* Hey, I’m doing Non-Sequiturs. It’s been a while. Why don’t you check out this thorough examination about why two-year law schools will never happen while I get my bearings. [The Atlantic]
* The Alec Baldwin stalker trial has been awesome. Baldwin cried. He told a photographer “I hope you choke to death.” The alleged stalker had to be removed from the courtroom. I can’t wait till Ben Affleck plays Alec in the movie. [Gawker]
That cat in the hat knows a lot about how stupid 12-year-olds are.
* Lawyer gets her ass kicked because her client was a dog. Of course, she was in Dog Court so that is to be expected. [Alaska Dispatch]
* Can women “have it all” in Biglaw? No, of course not. I’m starting to think that’s a stupid question. Here’s a better question: how can we make it easier for women to ignore their families, overcome sexism, and become empty husks where a person once lived so those who want to can chase Biglaw partnership just as easily as the men do. [New York Times]
* Okay, I’ve hit stupid law schools, pets, sexism… what am I missing? Oh I know, they’ll be a settlement in the Central Park Five case. BILL DE BLASIO WAS SENT HERE TO END RACISM! [Huffington Post]
* JoePa likes to end these things with some kind of video, but no legally related video happened today. Unless you’re a personal injury attorney who counts the Harlem Globetrotters as your clients. Then, you might have a case against this basketball hoop maker for violating their implied warranty of dunkability…
* Obama’s win for health care reform didn’t result in a polling bump for him, but it did result in an even higher disapproval rating for SCOTUS, at least as far as Republicans are concerned… [POLITCO; CBS News]
* … which may be why Chief Justice John Roberts escaped to “an impregnable island fortress” to avoid the Right’s fury, criticism, and scorn as soon as he could after the ACA opinion dropped. [New York Times]
* “[W]e have learned from the mistakes that were made.” That lesson only cost a few billion dollars. GlaxoSmithKline will pay $3B in the largest health-care fraud settlement in U.S. history. [Wall Street Journal]
* After losing a bid to quash a subpoena, Twitter has to turn over info about an #OWS protester’s tweets. OMG, please respond to that thing in 140 characters or less. [Bloomberg]
* Unlike most recent law school grads, Yale Law’s Vanessa Selbst hasn’t been hedging her bets in bar prep classes. Instead, she went all in, played her cards right, and won $244K at the World Series of Poker. [ESPN]
* Divorce really does bring out the best in people. Alec Baldwin says that if given the chance, he would murder his ex-wife Kim Basinger’s lawyer “with a baseball bat.” Gee, tell us how you really feel. [New York Post]
* With the Supreme Court talking about immigration today, let’s take a look at how all the SCOTUS justices got to America. [Reuters]
* In any event, except for Scalia, the Court looks like it’s going to find a reasonable way through the Arizona immigration mess. If you’re detained for something, cops can check your status, but they can’t just go out and ask people to show them their papers on the street. Scalia thinks, I don’t know, he sounds like he thinks we’re still living under the Articles of Confederation or something. [SCOTUSblog]
* You know, I think that in the end I don’t have a problem with LSAC raising fees to take the LSAT. I mean, the cost of law school is completely out of control, prospective law students have proven that they’ll pay any price for any thing. Remember I said this when I start charging $500,000 for “Elie’s Pre-Law Seminars,” which is just a DVD of me screaming at a ten-year-old for 30 minutes. [Balkinization]
* I don’t ever want to piss Alec Baldwin off. I’m serious. [Dealbreaker]
* I’m not sure these ways to stay sane in a “toxic” office would work in a toxic law office. Unless you add liquor. Alcohol lets you go toxic on them! [Forbes]
* I love that Rob Portman, the man who inspired a walk-out at Michigan Law’s Commencement, is thought to be a “safe” pick for Romney. But hey, this is the same party that thinks nominating a wealthier Bob Dole against a charismatic president who can keep it in his pants is going to work out for them. [Recess Appointments]
Armed with this new information, I bring you stories of commencement ridiculousness at schools with student bodies mature enough to take a little scrutiny.
Graduation has come and gone at Yale Law School and Harvard Law School. And while most Yale and Harvard graduates have jobs lined up for this fall, the transition from student to graduate did not go as smoothly as possible. At one school, a Supreme Court justice essentially had to crash the ceremonies. At another school, it seems the smart people organizing the event were totally flummoxed by the naturally occurring phenomenon of rain.
You’d think that with 380-plus years of combined experience, these two law schools could figure out how to run a graduation ceremony. But apparently there’s no accounting for common sense….
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The holiday season is upon us, and yet again, you have no idea what to get for the fickle lawyer in your life. We’re here to help. Even if your bonus check hasn’t arrived yet, any one of the gifts we’ve highlighted here could be a worthy substitute until your employer decides to make it rain.
We’ve got an eclectic selection for you to choose from, so settle in by that stack of documents yet to be reviewed and dig in…
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