LEWW was recently hospitalized for a series of events that resulted in the birth of an actual human being for which we are now responsible. We’ll be taking a brief hiatus from our Legal Eagle Wedding-Watching duties while we adjust to life with this screaming, pooping bundle of adorableness.
The Lat/Mystal regime is far less generous with maternity leave than Biglaw, so we won’t be gone for anything approaching 18 weeks. And we’ll be keeping track of the weddings that occur while we’re away, so don’t think you can escape our attention by getting married now. We’ll catch up with everything upon our return.
I like it when judges show a sense of humor. It gives me metaphysical joy when judges refuse to act like legal automatons, and it makes my job easier.
Hennepin County District Judge Stephen Aldrich is a man who understands that court proceedings need not be devoid of the occasional one-liner:
Three weeks ago in family court, reviewing a domestic violence order for protection, a transcript shows Judge Aldrich telling the husband and wife, “I’ve been married 45 years. We’ve never considered divorce, a few times murder, maybe.”
As Chris Rock says, you haven’t been in love unless you’ve considered killing your spouse “and the only thing that stops you is an episode of CSI.”
I think Judge Aldrich should be applauded for his humor. But we live in America, the land of perpetually bunched panties. So it’s not so surprising that some people are calling for Judge Aldrich to resign.
Details after the jump.
On Wednesday, we told you that the Association of Corporate Counsel was ranking law firms based on evaluations from its members. We also told you that some law firm partners were very concerned about this list.
We have the list.
The ACC Value Index currently has responses for 448 law firms — big and small, big city and secondary markets. Sadly, the vast majority of the firms have very few responses. Apparently corporate counsels have better things to do than rank the quality of legal services they receive. Most firms — including some of the bigger names, like Cravath and Sullivan & Cromwell — have three or fewer responses.
But some firms have generated more reviews. Which firms from the Am Law 200 are in the top ten and bottom ten of the ACC rankings?
Ed. note: Welcome to ATL’s first foray into serial fiction. “My Job Is Murder,” a mystery set in a D.C. appellate boutique firm, will appear one chapter at a time, M-W-F, over the next few weeks. Prior installments appear here; please read them first.
The author, a former appellate lawyer, wishes to emphasize that any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Except for the geeky stuff. Appellate lawyers really are that geeky.
Susanna Dokupil can be reached by email at [email protected] or on Facebook.
The waiter’s arrival with their food gave him a few moments reprieve. Mark and Alex had cheeseburgers with dill havarti and fries served in a tall silver cone with a trio of condiments: ketchup, barbeque, and honey mustard. Katarina had a chicken caesar, but with the chicken strips stacked like Lincoln Logs. What nonsense, thought Tyler. Then his pepperoni pizza arrived — in five small round pizzettes stacked vertically at one-inch intervals on a braced skewer.
“Leaning Tower of Pizza, get it?” the waiter asked. Katarina laughed. Tyler was not amused, however, as he now had to eat this edible architectural marvel politely in front of his co-workers.
As Tyler mentally debated the question of hands v. utensils, Spencer walked up with his own lunch entourage. Class: New Partner. Intelligence: High. Top of his class at University of Virginia. Charisma: average. Alignment: Hard work. Spencer had no time for alignments. He was too busy billing. Experience Points: ~3500? Spencer had been a rising star since the day he set foot in the firm as a summer associate, and no one was surprised when he made partner the first year he was up.
Spencer skipped the usual round of introductions and went straight to Mark. “Veronica’s suing the firm,” he said grimly.
Veronica, Tyler knew, was an associate who had recently lateraled to another firm after learning she was unlikely to make partner. Standards were higher in this economy. Class: 7. Experience points: 2200/yr, but low Intelligence. Charisma: Above average. She wasn’t Tyler’s type, but he knew her reputation among the firm’s bachelors.
“What, she didn’t make partner because she’s a woman?” asked Mark.
“No, she’d never make that shtick. Sexual harassment. By Dick Schlosh.” said Spencer.
New Mexico law professor Erik Gerding started off an interesting discussion in the blogosphere with his post, Death of “Big Law School’?, on the Conglomerate.
Ashby Jones at the WSJ Law Blog and Larry Ribstein at Ideoblog have already weighed in.
Gerding’s central thesis is that problems with the Biglaw business model will have major effects on the law school business model:
It would likely mean the end of the law school boom – with its expanding law faculties and the bumper crop of new law schools. Like it or not, the business model (I hate applying that term to legal education, but can’t think of another one) of many law schools is heavily dependent on students getting high paying law firm jobs to pay off high law school tuition. Law firms are also prime benefactors of law school endowments. Without corporate law consuming law school graduates by the dozens, law school will face massive economic pressure.
You’d like to think that. But there is only one way to exert massive economic pressure on law schools, and it is not happening yet.
I understand that “most depressing job posting” is a strong statement. The job market is awful and I’m sure that there are terrible listings that I have not seen. But I stand by my headline. As of Friday the 13th, November 2009, this is the most depressing “legal” job that I’ve seen offered to qualified law students.
From the UT Law career services offices:
Employer: The Ansari Law Firm
Title: Legal Assistant/Nanny
That’s right UT law students. You are now being offered a job that you were probably qualified to perform when you were fifteen years old.
Reactions and the full job listing after the jump.
* After all that, Pfizer is leaving New London, Connecticut. [New York Times]
* Five Gitmo detainees will be transferred to New York, including Khalid Sheikh Mohammed [Washington Post]
* Nidal Malik Hasan’s lawyer says that he is paralyzed. And his hands hurt. I care. [CNN]
* Warren Buffet says that the market crisis is over. Phew. [Reuters]
* “Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yea” has been returned to its rightful owner. [UPI]
* South Carolina finds a way to make a license plate that violates separation of church and state. [Courthouse News Service]
Sources in government say that White House Counsel Gregory Craig has decided to resign, and that the president’s personal lawyer, Robert Bauer, will take his place. A formal announcement is slated next week, though word might drop tomorrow.
Looks like that announcement is getting sped up. More after the jump.
UPDATE: Greg Craig’s resignation letter, also after the jump.
* Rapper calls himself “C-Murder.” Rapper commits murder. Rapper gets convicted for murder. Rapper bitches and moans like a little baby boy that he can’t afford to appeal his conviction. Which one of those things doesn’t belong? (Wait a minute, why am I making fun of a homicidal rapper who might get out of jail? Please tell Mr. Murder that I meant no disrespect.) [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
* How Twitter can help you find a job. [Let's Talk Turkey]
* Is Justice Ginsburg getting a little weird? [Holy Hullabaloos]
* Gloria Allred wants a bit of Carrie Prejean’s ass. [Radar]
* “Shut the door, have a seat.” [Ideoblog]
* There’s a Costco in Manhattan, in case you are looking to stretch your deferral dollar. [Transracial]
* Homeland Security really needs to get rid of color coded threat levels. [Litination]
Our long, national, helium induced nightmare is almost over. CNN is reporting that Richard and Mayumi Heene — parents of Falcon “Balloon Boy” Heene — will plead guilty tomorrow:
The Larimer County district attorney’s office Thursday said Richard Heene has been charged with one count of attempting to influence a public servant, a felony, and Mayumi Heene has been charged with one count of false reporting to authorities, a misdemeanor.
Richard Heene turned himself in Thursday afternoon and was released on his own recognizance, authorities said.
The Heenes will appear Friday in Larimer County Court, where they are expected to plead guilty, their attorneys said.
I think we’ve all learned an important lesson. Children, be they in a balloon, down a well, with a fox, or in a box, do not constitute breaking national news.
Not that there is going to be a lot of sympathy for the Heenes, but it does appear that they got strong armed into this guilty plea.
Details after the jump.
It wasn’t that long ago — just back in August 2008 — that the ABA changed its rules to allow the outsourcing of American legal work. In the midst of the recession, a lot of people are still trying to figure out if outsourcing will cause a more fundamental change to the nature of the Biglaw business model than anything we’ve seen during the credit crunch.
Now, the ABA is asking its lawyers to share their opinion on outsourcing. This week’s ABA Intellectual Property Law section e-letter contains a link to a very interesting survey. Here’s the description from the e-letter:
Outsourcing Task Force Seeks Survey Input From You
The American Bar Association’s Outsourcing Task Force is conducting a survey on outsourcing. The objective of the Task Force, at the Request of ABA President-Elect Steve Zack, is a Report with Recommendations to the House of Delegates on the subject at next year’s Annual Meeting.
An important means of collecting input from a broader cross section of the
ABA is an online survey which can be accessed at: http://www.zoomerang.com/Survey/?p=WEB229LAVJNGRM.
As input from the broadest possible range of American lawyers is critical, the Task Force would greatly appreciate if every member could take a moment to complete this survey.
Immediate Past Section Chair Gordon Arnold is a member of the Task Force and serves as its Liaison to the Section of Intellectual Property Law. He strongly encourages all to complete this survey.
IP lawyers, here is one chance to voice your opinion.
After the jump, some we post a couple of the questions the task force is asking.