• Homer_Simpson_2006

    Benchslaps, Drugs, Football, Law Schools, Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 08.29.14

    In honor of the Simpsons marathon let’s introduce each of these with a Simpsons quote.

    * Dr. Hibbert: And hillbillies want to be called “Sons of the Soil,” but it ain’t gonna happen. — BofA wants that $1.3 billion verdict tossed as “unreasonable.” [Law360]

    * Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, I have had it, I have had it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children! — Suffolk University fired its president just days before school began. I’d like to think it was over their subway ads. In any event, the interim president seems to get the problem: “‘I don’t think there’s growth there,’ he said, referring to [law school] enrollment.” [Boston Globe]

    * Homer: Barney’s movie had heart, but “Football in the Groin” had a football in the groin — College football kicked off last night (or Wednesday if we cared about Georgia State), so check in with the lawyer for the USC player who pretended he injured himself saving his nephew’s life. [Deadspin]

    * Lionel Hutz: There’s the truth and… the truth! — Bracewell & Giuliani partner, Glenn A. Ballard Jr., got benchslapped in Texas for “an affront to this court, to the other parties and to judicial integrity.” Everything’s bigger in Texas. [Houston Chronicle]

    * Chief Wiggum: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah blah. — After Philip Seymour Hoffman’s overdose, the police actually arrested a jazz musician. He got no jail time after he hired a new lawyer, Alex Spiro, who went after the cops for taking advantage of his client. [NY Daily News]

    * Jimbo: You let me down, man. Now I don’t believe in nothing no more. I’m going to law school. — Professor Campos wonders if American University law school will sue students who drop out or transfer? [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    2 Comments / / Aug 29, 2014 at 9:03 AM
  • Judges Gavel

    Benchslaps, Biglaw, Technology

    Latham Sued For Malicious Prosecution

    Latham still has an opportunity to defend itself, but the language of the opinion is not encouraging.

    7 Comments / / Aug 28, 2014 at 2:09 PM
  • iStock_000007900029XSmall-RF

    Benchslaps, Court Reporters / Stenographers, Screw-Ups, State Judges, Trials

    Bench Berates Contemptuous Court Reporters Over Tardy Transcripts

    If a court reporting service just didn’t prepare transcripts in criminal cases for months on end, they might earn themselves a hearty benchslapping.

    9 Comments / / Aug 28, 2014 at 12:31 PM
  • Judge Richard Posner

    7th Circuit, Benchslaps, Gay, Gay Marriage, Richard Posner

    Judge Posner’s Blistering Benchslaps At The Same-Sex Marriage Arguments

    Judge Posner didn’t go easy on lawyers trying to defend the Indiana and Wisconsin bans on same-sex marriage.

    137 Comments / / Aug 27, 2014 at 11:09 AM
  • Burger King LF

    7th Circuit, Andrew Cuomo, Benchslaps, Biglaw, Blogging, Erwin Chemerinsky, Fast Food, Gay, Gay Marriage, In-House Counsel, Law Professors, Mergers and Acquisitions, Morning Docket, New York Times, Police, Politics, Richard Posner, SCOTUS, Sports, Supreme Court, Tim Wu

    Morning Docket: 08.27.14

    * Judge Posner dished out a whole lot of benchslaps at yesterday’s Seventh Circuit arguments over Indiana and Wisconsin’s bans on same-sex marriage. [BuzzFeed]

    * Major U.S. and Canadian law firms chow down on Burger King’s whopper of a deal with Tim Hortons. [Am Law Daily]

    * A recent Delaware court ruling on attorney-client privilege might allow in-house lawyers to speak more freely about wrongdoing at their companies, according to Professor Steven Davidoff Solomon. [DealBook / New York Times]

    * The corruption trial of former Virginia governor continues; yesterday Bob McDonnell’s sister took the stand. [Washington Post]

    * A favorable evidentiary ruling for Aaron Hernandez. [Fox Sports]

    * And good news for Zephyr Teachout and Tim Wu, the two law professors running for governor and lieutenant governor of New York: the Times dissed their opponent, Andrew Cuomo, with a non-endorsement. [New York Times]

    * I recently spoke with one of my cousins Joao Atienza of the Cebu Sun Star, about Above the Law and the world of legal blogging. [Cebu Sun Star]

    3 Comments / / Aug 27, 2014 at 9:10 AM
  • benchslap-RF

    Benchslaps, Biglaw, Family Law

    Biglaw Yells And Defies Court Orders In Family Law Case, Receives Stern Benchslap

    When you balk at giving a straight answer to “how much does your client want?” then a benchslap is only a matter of time.

    20 Comments / / Aug 18, 2014 at 1:34 PM
  • benchslap-RF

    Attorney Misconduct, Benchslaps, Crime, Legal Ethics

    Benchslapped Beau Brindley Is Back — And The Target Of A Criminal Probe

    A prominent criminal defense lawyer might face criminal charges; what are the allegations against him?

    12 Comments / / Aug 7, 2014 at 11:08 AM
  • Trump-for-Prez

    Advertising, Andrew Cuomo, Benchslaps, Copyright, Donald Trump, Insurance, Non-Sequiturs, Sports, Technology

    Non-Sequiturs: 08.06.14

    * Donald Trump is suing to get his name removed from the Trump Plaza and Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City because his reputation is tarnished by tacky façades dedicated to giving off the mere illusion of success. [Bloomberg Businessweek]

    * Beset by corruption allegations, Governor Cuomo is using funds out of his campaign war chest to fund his defense rather than squandering taxpayer dollars. Ball’s in your court neighboring state governor. [North County Public Radio]

    * Beau Brindley, a benchslap legend, is now the subject of his very own federal criminal probe after allegedly encouraging a client to lie under oath. A tipster told us last year “this won’t be the last you hear of [Brindley].” How prophetic. [Chicago Sun-Times]

    * The woman given a forced blow job simulation for the glory of a 7-inch Burger King burger is speaking out. [Copyranter]

    * The Women’s World Cup is scheduled for next year in Canada, but a number of high-profile players are threatening — with the help of Boies, Schiller & Flexner and Canadian firm Osler, Hoskin & Harcourt — to sue FIFA for discrimination over its plan to subject the women’s tournament to artificial turf. Are you suggesting FIFA is a disastrously flawed organization? Get out. [Fox Sports]

    * Guess what? Your insurance company isn’t made up of the worst people on the planet. Unless you use this insurance company. Because then, maybe it is. [Gawker]

    * A Harvard Law grad wanted to install an intercom so he invented a system known as “Nucleus” that does the job for less than $200. [ Philly]

    * If you’re interested in the fun and exciting world of startups, head on out to Legal Tech SF’s Startup Weekend. It’s August 15-17 at Airbnb headquarters. I assume after August 17 the location reverts to the headquarters of some other company. [Legal Tech SF]

    1 Comment / / Aug 6, 2014 at 4:47 PM
  • namecalling-kids

    Attorney Misconduct, Benchslaps, Biglaw, Depositions, Federal Judges, Legal Ethics, Litigators, Partner Issues

    Biglaw Firm Ordered To Make A Video Apologizing For Discovery Abuses

    Litigators are like unruly kids, which is why this benchslap with a sanction straight out of elementary school is so appropriate.

    7 Comments / / Jul 30, 2014 at 5:37 PM
  • benchslap-RF

    Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Litigators

    A Life And Death Benchslap

    Thankfully, despite the stakes it’s a pretty funny benchslap….

    14 Comments / / Jul 29, 2014 at 11:26 AM
  • namecalling-kids

    Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Litigators, Litigatrix, Rudeness

    Judge: ‘“You’re An A**hole, Dan” Is Not How An Attorney Should Address Her Adversary.’

    That said, maybe her adversary really is an a**hole. Did the judge take time to consider that and include it in his opinion? Oh, he did!

    22 Comments / / Jul 22, 2014 at 11:22 AM
  • Fly-swatter RF

    Benchslaps, Legal Ethics

    Lawyer Smacks Judge Repeatedly With Flyswatter

    Why was he carrying a flyswatter in the first place?

    9 Comments / / Jul 21, 2014 at 11:19 AM
  • Donald Sterling

    Basketball, Benchslaps, Books, Non-Sequiturs, Religion, SCOTUS, Supreme Court

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.07.14

    * Mitchell Epner breaks down the Donald Sterling trial, which kicked off today. Or “tipped off” today. [CNBC]

    * Judge Kopf reviews Keith Lee’s The Marble and the Sculptor. Keith can take heart that His Honor didn’t tell him to STFU. [Hercules and the Umpire]

    * MoloLamken offers its comprehensive review of the Supreme Court’s recently concluded adventures from the perspective of businesses. Spoiler alert: businesses did really, really well. [MoloLamken]

    * Former seminary dean lied about his religious background and then tried to sue the guy who called him out on it. Benchslapping ensued in a fee decision: “Plaintiff’s sparse trickle of written argument gave way at the hearing to an overflow of objectively unreasonable claims…. Plaintiff either cast unsupported aspersions or asserted boldfaced contradictions, adopting whatever narrative best served him at the time.” In fairness, those sound like they might be assets in organized religion. [Religion Posts]

    * If you want to know what’s up in the energy sector, Breaking Energy now has a “Law Firms Perspective” feed. [Breaking Energy]

    * Discretion is the better part of valor: gamblers turned down around $1.5 million payout to sue casino for illegal detention… and then lost. [ATL Redline]

    * I’ve said before that I find the concept of legal tattoos fascinating. This one is incredibly meta….

    5 Comments / / Jul 7, 2014 at 4:58 PM
  • 190px-Judge_Judy

    2nd Circuit, Benchslaps, Non-Sequiturs, Supreme Court

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.01.14

    * Judge Judy hears a case about Grindr. “Don’t pee on my leg… unless you’re into that.” [Gawker]

    * Supreme Court retirements announced! [Legal Times]

    * Most criminals don’t walk around in a giant yellow bird costume. This guy is not most criminals. [Lowering the Bar]

    * The Washington Post credits blogger Josh Blackman with coining the term “benchslap.” Professor Blackman corrected the author. Let’s get a Kickstarter going to buy her a Black’s Law Dictionary (affiliate link) so she doesn’t make this mistake again. [Washington Post]

    * The Chamber of Commerce didn’t win every case this term. But it came awfully close to perfect when it counted. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

    * If you’ve been looking to complete your collection of Second Circuit bobbleheads, behold Judge Denny Chin! If this wasn’t sponsored by the National Asian Pacific American Bar Association, I’d worry this pic was a little racist…. [Squareup]

    4 Comments / / Jul 1, 2014 at 5:03 PM
  • Modern Jury Box

    2nd Circuit, Antonin Scalia, Benchslaps, Books, Jed Rakoff, Non-Sequiturs, Securities and Exchange Commission, Supreme Court, Technology

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.09.14

    * Jury duty is the only major civic duty that no one ever talks about. Professor Andrew Ferguson would like to change that by encouraging jurors to speak up about their experience. Enjoy learning how the sausage of justice is made! [Huffington Post] * Verizon threatens to sue Netflix for honestly reporting how bad Verizon’s […]

    1 Comment / / Jun 9, 2014 at 5:06 PM
  • bam pow explode explosion

  • boxing-gloves-e1349376127833-RF

    Benchslaps, State Judges, Violence

    Judge Beats Up Public Defender

    Judge tells lawyer, “if you want to fight let’s go out back.” What happens next is exactly what that sentence implied.

    48 Comments / / Jun 3, 2014 at 11:08 AM
  • tootsie-roll-pop-owl

    Defamation, Environment / Environmental Law, Gay Marriage, Non-Sequiturs, Rape

    Non-Sequiturs: 05.22.14

    * “Mr. Owl, how many permits do you need to complete a simple LNG export transaction?” “Well, let’s see… A-one. A-two-hoo. A-three. Three.” [Breaking Energy] * Defamation laws in Europe are way out of whack. For example when gorgeous model Anara Atanes took to Twitter to rip the manager of France’s World Cup team for […]

    3 Comments / / May 22, 2014 at 5:09 PM