Animal Law

If the monkey took it, it owns copyright, not me, that’s their basic argument. What they don’t realise is that it needs a court to decide that.

– David Slater, a British nature photographer embroiled in a conflict with Wikimedia over the copyright to photos taken by a female macaque monkey who stole Slater’s camera in 2011 and used it take a selfie. Tween girls, amiright? Anyway, Wikimedia considers the picture royalty-free because the author of the work is, in fact, a monkey, and until Caesar’s revolution she isn’t likely to look to enforce her right. Slater argues that he owns the copyright since it was his camera. As for the title, okay you caught me — the monkey didn’t put her selfie up on any dating sites, but did post to Instagram with the message “New camera! #fecesthrowing #blessed.”

Alec Baldwin was such a stud.

* “I don’t care if it’s legal, it’s wrong.” President Obama is pointing the finger at companies using cross-border mergers to avoid U.S. taxes, and he wants to put an end to corporate tax inversions. [Bloomberg]

* Thomas Christina of Ogletree Deakins is the lawyer behind the recent circuit split on Obamacare’s state versus federal health insurance subsidies. Blame him or praise him, it’s up to you. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “I think I missed being in the courtroom more than I missed politics.” John Edwards, acquitted in 2012, is making court appearances again, but this time as a lawyer, not as a defendant. [Am Law Daily]

* A lawyer from Georgia hunts alligators in his spare time, and keeps the taxidermied head of one he caught right on his desk. He says it’s “a great conversation piece,” but that’s a pretty nasty paperweight. Eww. [Daily Report via ABA Journal]

* In a face-off with Alec Baldwin, a judge asked the actor to apologize. The combative Baldwin said he’d rather pay a fine, but if he can “[b]e a good boy,” his biking charge will be dropped. [New York Daily News]

* Watchcat! [Legal Juice]

* On a similar note, New York banning “Tiger Selfies.” When do they give out the Darwin Awards again? [Lowering the Bar]

* Are there lessons to be learned from the lawyer who applied for — and got rejected from — a paralegal gig? [Law and More]

* Have you ever seen a standup comic playing music during a set? Well, they’re doing it to prevent others — clubs, networks, etc. — from lifting their work and selling it as their own. Welcome to the world of standups and copyright. [The Legal Geeks]

* You already heard our take. Now for someone who took some actual time to think about what Noel Canning means. [Federal Regulations Advisor]

* The sexiest law firm in the world? [The Careerist]

* The Supreme Court is less conservative than we think. Let’s have a poll! After reading this, do you think SCOTUS is less conservative than you expected? After the jump…. [Washington Post]

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‘Please remoooooove your hands from my udders!’

I wish I could take credit for the bill but I cannot.

– New Jersey Assemblyman Jack Ciattarelli (R-Somerset), commenting on an intern’s suggestion to pass a bill to ban bestiality in light of a previous cow molestation case. The bill was unanimously approved.

When you have 100+ cats, your house is their litter box.

I knew I was in the middle of an epidemic.

Jan Van Dusen, an attorney accused of animal abuse whose home, where she kept more than one hundred feral cats, was raided by Animal Control officers. She admitted in court that her house “smelled like feces,” and also smelled like urine, “but not that much.”

(The U.S. Tax Court previously allowed Van Dusen to deduct a small amount for her cat care expenses — but not the $12,000 she initially requested.)

* Want to see a really terrible version of 12 Angry Men? Watch it in Louisiana or Oregon, the two states that allow criminal convictions even when jurors are holding out. The Supreme Court has an opportunity to fix that, let’s see if they will. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Speaking of 12 Angry Men, this chart of the Dungeons & Dragons alignments of each juror is entertaining. [Imgur]

* The judge in the Janice and Ira Schacter kerfuffle invoked Above the Law in her decision as proof that the accusations against Ira Schacter were in the public eye. Thanks for specifically promoting us over the rest of the NY media Justice Laura Drager! [NY Post]

* Watch a bunch of law students talk about cats on Facebook. Will it end in douchebag posturing and threats of lawsuits? Of course it will! [Legal Cheek]

* “Volunteer Liquor Commissioner” was disciplined for operating a Facebook page for people complaining about the police. He’s suing. Better question is what does a “Volunteer Liquor Commissioner” even do? [IT-Lex]

* Allegations that Disney ripped off the trailer for Frozen from an animated short. They should really let it go. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Chief Justice John Roberts says he’s a minimalist. He’s wrong. [Election Law Blog]

* Microsoft stopped supporting Windows XP. The IRS decided to keep going with the old product. So now your tax records are at risk. Enjoy the fruits of budgeting with anti-IRS legislators! [TaxProf Blog]

* Corporette tackles the thorny question of what to do with your email when you leave a firm. Personally, I used my email to offer my firm’s services to a whole panoply of Nigerian princes on my way out the door, but her advice is good too. [Corporette]

* Cursing out someone in court in a foreign language will not protect you from criminal contempt. Well, my investment in Rosetta Stone Romanian just went down the drain. [Southern District of Florida Blog]

* Requiring wild animals to be microchipped is not a regulatory taking. Besides, as I read this NSA stuff, it seems like we should be more concerned about humans being microchipped than some Ocelot (named Babou, obviously). [IT-Lex]

* This is just awful. There’s no joke here. Well, there is, but I’m not going to make it. [Fox News]

* A little late, but this is a fun April Fools’ Day riff on Biglaw expansion efforts. I’m not saying they’re making fun of DLA Piper, but they’re totally making fun of DLA Piper. [Green Patent Blog]

* If you’re looking for a public records request to make of the City of Philadelphia, try getting every document surrounding the decision to go after unpaid labor at the expense of giving paying work to lawyers. Screenshot here in case they get wise to the bad publicity. [Philadelphia Bar Association]

* Kent Zimmerman discusses how some law firms are finding growth in the challenging market. Check it out after the jump…. [Mimesis]

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* I include this line not to highlight the horribleness of zoos, but because I’m doing NS today and this contains a fun anecdote about walrus masturbation. [Cracked]

* Meanwhile, on Redline, I’m like, doing stuff. [ATL: Redline]

* “I really want to go to law school to study international law and be a part of solving problems like what’s going on in Crimea right now.” — Dumb idiot who will wish he read Above the Law before he went to law school. [Radio Free Europe]

* Student gets punished for sending a tweet from home. Should it really matter where you are sitting when you hit the button on the tweet calling your principal a “pussy ass bitch”? [It-Lex]

* I think the jurors on the Bernie Madoff co-conspirator case might be running a Ponzi scheme. [Dealbreaker]

* Everyone is overwhelmed, apparently. [Going Concern]

* Scalia apparently comes up with his s**t while dozing off to sleep. So, literally now, Scalia’s dreams are the stuff of my nightmares. [Military.com]

* A Miami attorney is gearing up for legalized medical marijuana. He’s even selling franchises, hopefully called McKinebud’s. [Daily Business Review]

* Is Gwyneth cheating on Chris Martin with an entertainment lawyer? [Defamer]

* A Florida village has become a refuge to sex offenders because there’s nowhere else they can go. Isn’t this the plot of Arrested Development? [Agence France-Presse via Yahoo!]

* As if law schools aren’t charging enough, they also absolutely ravage students on casebook prices. It doesn’t have to be this way. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Who’d have thought it would be this hard to define a pig? [Modern Farmer]

* If you aren’t following DLA Piper’s boss Sir Nigel Knowles on Twitter, then… you’re lucky. [Legal Cheek]

* The vice president of the Constitutional Accountability Center weighs in on Judge Wright Allen’s marriage equality decision from the perspective of a gay, married Virginian. [Pilot Online]

* See, it’s not just lawyers who get annoyed when TV doesn’t live up to the realities of the profession. Political communications professionals can get pretty irked by House of Cards. [Ditto Public Affairs]

* A circuit judge just seized control of a lower court’s docket, setting restrictions on a judge’s ability to hear domestic violence cases after finding a repeated pattern of improperly blowing off these matters. It may be the Benchslap-Heard-Round-the-Nation since the slapped jurist is also the president-elect of the American Judges Association. [Detroit Free Press]

* Randy Levine, president of the New York Yankees, has left Akin Gump’s dugout. He hopes to hit it out of the park and slide into his new home at Jackson Lewis. Please, no more baseball references. :( [Am Law Daily]

* Thanks to Virginia, the electric chair may be making a comeback when drugs for lethal injection aren’t available. OMG, that’s so freakin’ lame. Bring back the breaking wheel or death by disembowelment. [Gawker]

* A lawyer won’t have to pay an ex-law student $1M after making a hyperbolic challenge in a TV interview. Better luck reading the Leonard v. Pepsico case next time, pal. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Protip: when you’ve been recommended for suspension for your “contemptuous attitude,” bragging that one of the judges who disciplined you thinks you’re “probably the best DUI lawyer” isn’t smart. [Santa Barbara Independent]

* If you watch The Walking Dead, you’ve probably wondered if all of the killing was legal — because you’re a lawyer, and you can’t enjoy anything anymore. Here’s your answer, from a UC Hastings Law prof. [GQ]

* If you’d like your chickens to live a life of luxury before you eat them and their eggs, then you’re going to love this law in California. If not, you can move to Missouri. See Elie squawk about it here. [ATL Redline]

* Ian Whittle, a recent George Mason Law grad, took a break from watching the saddest Super Bowl ever to save a little girl from drowning in a pond. Check out the news coverage, after the jump. [CBS 6 WTVR]

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