* Jury writes judge a note asking for a “big bottle of wine.” It’s gonna be a long night. [Southern District of Florida Blog]
* As it turns out, some Redditors are morons who don’t understand law. Glad we cleared that up. [The Concourse]
* There’s a Kickstarter for an Ally McBeal podcast. If you love talking about unisex bathrooms, here’s a golden opportunity. [Kickstarter]
* Attention law students: there’s a $500 prize in it if you can craft a winning blog post. [The Expert Institute]
* Terrible, terrible advertising. [Copyranter]
* A Simpson Thacher associate is planning to row across the Atlantic to support cancer research. [Remacae]
* These teacher tenure suits are so stupid and completely miss the real reason public schools have trouble. And the lead plaintiff inadvertently confessed just how off the mark he is. [Washington Post]
* AMC released the teaser for Better Call Saul. After the jump… [via Time Magazine]
ATL Academy For Private Practice Volume 1 – Getting Started offers a mix of deeply informed, sometimes contrarian, but always thoughtful insight into meeting the challenges of starting and optimizing your own practice. Click here to download.
Is there ever any excuse for coming down like this on an underaged drinker?
* Have you all called the Breaking Bad law firm number yet? Because it works, so go for it! [Legal Cheek]
* How to make airlines more profitable: make everyone sit on bicycle seats! [Lowering the Bar]
* Ilya Somin explains why the D.C. Circuit’s interpretation in Halbig isn’t absurd. And it’s not absurd. It just reflects the hilariously cynical conservative opposition to giving their own citizens tax breaks. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* Ohio State fired its band director amid sexual harassment allegations. To fire a guy, Ohio State must have dotted every “i” in this investigation. [USA Today]
* Speaking of sexual harassment, the Navy’s Blue Angels are the subject of a sexual harassment suit. And somehow it involves a blue and gold penis seen from space. [Slate]
* The Chevron battle over Ecuador continues. Turns out the star witness Chevron paid upwards of $1 million to testify took 50 days of prep to finally get his ever-shifting story straight. [Huffington Post]
* There’s a new book out called Kate’s Escape from the Billable Hour (affiliate link). We haven’t read it, but apparently this tale of “a burnt-out, second-year attorney working in the dysfunctional world of Big Law” mentions ATL. So they definitely did their research. [Amazon]
* Watch a drunk guy give cops a lesson in Con Law. Video after the jump…. [Barstool Sports]
* Judge Emmet Sullivan (D.D.C.) wants the IRS to explain, in a sworn declaration, how exactly it lost Lois Lerner’s emails. [WSJ Law Blog]
* And the fun for the IRS continues today in the courtroom of Judge Reggie Walton (D.D.C.), as reported by Sidney Powell, author of Licensed To Lie (affiliate link). [New York Observer]
* Speaker John Boehner wants to take the Republicans’ crusade against Obamacare to the courts. [New York Times]
* Andrew Calder, the young M&A partner that Kirkland & Ellis snagged from Simpson Thacher for a reported $5 million a year, is already bringing in big deals. [American Lawyer]
How the cupcake crumbles: the once-successful venture of an NYLS grad and her husband needs a rescue.
* “Duke University is not and never has been in the business of producing, marketing, distributing, or selling alcohol.” Some bros down in Durham disagree. [ABA Journal]
* If you see something… sue someone? The ACLU and Asian American civil rights groups, together with some help from Bingham McCutchen, have filed a legal challenge to the Suspicious Activity Reporting database. [New York Times]
* Congrats to David Hashmall, the incoming chair of Goodwin Procter — and congrats to outgoing chair Regina Pisa, the first woman ever to lead an Am Law 100 firm, on her long and successful leadership. [American Lawyer]
* A group of investors might end up devouring Crumbs, the cupcake-store chain founded by New York Law School grad Mia Bauer that suddenly shut down this week amid talk of a bankruptcy filing. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
This Thursday, come play trivia with ATL and Kaplan.
Casetext is offering select students the opportunity to gain real entrepreneurial experience while in school as part of its law student ambassador program.
Managing partners are supposed to have everything under control, right?
* Okay, law students! How far would you go for silence in the library? [Legal Cheek]
* An attorney was suspended for two years for beating up girlfriend who he began dating while she was still a client. But the real punishment seems to be the extensive text message communications attached to the decision. It’s like a teacher making you read the note you were passing out loud in front of the whole class. Cringeworthy clinginess. [The Oklahoma State Courts Network]
* Lawyer’s alleged drunken air rage diverts a trans-Atlantic flight to Dublin. Because if you have a potentially quarrelsome drunk, dropping him off in Ireland is the right answer. [Irish Times]
* Aeropostale is suing H&M over the phrase, “Live Love Dream.” Maybe what they save on originality they pass along to the consumer. [Fashionista]
* This is how all trials should end. [Condé Nast Collection]
* The wrongfully accused — like the people bullied into pleading guilty to crimes they didn’t commit — are given a raw deal in more ways than one. [Policy Mic]
* Woman arrested after she called the crime lab posing as a court employee and tried to get her evidence destroyed. Well, it was worth a try. [The Times-Picayune]
* Mmm, the taste of money. Kirkland & Ellis and Ropes & Gray are assisting in TPG Capital’s $750M investment in Chobani, a Greek yogurt everyone (except me) absolutely loves. [Am Law Daily]
* A partner from the DebtStoppers law firm was arrested earlier this week after he was accused of refusing to pay a $950 bar tab. Well, we guess that’s one way to stop debt. [RedEye Chicago]
* The FBI raided an Ohio law firm this week, possibly in connection with a client’s murder outside its doors and one of its attorneys calling in a courthouse bomb threat. [Northeast Ohio Media Group]
* Canadian karma: As it turns out, graduates of the newly approved Trinity Western University Law School won’t be able to practice law in Ontario because of the school’s “abhorrent” anti-gay policies. [GlobalPost]
* Tony Buzbee, regent of the Texas A&M System, donated $1M to Texas A&M Law to fund the Johnny Football Endowed Chair. Okay, not really, but it’d be a lot cooler if he did. [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]
* Noah “Kai” Newkirk, the protestor who disrupted Supreme Court arguments in February, was sentenced to time served and barred from the court. Don’t worry, we’ll get you all the SCOTUS clerk news you need, cutie. [Associated Press]
* “There are still a lot of firms out there hoping the good old days are going to return, and are finally coming to the realization that that isn’t going to happen.” More on Biglaw layoffs. [Am Law Daily]
* Yet another law school gets its rating downgraded by Moody’s. As a standalone school with “substantial declines in JD enrollment,” Vermont Law’s outlook is now negative. Sad trombone. [Moody’s]
* Jason Bohn, the heavily indebted law school grad once profiled by the New York Times, was convicted of murdering his girlfriend last month, and now he’s been sentenced to serve life in prison. [New York Post]
* “Is the Tax Code really 70,000 pages long?” No, not really. We wonder who started the rumor that it was so long, because in reality, it’s only about 2,600 pages long — which is still way, way too long. [Slate]
* It appears that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree with this celebrity family. Lindsay Lohan’s mother, Dina Lohan, pleaded guilty yesterday to drunken driving and speeding charges in New York. [CNN]