There are no obvious candidates.

What now?

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The man in the yellow ... face?

* The State Department told an Asian man (pictured) that his passport photo was “too yellow.” We’re constantly vigilant for threats, foreign and domestic, to our national security — but we should feel safer knowing that our State Department civil servants are on the lookout for the yellow peril. [The Darkside]

* Jamie Dimon isn’t going to take the financial reform bill lying down. And now New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand knows it. [Dealbreaker]

* The six-month period after you graduate is the best time to find a job. You know, if you weren’t able to find one before you graduated. [The Lawyerist]

* Could Orly Taitz actually win an election — and ruin things for Republicans running statewide in California? [Politico]

* This should be a fun game: let’s play “Which Politicians Took Money from BP.” [Tax Prof Blog]

* Rule 12 of Client Service is something that anybody can follow — so long as you look the part. [What About Clients?]

* Cic sic by the bay. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

Ryan Hill and his wife

Michigan law firm partner Ryan Hill has a very candid biography on his non-firm website:

I am a self-proclaimed family man. My wife and I have open communication about everything, whether it is small things such as who is going to take out the trash, to bigger things such as communicating our sexual desires.

We’re all in favor of open communication about sexual desires, but why does this Thomas Cooley law grad want to share it with those reading his bio?

It’s because he’s the face of his own non-profit, My Marriage Matters:

My Marriage Matters is a non-profit organization that strongly believes in the union of marriage. We acknowledge there are infinite obstacles that stand in the way to a happy, long-term marriage but we encourage couples to work through those obstacles together. Divorce should not be considered an option when you decide to say “I do”.

So what kind of attorney is Ryan Hill? A divorce attorney.

When one starts digging, this all gets stranger and stranger…

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