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Non-Sequiturs: 05.24.07

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Miss Connecticut International Above the Law blog.jpg* It is my calling to keep people’s self-esteem in check when out of wack with reality. And to yet again point out the dangers of using MySpace if you’re over 21 or not a musician. I am also in a pissy mood today. [Gawker]
* The recent approval of a pill that stops menstruation has sparked much non-legal discussion on legal blogs, but I really just wanted to show you these funny stuffed tampons. [Law and Letters]
* Kids do the darndest things! A child-director, a lawsuit — and, of course, Kevin Bacon. [UPI]
* Claims of anorexia are just code for “Damn, she looks good!” and subsequent lawsuits code for “We need some free press” and “Don’t hate me because I’m hot.” But Keira, in life as in Star Wars, you remain the mere handmaiden to the Queen of Naboo. [Yahoo! News]
* If my boss asked me if he had a chance of eatin’ good in my neighborhood, I’d file a complaint as well. Unless he were hot, in which case I’d tell him to wait until after my wax. [Rockford Registrar Star]
* Old mothers, teen mothers, gay mothers… Just keep them out of high schools, please. End of PSA. [New York Times]

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Nationwide Pay Raise Watch: Mayer Brown Raises

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Mayer Brown Rowe Maw equity partners fired Above the Law blog.jpgThe associate pay raise memo for the D.C. office of Mayer Brown Rowe & Maw, authenticated for us by a source at the firm, appears after the jump.
We have no reason to doubt the authenticity of the memos, posted in the comments, that appear to be from Mayer Brown’s offices in Los Angeles and Chicago. So it would seem that the firm has raised to the $160K scale in Washington, Los Angeles, and Chicago.
But if you can confirm them for us, please do so by email. Thanks.
(You don’t have to email us from your work account. A message from your personal, non-work email account — but disclosing your real name, so we can look you up on the firm website — is sufficient confirmation.)
P.S. Hopefully the firm won’t have to drop the ax on more deadweight partners to pay for these raises.
Update: The Mayer Chicago memo has been authenticated. We have posted it after the jump.
Further Update: The Mayer L.A. memo is legit. It’s also posted after the jump.

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Judge of the Day: Elizabeth Halverson (again)

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It’s time for a quick update on Judge Elizabeth Halverson. As you may recall, Judge Halverson — a Nevada state court judge, with her chambers in Las Vegas — was recently named our Judge of the Day. She achieved this honor after being banned from the courthouse by the chief judge.
Anyway, we’re pleased to report the Honorable Elizabeth Halverson is now back at work. Congratulations, Your Honor!
Also, she is still really large.
P.S. Speaking of Las Vegas, we’re going to be out there over Memorial Day weekend, to attend the wedding of a friend (no, not Britney).
If you’ll be in Vegas at the same time, and would be interested in shooting craps grabbing drinks with us, please drop us a line. If there’s enough interest, maybe we’ll hold another ATL happy hour, or office hours. Thanks.
Halverson returns to court [Las Vegas Review-Journal]
Earlier: Judges of the Day: Elizabeth Halverson and Fred Axley

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Clerkship Bonus Watch: Ropes & Gray to $50K

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Ropes Gray LLP Above the Law blog.jpgYes, that’s right. In its New York office, Ropes & Gray has upped its clerkship bonus to $50,000 (and $35,000 in its other offices). If you have two years of clerkship experience, you’ll get $70,000 — no matter what office you’re in.
From the firm website:

Our annual salary for first-year associates, in all of our offices, is $160,000. Associates joining Ropes & Gray from one or two years of clerking are treated as members of their law school class for compensation purposes. Associates joining our New York office receive a bonus of $50,000 if they clerked for one year and $70,000 for two years of clerking; associates joining our other offices receive a bonus of $35,000 if they clerked for one year and $70,000 for two years of clerking.

We haven’t heard much clerkship bonus news lately. If you know of a move that we haven’t previously reported on, please email us. Thanks.
Compensation & Benefits [Ropes & Gray]

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Law Firm Merger Mania: Locke Liddell + Lord Bissell

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harriet miers.jpgThe latest Biglaw combination brings together more “L”s than you can shake a stick at. From the Texas Lawyer:

Locke Liddell & Sapp, based in Houston and Dallas, and Chicago-based Lord, Bissell & Brook have agreed to merge, and will form a 700-lawyer firm named Locke Lord Bissell & Liddell.

Hmm, that’s a mouthful — the marketing people might want to rethink things. The alliteration and internal rhyme make the firm name far too “busy.”
Correction: Based on the comments, it appears that we’re wrong about the internal rhyme. But we still think the new firm name is unwieldy.
Some reactions to more substantive aspects of the deal, after the jump.

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Greenhouse v. Greenburg: The Catfight Continues

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All About Eve 2 Linda Greenhouse Jan Crawford Greenburg Jan Greenburg Jan Greenberg Jan Crawford Greenberg Above the Law.JPGDo we exaggerate the rivalry between Linda Greenhouse, the New York Times’s veteran Supreme Court correspondent, and comely up-and-comer Jan Crawford Greenburg, who covers the Court for ABC News?
Maybe. We have a weakness for the dramatic, in case you haven’t noticed. But even if exaggerated, there’s no denying the tension between these two formidable female journalists.
Linda Greenhouse recently spoke at a litigation department luncheon at Willkie Farr in New York. And in her remarks, she threw down the gauntlet before Jan Crawford Greenburg.
Here’s what La Greenhouse had to say about Supreme Conflict, the bestselling book penned by her young rival (emphasis added):

“In her book, Jan Crawford Greenburg wrote, I think quite improbably and without any evidence, that Justice Thomas is the ideological heavyweight anchoring the conservative side of the court…”

“Jan Crawford Greenburg got a lot of mileage out of that statement in the Wall Street Journal and elsewhere, but I just don’t think it’s true.”

WOW. What did Willkie Farr feed Greenhouse for lunch? Fancy Feast?
An interesting account of the rest of Greenhouse’s remarks, from an ATL reader who was there, after the jump.

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Nationwide Pay Raise Watch: Frank Feibelman Raises to $175K

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We recently were sent this pay raise announcement, which we reprint with the permission of the sender:

Frank Feibelman Frank M Feibelman Above the Law blog.JPGI will pay my first year associate $175,000.

I just need to generate the income to hire someone at that pay level.
Frank M. Feibelman
Attorney at Law
5206 Markel Road
Richmond, VA 23230

Okay, here’s Mr. Feibelman’s real point, which is a fair one: “Bear in mind that not all of your readers are Big Law lawyers; some are sole practitioners.”
And here is one other thing to keep in mind. Biglaw attorneys, be thankful for your deep-pocketed clients, who allow you to practice law without too many cost considerations.
To be sure, even big corporate clients are becoming more cost-conscious — and complaining about high fees. But they’re still not as cheap cost-conscious as small businesses and individuals, the typical clients of sole practitioners, who freak out over legal bills when they reach into the five figures.
P.S. Speaking of solo practitioners — how much does the typical one earn? Their incomes can vary widely, but we’d be interested in a random sampling. If you’re a sole practitioner, please describe the nature of your practice and how much you earn, by posting in the comments. Thanks.
Frank M. Feibelman: Attorney at Law [official website]
Associate Salary Wars: The GCs Strike Back [WSJ Law Blog]

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ATL Practice Pointers: Don’t Insult the Judge in Open Court

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William Smith William P Smith Bill Smith McDermott Will Emery Above the Law blog.jpgOr even in chambers, for that matter. But open court is worse. From a tipster:

In a bankruptcy case here in the Southern District of Florida, William P. Smith — a partner at McDermott Will & Emery (Chicago), and the head of its bankruptcy department — actually told a judge she was “a few French Fries short of a Happy Meal.”

Literally. In open court. Amazing.

Don’t believe us? Check out the transcript:
French Fries Happy Meal Judge Laurel Myerson Isicoff Above the Law blog.JPG
In fairness to Bill Smith, please note that he let fly this insult “with respect.” Nice touch, counsel.
Alas, Judge Isicoff didn’t take kindly to a lawyer questioning the completeness of her “Happy Meal.”
Find out how she responded, after the jump.

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Morning Docket: 05.24.07

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* Slate wrap-up of Goodling testimony. [Slate]
* You’ve heard of custody disputes becoming a dog fight… [ABA e-Journal]
* Vegas City Council pushes dealer on huge flag issue. [CNN]
* Developments in Barbri class action. [WSJ Law Blog]
* DC Madam and her attorney host Q&A in Georgetown. [BLT]

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Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

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car wreck car crash Above the Law blog.jpgHe’s not a judge yet, so we can’t bestow our coveted Judge of the Day award upon him. But he has secured the Democratic nomination for a judgeship, in Philadelphia — which means he has a decent shot of being elected.
Then again, whether Willie Singletary gets elected to the bench may depend upon how much the electorate appreciates irony. From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Willie Singletary won a Democratic nomination for Traffic Court last week despite being a scofflaw of major proportions.

As of primary day, Singletary, 26, owed $11,427.50 for 55 violations, including reckless driving, driving without a license, careless driving, driving without registration, and driving without insurance.

In fact, a bench warrant had been issued for his arrest – a fact made public after the election by Bernard Strain, who lost in the Democratic primary for Traffic Court but who won a Republican nomination.

A little more discussion, after the jump.

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Brokeback Lawfirm: S&C Bends Over for Bloggers?

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Aaron Charney 2 headshot Aaron B Charney Aaron Brett CharneyWell, maybe not quite. But we do find it interesting that, in the recent wave of publicity over Aaron Charney’s amended complaint, Sullivan & Cromwell’s public relations team at Sard Verbinnen reached out to us. They emailed the following statement to us:

“This is just a rehash of his original, now dismissed, complaint with the addition of some unsubstantiated allegations. We will continue to defend the Firm vigorously against these same baseless claims. Sullivan & Cromwell remains committed to fostering an inclusive workplace environment for all of its lawyers and staff and is proud of our track record of promoting diversity.”

It’s not a particularly exciting statement; but we were excited to receive it. Although they’ve been working extensively with the mainstream media over the past few months, Sard Verbinnen — which S&C hired specifically for L’Affaire Charney (a different media relations shop handles the firm’s general publicity) — had never contacted us before.
And we weren’t the only “new media” types to get the message. The PR gurus also emailed their statement to two leading Charneybloggers: Lavi Soloway and Professor Arthur Leonard.
Not to be outdone, Aaron Charney’s lawyers spoke to us on the phone. We had a quick conversation the other day with Dan Alterman, of Alterman & Boop, who had this to say:

“The amended complaint is a wonderful opportunity for us to get this case focused back on the main issues — especially the discrimination and retaliation claims.”

Public relations firms reaching out to us; lawyers talking to us on the telephone. We feel so… legitimate!
Charney v Sullivan & Cromwell, Take 2 [Arthur Leonard / Leonard Link]
I Received This Email, Moments After Posting About Charney’s Amended Complaint [Lavi Soloway]

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Nationwide Pay Raise Watch: DLA Piper

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DLA Piper Above the Law blog.JPGIt’s been all over the comments, so it’s not exactly breaking news. But we have verified it with a source at the firm.
The DLA Piper memo, from your pals Larry, Moe and Curly Frank, Lee and Terry, appears after the jump.
P.S. We intend no disrespect to the work that Frank Burch, Lee Miller, and Terry O’Malley are doing as joint CEOs of DLA Piper. We just think the informality of signing memos as “Frank, Lee and Terry” is a bit forced.
C’mon, guys. You’re the heads of a major international law firm — not three guys we met down at the track.

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