Someone on Craigslist isn’t happy with the job market in Charleston, South Carolina. Apparently law firms down there make hefty and cynical demands of their potential associates.
We understand that the market for attorney employment isn’t great right now, and we’re looking to capitalize on that so that we can maximize our earnings and minimize our costs. While this does mean a few more Ramen noodle meals for you, just think of how pleased you’ll be when you see us (the partners) cruising the waterways on our new boats or when we’re able to buy a second Lexus SUV for our wives. We understand that you’re seeking to build a career and pay off high-interest student loans, but second homes don’t come cheap and neither does the maintenance for my Mercedes to get there. And don’t worry, I don’t have any problems sleeping at night.
Thus, this parody classified. It’s already been taken down, but we grabbed a screen cap…
We’ve spent a fair amount of time in these pages decrying the low wages that contract attorneys are being offered. And the reasons for this go deeper than just some intrinsic belief that attorneys deserve to make more than minimum wage or the somewhat selfish desire to pay more than the minimum amount due on your student loans (or any of your other financial obligations).
Accepting low-paying jobs, and doing a decent (read: non-malpractice) job, has the effect of driving down the overall market rate. Once one major staffing agency or vendor starts offering below-market rates, others start dipping their toe into the cheaper waters and before you know it, the market standard has changed . . . and not in a way that helps contract attorneys. This reality has even gotten some begging their compatriots not to take below the market rate and even floating the idea of a contract attorney union.
So aside from the obvious, and all too common, scenario where you are trying to stave off financial ruin, is it ever okay to take a job that pays significantly below the market rate?
§ 18.2-346. Prostitution; commercial sexual conduct; commercial exploitation of a minor; penalties.
A. Any person who, for money or its equivalent, (i) commits adultery, fornication, or any act in violation of § 18.2-361, performs cunnilingus, fellatio, or anilingus upon or by another person, or engages in anal intercourse or (ii) offers to commit adultery, fornication, or any act in violation of § 18.2-361, perform cunnilingus, fellatio, or anilingus upon or by another person, or engage in anal intercourse and thereafter does any substantial act in furtherance thereof is guilty of prostitution, which is punishable as a Class 1 misdemeanor.
If you think that fully covers all reasonable definitions of “prostitution,” well then you probably have an uncreative mind and a boring sex life. Look, the law gets even more vague further down:
If clichés are to be believed, confidence is extremely important in the business world. And speaking in broad stereotypes, confidence (or at least faking it) is something that lawyers are supposed to possess. So I suppose it really shouldn’t be shocking that an attorney advertising for work would reek of smugness, but actually seeing it? Well, all I can think of is AC/DC.
Not content to scour Craigslist for available job listings, one contract attorney has taken things a step further. This intrepid individual has posted an ad seeking work as a contract attorney. And the results? They’re spectacular….
If television producers put up this Craigslist ad because they were casting for a reality show about a bunch of lawyers living in a D.C. house, then this would make sense. Every week, two of the housemates have to argue why they should stay and another should go. People would watch it.
But this isn’t a television producer being polite, this is law graduates being real. A group of self-described, recent law school graduates are looking for another roommate who must also be a recent law grad — preferably one who is clerking or working for a Congressional committee.
It seems like instead of looking for a roommate on Craigslist, they should be using LinkedIn…
I’m not going to hazard a guess at which “Philadelphia” area law school has a student looking to find an exam stand-in on Craigslist, I’m just going to point out that there is a law student in the Philadelphia area trying to find a person to take a law school final for her on Craigslist.
Note, she’s not asking for a lawyer or another law student to take the exam for her. Any old person will do, as long as she’s blonde…
How can any employer possibly top that? I mean, short of the government or federal judges trying to use unpaid interns, that is. Well, maybe if someone offered a super low-paying job and that job was in New York City. Not to besmirch the good, sweet-tea-loving population of South Carolina, but it’s not quite the same. The $8/hour in South Carolina has about the same buying power as roughly $38,000/year in Manhattan. That’s… bad.
We all get frustrated from time to time; that is a seemingly normal part of every job. And I suppose it only makes sense that those of us that actually got ourselves through law school, and have the debt to show for it, but somehow find ourselves mired in the morass that is document review would be especially vulnerable to these feelings. Modern technology being what it is, there are now seemingly an infinite number of ways to deal with the sense of impotency: maybe you post racist and sexist invectives under an anonymous (read: easy to figure out) screenname, maybe you try to garner support for a union, or maybe you take to task those that you feel have wronged you, by posting a Craigslist ad.
This is a story about the latter. What does it look like when a contract attorney decides to flame on?
Are you out of work and unable to get even the document review companies to look your way? Did you graduate from a lower-ranked law school and want the opportunity to prove you could have played with the big kids at a T14 school? Or maybe you just always thought elite law schools should work more like football teams in the South. Well, you’re in luck, because a T14 1L has taken to Craigslist seeking an experienced attorney (or at least a 2L/3L) to go ahead and tackle his or her homework assignment.
Once again, Craigslist found a way to lower the bar on the outlook for the legal market.
Go ahead and keep reading if you want to know where to send in your résumé. We won’t judge…
‘I know it’s hard, but at least you’re making about $14/hour!’
The value of an attorney isn’t what it used to be. While you’re all ravenously pouring over the U.S. News Law School Rankings to figure out which six-figure law degree is closest to its face value, it’s a good time to check out Craigslist and see exactly how rough newly minted lawyers have it out there. Unless they’re willing to hang up their own awesome shingle, that is.
Contractors are struggling to pay off their loans collecting paltry hourly wages, and now there’s a firm willing to pay a young lawyer even less…
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